The Actual Shedfixman

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About The Actual Shedfixman

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  1. Record A Level Passes

    Yep; record passes for the 21st year on the trot and yet we're still the thickest nation in europe. This is what happens when schoolteachers try desperately to keep Ofsted smiling for the sake of their own arses. What a load of dummed down crap. One of my wife's pupils got 20 'gcse's - half with 'stars' and she still can't spell 'Bermondsey'. How many people did you meet with TEN O levels back in the seventies? Let's see what happens next year when they have to include maths and English again.
  2. MacFisheries - and other remembered shops

    Macfisheries definately on site of Halfords, South Parade. Moss Bros was on Hockley on right as you walk up. John Collier (the window to watch!)was on corner of Friar Lane and became Burtons. Big store on King Street was the previous Jessops location before it moved to Vic Centre(Now J.Lewis) Best thing about Burtons in the Council Buildings was the dapper old Ted who worked in the wines+spirits section - always wore a white stewards jacket and treated and spoke to everyone alike as if they were royalty. I once went in when I was 15 and asked for a bottle of aussie white wine(see Yateses - docs and samples)and he said:"An EXCELLENT choice, if I might say so, sir! I'm sure sir will thoroughly enjoy that. Shall I wrap it for sir? My pleasure, sir." Behind me was the most battered up, minging old tramp I ever saw in my life and he asked for the same, except it sounded more like "AAAHZAGIZZABARRALLA AZZAWOWWOWWA, YER BASSS!" to which the reply came: "Certainly sir! A very popular vintage today, sir! I'm sure sir will thoroughly enjoy that! Shall I wrap it for sir, or will sir drink it now?" "AAAZAGLIKK!" "My pleasure, sir!"
  3. Shop without tills

    Well, not exactly, Mick - it always only went kinda 'tink-tink' whenever I passed it. Unless I was REALLY late home, then it went'tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink'. Incidently, and now being serious - are you are aware of some massive UFO sighting in Sawley/Draycott during the early or mid 80's? A mate of mine saw the thing and said it was as big as Wembley Stadium - cant be sure on specific years though H
  4. Shop without tills

    The overpayment collection booth at the Castle Boulevard DHSS also had one of these systems, until it became prone to staff abuse. It was immediately dismantled and removed after a most regrettable incident when the Assistant Chief False Claims Inspector had a fearful accident with it whilst drunk and trying to show off at the 1977 Xmas office party and unwittingly dispatched one of his testicles to the Ilkeston Coop for cross-referencing by Securicor. Another of his colleagues lost his tongue in it the same evening, but he doesn't like to talk about it. Hathers xx
  5. Gruesome business

    Okay, Stallgions - to celebrate my complete and utter confusion at trying to find my way around this dang new fanglin' whatinternation hoodleydoodley Jesus H. Corbett site formatting; here's a powerful one for yers all, now. In which State of the USA is Dallas, in Texas? No - sorry, just kiddin - that's just a Jim Bowen outtake - here's the dooozley - Where - where? WHERE in Nottingham............. might you be able to see a weather vane which is a Biplane? Uh? Uh? That's got you all, antit? Hathers
  6. Photos 64/65?

    You bloody creep, Gregz! Just for that, you can get that soddin chess squad thumbnail resized and posted so's we can ay a proper look. IMSHEE! (Just kiddin Al, we also had one took of me and you in Birmingham too just before the glorious rout, but me ma can't find it. Tek care. Get the photo sorted. You'll find me on facebook under Tom Hathaway, London. Don't be stranger, me old lad!!) Hathers
  7. Photos 64/65?

    I KNEW it was you Gregz! Your posts 've got you written all over 'em. Been some 20 yrs since we last met at yer fac on Hucknall Rd - how yer doin, me old mukker?? Hathaway (OI! Tony Parr was a pushover at chess - how did YOU get to board ONE if you only beat him once, yer kissass?)
  8. Arkwright Chess club

    WOOO!!! NEW SITE FORMAT!!! Could you urry up an get this pic fullsized, as I think I might be in it and I'm suspecting Gregs is?? We were both picked for the Nottm chess side wot STUFFED Birmingham 44-22 in '69/'70 season. Glory days, mi compadres!! The Actual
  9. Trooping the Colour

    I sat and watched the Trooping of the Colour yesterday. Attendant of Her Majesty were the 1st Batt Irish Guards, the 1st Batt Scots Guards, the 1st Batt Grenadier Guards, the 1st Batt Coldstream GUARDS, the LifeGUARDS and the 1st Batt Blues and Royals, all toting between them just about every SA80 assault rifle ever made - with fixed bayonets. Then came the Household Cavalry waving around a hundred gleaming sabres, each sharp enough to split a charging rhinocerous clean through the middle, followed by the 1st Batt Royal Horse Artillery drawing a complete battery of 6 inch Howitzers and ultimately a roaring flypast by the Red Arrows. Throughout, standing dutifully beside Her Majesty at the podium was an armed copper in a flack vest. Obviously in case there was any trouble. I seriously doubt whether Spike Milligan himself could have written this. The Actual
  10. R.A.O.B.

