Aussies getting a bit desperate !!

[Beefsteak 305]

Our indigenous brothers down here do the same thing with petrol - it gives them feelings of superiority and great expectations as well.

Bit pathetic really when one realises the feeling does not last forever and leads to permanent brain damage.

I guess that's what all your lot have doing for the last few years then.

[Beefsteak 305]

PS...............................Put that fag out !!!!!

[NewBasfordlad 3,599]

Keep going you two your the best comedy double act since Morecombe & Wise.

[Beefsteak 305]

Or Blackpool and Dim in our case, I'll be Blackpool !!

We could even call ourselves "The Symbolics".......................... Baggy I'm 'Sym'

[StephenFord 866]

Hmmm - the Beefsteak illuminations - that'd be a sight for sore eyes

[Rob.L 1,090]

Don't ask to see his little stick of rock, though.

[Beefsteak 305]

'Taint that little......................................

[Trevor S 2,003]

Don't smoke - so there!

And I am not black either!

'Indigenous brothers' meant the black brethren of Australia and yes, they have, unfortunately, been sniffing petrol for many years now.

An open can, tied around the neck with a long loop; a plastic bottle or other suitable container filled with petrol syphoned out of peoples cars or the dregs out of the bowser pipes or drums and sniffed constantly.

Puts them in a state of euphoria whilst destroying their nasal membranes and brain cells. Would be akin to sniffing glue.

The petrol company BP put an additive in their fuel that eliminated the petrol smell and has worked to some extent. Sad story but true.

[Beefsteak 305]

Methinks the lady gentleman doth protest too much (And besides he knows far too much about it for my liking)

I'll back in time for the next test.

[Trevor S 2,003]

The next Test?

Might as well call it an Exhibition match at the rate our lot are going! The supposed Captain of our XI is not going to play in the 3 day County match because he has a back problem AGAIN.

It is alright for him to say that he can manage it but he is not doing much good on the field. I have said it before and I will say it again - replace him if he is unable to play.

He is on a lucrative contract, together with endorsements, for doing what?

On the roundball scene, your Liverpool gave an example of how the game of football should be played - 2 to Nil.

At least we led you in one thing....a crowd of 95,440 in attendance to watch the Reds - Biggest crowd your lot has ever played in front of - Didn't realise there were so many Scouse supporters in existence. The crowd was a virtual mass of red.

As you say, Beefsteak...the next Test.

[Beefsteak 305]

Biggest crowd your lot has ever played in front of

You can rob me stab me, shoot, me, assault my family, but never, I repeat NEVER ever associate me with that scouse football team.

[Trevor S 2,003]

Well now, here was me thinking that Mr Beefsteak was a worldly gentleman with a penchance for the appreciation of fine sportsmanship; no matter what the origin, discipline or the particular team involved.

Sadly, I must be gravely mistaken.

Now, as I have said on here on more than one occasion, I do not particularly follow the honourable game of roundball football but when the TV broadcast the pictures of the crowd later that night - unbelievable!

A crowd of 95K+ around the entire stadium was like a sea of red, most on their feet, dressed in red and/or waving red flags or scarves and singing the Liverpool anthem, You'll Never Walk Alone was a sight that made the hair on the back of your head stand up - unforgettable!

Check out this link for photographs and particularly the video at the 9.59 mark: http://www.smh.com.au/sport/a-league/live-melbourne-victory-v-liverpool-20130724-2qj26.html

But tell me, Beefsteak, an avid follower of Nottingham Forest like yourself must have some affinity with the colour red,

apart from the colour associated with your embarrassment when we come back at you in the Third Test.

[Trevor S 2,003]

Psssst , Beefsteak - rumours are rife regarding the weather for the Third Test.

It would appear that rain is expected for the entire period?

If that is the case and the match is declared a draw, it would be a hollow victory for England in as much as you get to keep the Ashes

[Beefsteak 305]

A hollow victory? a hollow victory , you say, after we absolutely battered you in the last one, you're in cloud cuckoo land if you even think you had any sort of chance to win the series.

Mind you from the last load of comments you've made , you are in cloud cuckoo land...........................

[Trevor S 2,003]

I was being civil and most polite, Sir!

I have previously acknowledged your wins in the first two Tests with good grace but, if the weather forces a draw in the third, you get to retain the Ashes.

I term that a hollow victory because we would be denied the opportunity of playing and possibly winning the Third Test; thereby keeping the series alive.

And as for your demeaning reference to cuckoo land on more than one occasion, I suggest that you, Sir, are the one that is not in full control of one's faculties.

To even consider that we are not going to overcome our difficulties and continue to fight to get those Ashes back, despite English players not embracing the spirit of the game and biased Umpires favouring the home side; shows a very blinkered outlook on sport and the meaning of that word.

