philmayfield

Restrung a Stratocaster.

That was always the problem with trolley buses!

The stories are too long for me to relate out but basically it was ‘My husband won’t be back until Monday’ and the classic one ‘My husband is away on an oil rig’!

I can corroborate the stories about Cooper and Roe. They were clients of the accountants where I worked many years ago. It was always an embarrassing experience to walk through the workrooms full of women. It was the same at Prew Smith Knitwear.

It’s not always the men who are the ‘guilty’ parties on these occasions. I’ve heard horrendous stories from a chap who worked as a sewing machine mechanic in a predominately female environment. A male hairdresser I once knew used to do home visits to style ladies hair. Some of the tales he told were hair raising! I’ve been compromised on a couple of occasions by married women but, as they used to say in the News of the World, ‘I made an excuse and left’.

I agree. Life has become completely silly. People are afraid to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing, even accidentally, and being accused of a hate crime. Why would someone drag up a bottom slapping incident from 2003 unless they wanted to discredit someone? Surely she must bring corroborated evidence before making such a statement. Show us the hand mark on your backside dear.

I think PP is the senior here unless anyone else will admit to being in their 80’s. At least we’re probably the only ones here who didn’t go to Berridge!

Believe it or not BK it’s called ‘Oh no John’.

Just saw your birth date. You're not as old as me!

Thanks. That’s what I meant to say!

Should we just say 'they weren't slow in coming forward'!

Some people just seem to look for offence and take it where none is intended. I now consider a day when I don’t offend someone as a day wasted! I was offended today when the checkout girl in Morrisons called me ‘sweetheart’ as I didn’t fancy her!

You gave her one!

I remember Walter Bell who kept that garage by the 44 terminus. I went to Mellish with his son Allan. They used to live next door but just over the city border in Hucknall. Allan introduced me to a few Bulwell girls who were not quite as ‘refined’ as the ones in Woodthorpe where I lived!

I can beat that Brew. I've not been since 1962.

Your artistic talents far outshine the comprehension of black holes BK.

A Chinaman, slow left arm spin, has been banned by Wisden for being offensive. I don't suppose you can get a Chinky takeaway anymore either. Funnily enough Spellchecker just changed Chinky to Chinese!

I’ve made many inappropriate comments in the past by today’s snowflake standards. Sadly I’ve got nothing to resign from.

Bulwell did have a modicum of culture some years ago when it housed the Henry Mellish grammar school. It became a comprehensive, then a ‘sports college’. It went further downhill and was put into special measures. Sadly the fine building was demolished and the last time I passed by it looked like a bomb site.

Only if I bend over backwards to please you.

I have a womb with a view.

I don’t generally go around insulting people to their face but are we really compelled to like everybody under penalty of prosecution?

Do you drive an electric car?

..... and then there’s the disposal of the box. I usually set fire to these in the back orchard on our bonfire site but you might draw attention to yourselves if you do that in your close!

A man went for a hearing test with a banana stuck in one ear and a sponge cake stuck in the other. They said he was a trifle deaf.