    Hope to be releasing FULL CHICKEN JACKET this september guys. Will be happy to send copies(signed) to Mick Annie and Caz and anyone else I forgot - its a nicein riot! Cant wait to read it mesen!!!! Bye so, til Ive done and have a great year and dont lose a buncha pals like I did since I left Forest Fields. Cheers! Salut! Salut! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  11. King Billy on the beer

    So if he's such a niceing millionaral entreponcerial genius, what's he doing setting his brats up with the shittiest swiller in Sneinton? Call me cynical if yer must, Den
  12. Deep Shelter on Mansfield Road?

    And caught the first bus to cheshire. nuff said.
  13. Curry houses in Nottm

    From 77-9 we did the C+G FIVE NIGHTS A WEEK every week until I took some tart in sober one night and actually saw the cutlery. Saw the Clifton pisshead face down in the nosh at least four times - fourth being the time when they woke him up and then chased him round the table for money or the food back, but he'd decided to scoff it and drink his lager on the hoof. So then they played the trump card and called the huge chef out to get rid of him and he quickly switched personality chased the terrified chef back into the kitchen. He - Tony - then soon re-emerged and with a stunned look on his face and reported that the chef, Ken and Ab had all legged it out the back and left him to babysit a sixty year old stani who was sitting bollok naked in the sink, rolling a fag and washing his seven foot long hair while the chickens were rinsing away next to him. The law were called but Tony had legged it and waited round the corner until the law had bolloked the staff for wasting their time and buggered off, whereupon he returned to threaten them all again. Sadly, a tasty cousin was now with them and waiting behind the door and sparked him clean out and he lay for the next hour in the gutter, staring in at the door( still unconscious) and as new customers came in, we were able to get constant updates on his status. Naturally, prior to this, we had trained from novices at the New Bengal ( Johnnys) opp the ice stadium, which was without doubt the grim reaper of all curries. Five grades: Korma(puff) vindaloo(novice or puff) madras(youll do for me) ceylon(KIIINELLL! TOP LAD!) and of course SPECIAL CEYLON (mystery, as no-one ever dared go there) all available in veg, meat, chicken, prawn, king prawn. Then ther was the tandoori range(uh? yerwhat? SUMMMARRRER WI YER? A TANDOOOOOREHH? YER CAAAAAANT TEKKKKITT!)Toilet in constant rotational use for the seven of us courtesy of Muss's mum - 48 Hungerhill rd every sunday morning 10-12. An if yer tell kids o today that, thee dont believe yer the ackchul xxxxxxxxx I'm pretty sure that the Golden was originally The Star of India, because it was owned by the dad of a dear mate of mine -Siraj Udin-Houssain and it was actually as thus the first curry house in NOTTINGHAM. Remember guying opposite and the waiters giving us half crown to p1$$ off. To the Hong Kong oppo and up a bit.
  14. Albert Brown !

    Well, fairly easily, really, as he saw more pri**s 'come' and go than the 'KERPLUNK' factory gates; I personally wouldn't have touched his dead gay 4rse over a long-distance telphone even WITH a map of the local tides. In life I'm sure he was a fascinating bloke. In death - putrid via putrefaction. Most GAYS I know wouldn't have dreamed of touching the dead filthy object, either. People amaze me. If they aren't filming coochy coochy health insurance telly adverts with a disgusting sh!t furred cr4p paddled flea warehouse of a cat running over the hinterground kitchen worktops, then they're promoting, selling and deifying people like Freddy Mercury, who by his own admission, didn't give a Damn who he did in the midst of an aids pandemic. Also by the way - by his OWN admission - he didn't care if he got aids! Now, that don't take a long equation to surmise that - errant to this rare brand of cavalier insouciance - he neither cared whom he transmitted it to, either; and he was getting through twenty blokes per week at peak production! What a model philantropist of our age! And yet I can never recall ANYONE pulling up this point. Rest in peace Albert, but - tell you what - I wouldn't wish my dead body on anyone squeamish, either, me old son!
  15. Worro's Wine Bar, Bottle Lane.

    That stuffed Robin rings a loud bell but I can't quite picture you my friend. Yep, I remember those songs too - plus 'Child in Time' was a fave; but you're wrong about the last song. The Nat Anth was his way of clearing us out.