Even your own countrymen can see further than you can!.....http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/23428564

[bazza 71]

Psst Trevor.Don't mention Scousers around Porky because he is shit scared of them.

Baz ......back on line after 3 weeks away.

[Trevor S 2,003]

Welcome back, bazza - been anywhere interesting?

Thanks for the info re scousemania.

[Beefsteak 305]

Of course you're both correct, how stupid of me to forget that at 6 foot 2 and 25 stone , I'm s4it scared of scousers !!

I refuse to be associated with L*******l FC because of the legacy they have created re Hysall and Sheffield.

Everton are fine as are the Liverpool folk in general, it's just the blinkered idiots who still insist it was all somebody elses fault !

I term that a hollow victory because we would be denied the opportunity of playing and possibly winning the Third Test; thereby keeping the series alive.

See, that's the cloud Cuckoo land I was talking about. "Pipe Dreams" is another expression that springs to mind !

[Trevor S 2,003]

Poor Beefsteak.

I initially thought that your ramblings, snide remarks and blinkered approach to sport was that of a man so proud, so engrossed, so obsessed in his nation's sport that nothing else mattered; particularly politeness and civility to your fellow man.

One could be forgiven for such extreme sporting patriotism as there are cures available - shock treatment and total abstinence from the sporting media for starters.

It was amusing to some degree to read of your aspirations for your nation's various sporting disciplines ands I trust that I, in some small way, helped fuel those fervent dreams of yours.

However, it is becoming blatantly obvious that there is much, much more to your ramblings apart from a one eyed view on sport in general.

Not only seriously afflicted by the inhalation of avgas fumes over a long period; causing intense deliriums and thoughts of sporting grandeur on a manic scale BUT, I fear that you have now succumbed to another tragic malady!

Sadly, old boy, you have been on one too many fishing trips where you have been rained on from a great height.

Continued exposure to this natural phenomenon has resulted in the moisture penetrating the roof top and collecting in your attic, culminating in the unfortunate condition of WATER ON THE BRAIN.

You can get instant relief for water on the brain: -

A Tap On The Head

ps. What is the weather forecast for Thursday, mate?

[Beefsteak 305]

Dunno , but I've got a brolly !

[NewBasfordlad 3,599]

Glad to see the comics are back, best laugh of the week you lot.

[sussexred 25]

DRS not working. Should leave it to the on-field umpires.

[Beefsteak 305]

I'm waiting !!

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/cow-corner/time-australia-final-solution-drs-problem-145219309.html

Bet he didn't see where Smith was clearly 'dismissed' later on though !!

[Trevor S 2,003]

Good Morning Beefsteak

Settled down on the lounge with a good scotch and watched the game from the start. We won the toss (good) and elected to bat (good). Rogers scoring virtually a run a ball (excellent). Watson playing like someone who's heart is elsewhere (spoilt child and I don't like Clarke) and it was no surprise to see him go.

Khawaja was never at ease and destined to go, even though it was another pathetic excuse of umpiring..................the radio commentators were scathing in their opinions of the umpires and the DRS.

What happened next.....I fell asleep (had a hard day!). Woke this morning to the score of 3 - 303 (really good).

Never heard/saw the comments by Warne or that fool that we have for a PM, Kevin 'Bloody' Rudd. Rudd is doing everything he can at the moment to get his big head in the news - he is about to announce an election date and is out for all the brownie points that he can get...bloody idiot! At the same time, he is about to slap a 0.05% levy on bank deposits, put cigarette tax up 60% and similar high taxes on beers and spirits. All to get us out of the deep black hole that he and his government have put us in in the first place!!!!

Anyhow, back to more important things in life-

We have made a fairly good start and provided we don't all go belly up in quick succession like we normally do, should get a decent score (500? - can but dream!).

That should fire the natives up no end down here in Oz but on a wicket like Old Trafford, your lot are going to get just as much benefit out of the flat wicket as we are doing. This match could be played out to a draw (bad) if the weather does not intervene - either way, your lot retain the Ashes (really f$*^$@# bad).

Thought I would attach this item containing the views on DRS and umpiring by one of the most talented and honest batsmen to play for England. Even your current bowler, Bresnan, has voiced similar views.

What will the second day bring?????????????

Geoffrey Boycott Ex-England batsman & Test Match Special summariser

"There is no excuse for the third umpire.

"Someone needs to take these umpires to one side and teach them how to work television to their advantage to get the correct decisions for their benefit.

"It was human error - the third umpire should have overturned that. He blatantly missed it. You can't blame technology for human error."

[Paulus 541]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOerh!!