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Everything posted by ilkolad

  1. I reckon Jim's son wants a kick up the @rse for sending you crap like that Herbert.. next time you see him ask him if can send you something more appropriate to your stature, like a rubber bedsheet or a commode!
  2. Ok Herbert.. whatever you say!
  3. The nearest I got to working there was when I went for an interview around the mid 60s at the large house on the corner of Derby road and Lenton Boulevard, needless to say I didn't get the job, probably due to the winkle pickers, spotty face and unhygienic ambience.. I did however later go onto work at the CO-OP bakery department down meadow lane where such things didn't seem to matter.
  4. Yes I agree, it wasn't what he said it was the way he said it.. more of a clown than a comedian. If the truth were known it's probably why Dean Martin made the split - couldn't stand the embarrasment.
  5. Now look here Herbert, if the matron catches you messing on her computer the sh*t's going to hit the fan, my advice is you climb back in bed and be a good lad.. besides, you wouldn't want to miss that nice care assistant with the Thermogene douché and the cupcakes, now would you? ____________________________________________________________________ Ayup.. indeed it is Mr. Lewis, when he appeared on tv last year he looked massively overweight, he's either gone on a diet or not very well.. hope it's the former as used to enjoy his films back in the old 'tanner rush' days at the Globe. along with the likes of Hopalong Cassidy and Lash Laroo.
  6. Thanks for the advice chaps, all of which you suggest is excellent advice and would normally cure the problem, but suspect it goes deeper, as all has been tried, even to the extent of reformatting the hd and a fresh system install to no avail.. I'm actually wondering how long the lifespan of a motherboard and processor are supposed to last, especially when they've been worked overtime and get overheated.. maybe it's time for a system overhaul.
  7. over several weeks my computer has been getting slower and slower, thus I decided to phone the local PC shop seeking advice of what could be the problem, the advice given was that I probably needed more ram.. but after purchasing said item, it now appears I have another problem, inasmuch the blighter keeps eating the carpet and headbutting the furniture, and to top it all, the computer is still running slow! has anybody any other ideas what might be the problem?
  8. I was scootin' through the internet and I came across this guy. you'll probably know who it is, but in this pic he looks kind of different.. not looking bad for his age..
  9. Being old is no excuse for not having a bit of fun.. get yersen down to Wilko's or wherever and purchase a Stanley Knife, a few spare blades,and a screwdriver, then creep out in the middle of the night and slash a few tyres, and put skrawkers on them fancy vehicules the local @rses drive about in, it's bound to get the area abuzz with activity, and if you're accidently spotted, then merely slash yer wrists with the Stanley, it'll at least lay you up in hospital for a few weeks whislt you plan your next mode of attack... or if it all gets a bit too much then simply slash yer throat, it'll make a mess, but you won't have to clean it up cos you'll be in noddyland... sorted!
  10. makes you wonder what kind of music the next generation will look back on.. K-Tel presents - 'These you have loved' featuring Shaggy, Snoop Doggy Dogg, and 50 cents? or maybe Ronco™ with - 'your twenty Tu Pac all time favourites'?
  11. It's actually cowsh@t you smell Robin.. it comes from long periods of wandering around the countryside trying to fathom out where you live!
  12. angi... Probably the size is too large.. the graphic you have chosen is 110x110 try another one with a maximum size of 64x64 and see what happens..
  13. To avoid such instances of which you mention, a true Nottinghamian will only carry the bare essentials, which basically consists of a rolled up newspaper and an umbrella.. and should the unfortunate occurence be that an attempt is made by any local cretin to steal the newspaper, then the umbrella can be merely implanted into the miscreant's forehead, or depending on which way he is facing, could be inserted into regions of which, in all probability would make him squeal!
  14. A few answers.. The death rate in Nottingham of which you mention is probably true, but, it's a thing we've learned to live with, and is afterall what sets it apart from all the other cities, and what makes it so quaint. with regard to employment, It's probably as good as anywhere else in Britain today - dire! The national minimum wage as far as I am aware is £5.05, which, since the hammering of the unions back in the eighties, the vast majority of employers will be paying. if health and safety is your main priority, then working in plastic manufacture should definitely be avoided, as should work in any strenuous occupation that requires effort.. best advice would be to seek employment in the opium dens, or if all else fails, you could always sell the 'Big Issue'. my advice ... stay where you are!
  15. Personally I quite like the humour, providing there's no pornography, plus at times it's the only stuff that keeps the site afloat.. it's surprising how quickly topics pertinent to Nottingham can quickly become exhausted... besides it would be a dull world if this was all we had in common..
  16. Never a truer word was spoken, and what you see is only the half truth.. if we were to get down to the nitty gritty, we all know where the problem lies.. but like true Englishmen we merely lie back and take it up the khyber..
  17. Due to the buildings construction being of what looks like corrugated tin, my guess would be, it's either the offices of Anchor surplus, or HM revenue just prior to the doors being opened, accepting the droves of punters, all eager to impart the names of businesses that aren't paying tax. ??
  18. Watch Edward Fox the audience with his amazing fetes of prestidigitation. and was It the Minnie Driver that made Patricia Brake?
  19. Britney Spears, whilst Brooke Shields. Will Young John Hurt himself? Tom Waits to see! and Bill Gates for all this mess - he can afford it!
  20. George Burns whilst Woody strode across the coals. Jeff Banks on winning, but seldom does. let's have dinner!.. Sam Cook, James Brown the gravy, and Tim Curry the meatballs! and are parishoners roofs really fixed by a Christian Slater?
  21. Axl Rose and William Hurt whilst Jeff Bridges the rift between the two. Vladimir Putin for some extra time, but was refused. Roy Rogers, but then again he always did! Listen to Kurt Russel as Jeremy Irons. watch Nicolas Cage the untamed beast. and exactly who did Alexander Bell ? and the Sting in the tail is, Will Smith ever be able to Pierce Brosnan? - ooer! any more?
  22. Yes, you've got him bang to rights there Pem, it is indeed Will Hutchins. played 'Sugarfoot' in the tv series during the late fifties / early sixties, also appeared with the King in two films, Clambake and Spinout..
  23. This is the latest snapshop of Mr. Hood.. he is currently on his holidays in Majorca, with Randolph his pet pigeon..