The Actual Shedfixman

Yep; record passes for the 21st year on the trot and yet we're still the thickest nation in europe. This is what happens when schoolteachers try desperately to keep Ofsted smiling for the sake of their own arses. What a load of dummed down crap. One of my wife's pupils got 20 'gcse's - half with 'stars' and she still can't spell 'Bermondsey'. How many people did you meet with TEN O levels back in the seventies? Let's see what happens next year when they have to include maths and English again.

Macfisheries definately on site of Halfords, South Parade. Moss Bros was on Hockley on right as you walk up. John Collier (the window to watch!)was on corner of Friar Lane and became Burtons. Big store on King Street was the previous Jessops location before it moved to Vic Centre(Now J.Lewis) Best thing about Burtons in the Council Buildings was the dapper old Ted who worked in the wines+spirits section - always wore a white stewards jacket and treated and spoke to everyone alike as if they were royalty. I once went in when I was 15 and asked for a bottle of aussie white wine(see Yateses - d

Well, not exactly, Mick - it always only went kinda 'tink-tink' whenever I passed it. Unless I was REALLY late home, then it went'tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink'. Incidently, and now being serious - are you are aware of some massive UFO sighting in Sawley/Draycott during the early or mid 80's? A mate of mine saw the thing and said it was as big as Wembley Stadium - cant be sure on specific years though H

The overpayment collection booth at the Castle Boulevard DHSS also had one of these systems, until it became prone to staff abuse. It was immediately dismantled and removed after a most regrettable incident when the Assistant Chief False Claims Inspector had a fearful accident with it whilst drunk and trying to show off at the 1977 Xmas office party and unwittingly dispatched one of his testicles to the Ilkeston Coop for cross-referencing by Securicor. Another of his colleagues lost his tongue in it the same evening, but he doesn't like to talk about it. Hathers xx

Okay, Stallgions - to celebrate my complete and utter confusion at trying to find my way around this dang new fanglin' whatinternation hoodleydoodley Jesus H. Corbett site formatting; here's a powerful one for yers all, now. In which State of the USA is Dallas, in Texas? No - sorry, just kiddin - that's just a Jim Bowen outtake - here's the dooozley - Where - where? WHERE in Nottingham............. might you be able to see a weather vane which is a Biplane? Uh? Uh? That's got you all, antit? Hathers

You bloody creep, Gregz! Just for that, you can get that soddin chess squad thumbnail resized and posted so's we can ay a proper look. IMSHEE! (Just kiddin Al, we also had one took of me and you in Birmingham too just before the glorious rout, but me ma can't find it. Tek care. Get the photo sorted. You'll find me on facebook under Tom Hathaway, London. Don't be stranger, me old lad!!) Hathers

I KNEW it was you Gregz! Your posts 've got you written all over 'em. Been some 20 yrs since we last met at yer fac on Hucknall Rd - how yer doin, me old mukker?? Hathaway (OI! Tony Parr was a pushover at chess - how did YOU get to board ONE if you only beat him once, yer kissass?)

WOOO!!! NEW SITE FORMAT!!! Could you urry up an get this pic fullsized, as I think I might be in it and I'm suspecting Gregs is?? We were both picked for the Nottm chess side wot STUFFED Birmingham 44-22 in '69/'70 season. Glory days, mi compadres!! The Actual

I sat and watched the Trooping of the Colour yesterday. Attendant of Her Majesty were the 1st Batt Irish Guards, the 1st Batt Scots Guards, the 1st Batt Grenadier Guards, the 1st Batt Coldstream GUARDS, the LifeGUARDS and the 1st Batt Blues and Royals, all toting between them just about every SA80 assault rifle ever made - with fixed bayonets. Then came the Household Cavalry waving around a hundred gleaming sabres, each sharp enough to split a charging rhinocerous clean through the middle, followed by the 1st Batt Royal Horse Artillery drawing a complete battery of 6 inch Howitzers and ultima

Hope to be releasing FULL CHICKEN JACKET this september guys. Will be happy to send copies(signed) to Mick Annie and Caz and anyone else I forgot - its a nicein riot! Cant wait to read it mesen!!!! Bye so, til Ive done and have a great year and dont lose a buncha pals like I did since I left Forest Fields. Cheers! Salut! Salut! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And caught the first bus to cheshire. nuff said.

