Jill Sparrow

Why do you feel the need to influence others? What is your motivation for so doing? Is it because you think you know better than they? Is it because it feeds your ego if and when you succeed? Is it because you want everyone to think as you do? The world would be a wonderful place if everyone saw life through your eyes? People have their own eyes. Please grant others the courtesy of thinking for themselves. Their thoughts, ideas and beliefs are just as valid as yours, you know.

It's going to be a good year for medlars. My tree is covered in blossom.

I have a grapevine but the fruit is neither edible nor drinkable. Just for decoration, really. I suppose the leaves are edible but I've never tried them. When I was a child, my father made some marrow wine under instructions from Emily Ward who lived in Garden Street and could make wine out of most things. I recall it involved a lot of demerara sugar. The wine looked perfectly alright but it made dad ill , along with everyone else who tried it. I wasn't invited. Perhaps it was just as well.

Shrinkflation is, I believe, the term for the malady from which your teacakes are suffering, Plantfit. Who thinks up these banal and annoying terms? Have they nothing better to do? I'll bet they're not as yummy as those Belgian chocolate hot cross buns Tesco were flogging a couple of years ago. Had to keep out of there . Daren't go into Morrison's because I always get accosted by the custard doughnuts. There is only one thing to do, Plantfit. Get em down your neck, pronto.

Your friend is very sensible, Trogg. Parkinson's is not a pleasant condition and, at present, there is neither a cure nor an explanation of what causes it, in most cases. Therefore, as they say, what cannot be cured must be endured. A metaphor for life, really. All things are temporary, thankfully.

Some years ago, I worked with a woman who was a fairly senior manager. Nice enough person but she was obsessed by the possibility of war. Ten times a day she'd be heard asking people, "Do you think there'll be another war?" Worrying about the possibility totally undermined her ability to do her job and resulted in huge amounts of sick leave. She asked me her usual question one morning and I replied, quite honestly, that I didn't know but that if those in charge of the weapons decided to use them, there was nothing either she or I could do about it. This clearly upset her and I ask

I wouldn't want to go back (in time) Loppy. I do enjoy visiting such places, though, even if I didn't particularly appreciate being there as a child. I suppose I can reassure myself that I've done that and survived it.

I don't worry about anything. Worry is pointless. It keeps you awake at night. It raises your blood pressure. It adversely affects your mental health. It, possibly, causes cancer. Worry is no good to anyone, so don't do it. The world is not a fair place. It never has been and it never will be. Is it even meant to be? That bothers a lot of people. However, as I've mentioned before, I don't subscribe to the 'we are only here once' philosophy. I see it as many experiences over many lifetimes. Things even out that way. There are bills to pay and we all pay them. I watch my own actions and my own

In July, we will be visiting Berridge again and it will be 54 years since I left in the summer of 1969. We won't go into what came after that but, last year, when we were doing a question and answer session with the pupils, I felt suddenly compelled to point out to them that although they're only ten years old now, one day they will find that fifty years have passed and they won't have a clue where the time has gone. Neither will it seem odd to walk into their old classroom even though they haven't been there for decades. I doubt they had any idea of what I was talking about. You can't unles

I was amazed to see some of those Vesta cardboard meals the other day but I'm not sure where I was. It might have been Poundstretcher but not certain. It was somewhere I don't normally go. I remember them from the 1960s. It was fun to watch the cardboard noodles spring into life when being cooked but they still tasted like cardboard to me. I had no idea they were still available.

I remember having to go to bed well before it was dark on summer nights in my childhood. I also remember standing on the window sill and seeing the winding wheel of Radford Pit in the distance. I must have been very young then. After tea, usually on Saturdays or Sundays, we'd walk to The Arboretum and, on one occasion, got caught in a terrific thunderstorm. My father was wearing a brand new Harris Tweed jacket which got soaked and was never the same again afterwards. Life was very different in those far off days, which now don't seem so far off.

Are you a friend of Al Gebra?

'Scarface' Mayfield? I'm seeing you in a whole new light.

My word, Ben. You'll be knocking together a shed next. Then, you'll need a budgie to go in it!

I'll bet he never forgets where he's left it!

PP, a friend of mine has had a couple of hernia ops in recent years, both open procedure as the herniae (?) were too large for keyhole. Both were done in daycase and I picked him up afterwards with a bottle of morphine and a pack of cocodamol to bring home. He was in pain but wouldn't take any of the painkillers. He's an obstinate, stiff-necked person but recovered quite quickly and, at his post op review, the surgeon (the excellent Mr Nigam) was astounded to learn that he'd managed without any pain relief for a seven inch incision on both occasions. Take it easy, PP, you'll be fi

I remember one infant teacher opening a desk drawer and tearing off ONE piece of Izal when anyone asked to visit the outside loos at Berridge. Can't fault her for economy.

Now totally unrecognizable?

I cannot get used to this King Charles business. Every time I hear it, I have a mental image of Charles I. Can't get used to all the other changes in titles, either. When I was a child, we had savings stamps, purchased from school once a week. Charles was on some of them and Anne on another. They were only children then, as was I. It's making me feel old.

Have a chat with the lettuces. They are very therapeutic and you'll feel much less tense afterwards. It's the laudanum, you know.

My mother also kept a large raffia shopping bag for vegetable shopping. She bought most of her veggies from Wealthall's on Grimston Road as they were always good quality. Nothing was wrapped up and veggies were tipped into the bag from the weighing scale with the earth still on them. She also saved paper bags for reuse. I hate waste. I try to reuse anything I can and, yes, I am a great make do and mender, always have been. That was the way I was brought up. I'm not going to change now.

Undoubtedly, the most important job you will do today!

It's not that sort of cat, although I'm sure you know that. Cat o nine tails. Excellent punishment for slime balls who swing the other kind!

@Annesley RedYou have my sincere sympathy. I had shingles over Christmas and new year 2010/11. I have never felt pain like it. It was several days before I even realized what it was. I had been under severe stress for the previous two years and my immune system was compromised. The malady took around three weeks to depart but even now, sometimes, I feel as though I've sat in a holly bush where the rash occurred. Hope you make a swift recovery.

Little boys wore bow ties on elastic, usually. The girls would grab the bow, pull it as far from the boy's neck as possible and then let it go. Two things would generally result: the bow snapped back, often hitting the boy in the face or, the elastic snapped! Great fun. My father sometimes wore a bow tie (not the elasticated variety) when I was a child. He had several dark paisley versions. They looked rather smart.