From 77-9 we did the C+G FIVE NIGHTS A WEEK every week until I took some tart in sober one night and actually saw the cutlery. Saw the Clifton pisshead face down in the nosh at least four times - fourth being the time when they woke him up and then chased him round the table for money or the food back, but he'd decided to scoff it and drink his lager on the hoof. So then they played the trump card and called the huge chef out to get rid of him and he quickly switched personality chased the terrified chef back into the kitchen. He - Tony - then soon re-emerged and with a stunned look on his f

Well, fairly easily, really, as he saw more pri**s 'come' and go than the 'KERPLUNK' factory gates; I personally wouldn't have touched his dead gay 4rse over a long-distance telphone even WITH a map of the local tides. In life I'm sure he was a fascinating bloke. In death - putrid via putrefaction. Most GAYS I know wouldn't have dreamed of touching the dead filthy object, either. People amaze me. If they aren't filming coochy coochy health insurance telly adverts with a disgusting sh!t furred cr4p paddled flea warehouse of a cat running over the hinterground kitchen worktops, then they're pro

That stuffed Robin rings a loud bell but I can't quite picture you my friend. Yep, I remember those songs too - plus 'Child in Time' was a fave; but you're wrong about the last song. The Nat Anth was his way of clearing us out.

Yep - the Germans got broadband - you kidding? They once had the signal shot for trying to cross into Switzerland without permission. PS. WhaddItellyer? They're out massacreing stingrays as we speak!

Is he really dead, or testing something revolutionary out? Apparently, Marcel Marceau died today too, and at noon tomorrow all of france will be observing a minute's racket.

I know she hung around with some bearded low-life who slapped her around regularly. I saw a lot of this, as I served them at the Newshouse in St James St. She also did the menu boards for Pete Mac who was my guvna there in those days. I could never see why she put up with that crap from the piece of sh1t. If any one knows of HIS whereabouts, chirp it up and I'll gladly call on him with a bag of surgical instruments on Christmas day. Dunno where she is, but I fear the worst. She was a lovely girl who deserved better. Piece of coward sh1t.

No duck - he wasn't a faithful razza, on acount of the fact that he ate meat, drank alcohol and came the dickhappy twat on a regular basis. At least though, he managed to sucessfully hide from the world that his dad was welsh. Full Grouchos for that one. Incidentally, Mick, big thanks for making me up to a super Nottstalgian. That means more to me than anything since my eleven plus. Cheers again. The Actual

I say get them gud ode Berni Inns brought back! We could get the Three Cavaliers advert back on the box and Berni Flint could do the showpiece opening at the Seven Mile House - if he's not gone dune like his mentor. Worthington 'E' and Skol in the bar - SODA SYPHONS with comp soda!! "D'yer mind me fingers, sir?" VAT 69 promo on the top shelf; 'been-round-the-block-some' head waitress who fidgets and gazes into the middle distance if you tell her that red wine comes from a vineyard over the sea and a tall tanned bloke in a safari suit with a big nose and a bigger desire to fiddle with its inte

Spot on, Annie. You just always got the overriding feeling that he was dancing with El Diablo every time you clocked his craziness on the box - personally, I always thought it was a question of time. I know blokes in Nottingham who I wouldn't dream of getting near, and as far as I know, sharks (and a ray is a shark) are not only bigger and/or even more deadly, but they're even far less worried about getting nicked for killing you without thinking too much. I don't believe that the bloke - as he comes across - was put through enough common interaction in his formative years which equated him

Irwin brought close-up-in-yer-face dangerous animal study into the homes of the World and he imparted much to the young and/or unlightened of the World of his subject matter. Useful so far. Poignantly however, it was left to a marine individual of his subject matter - who was entitled to peace and quiet and moreover disinterested in being enlightened about Irwin - who taught us all the most important lesson of all about his kind - the vital lesson which Irwin always left out of his televisual masterpieces. And knowing the Aussies, they probably chased and shot and ate the poor fucker afterwa

Bet none of you knew that local 'hero' PC 'Tug' Wilson was sat inside the pretty windows having a 564 ml nightcap while the governor was getting knifed outside? At least the calibre of Nottingham city policing hasn't wavered one iota, eh? Shed

Remember me first houseshare at 26 Birrell Rd when I left home. The typical workday began by gauging the time by the position of the sun across the lino squares of the bathroom because a: I'd smashed the alarm clock up the wall before waking up properly(again) and b: because I thought I was Jimi Hendrix. I would arrive breezy but not bright fifteen minutes late for work at Jessops, where I'd forged an agreement to take my morning break at 10am every day, so's I could nip into the Welbeck on Milton street for a couple of shakebusters. Ham and Dairylea roll in the canteen then back to work unt

Took this the other day it's the White Horse pub and the new student flats Silitoe Court and the sculptor is an old Raleigh bike ! It's great shot of the Horse - let's hope it gets left alone, as it's one of the best tiled Vic boozers left in Nottm. My old man was works convenor for the union there when the film was being made; I wonder if the filmakers took some attitude away with them as well as cans? I recall him telling me that the fave friday neet trick after work was to wait for the tap room to get jiving, then quietly let a bagfull of ball bearings go across the lino floor. Then wa

SozCaz - Hello first! Hello Mick and Den and Toots et al! Not hibernating so much as wokkin hard on the next boook (sequel/prequel to the last pile of crap, but it's a bloody howl - can't wait to find out how it ends!) and trying to get it done for next spring. Sep this time I'm the publisher too, so that's their 80% fecked. Actual