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Australia: 3 - England: Zilch, Nil, Nought, Bugger all. The ODI is now home and hosed with our lot winning that series as well with still 2 more matches to play.

I hear Captain Cook is going to get 'rested'. Bit of a shame really because he probably can play cricket as well as the next man if given the opportunity.

Your lot may as well forget the 3 20/20 fixtures coming up, go home now and get their house in order (like we had to) before the World Cup and the next Ashes Tour over there.

We will get some practice in with South Africa in the meantime before the Super Eights.

Choking yet, Beefsteak???? :rotfl:

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Walked past Harold Larwood and Bill Voce in Kirkby this morning......couldnt bring mesen to tell em the score......just got a coffee from Subway and sat and drunk it down at 'Long Off''...........

"Trevor S, wherever in the world that I've been staying, I've always been an Englishman from Nottingham. That's why I can't understand how you can put Australia before England. I realise that you've m

Australian Love Poem Of course I love ya darlin You're a bloody top-notch bird And when I say you're gorgeous I mean every single word So ya bum is on the big side I don't mind a bit of fl

  • 7 years later...

Sadly it looks like England have sent their normal test team out here again for the Ashes.

All out for 147 with yet another pathetic batting performance. Batsmen that look as though they are playing in concrete boots and can't move their feet, dangling the bat and wafting at balls outside the off stump and absolutely no idea of the height of balls coming at them and playing at balls that are a foot above the bails.

Quick bowlers that appear not to understand the concept of making the batsmen play at the ball by bowling at the stumps.

Australia are now, 147 for one wicket it is going to be a long day so we can only pray for rain to save England from a first test embarrassment. 

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After a good day yesterday with Joe Root and Dawid Malan holding off the Aussie attack and both scoring in the eighties, England turn up today and play collapso cricket losing 8 wickets for 74 runs leaving Australia just 20 runs to win. At least it was not an innings defeat.

 

In summary :-

Can't Bat

Can't Bowl

Can't field

Otherwise not a bad team

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Here we go again, one early wicket and now the Aussies are looking very comfortable against a rather pedestrian English five bowler? pace attack.

The whole of the English cricket system, including the English Cricket Board, the selectors, the management and advisers, the coaches and lastly the players need putting in a bag and giving a good shake up. If this is the best team England can put out for an ashes test match series then English Cricket is in a sorry state. Joe Root looks out of his depth as a captain and to go into a test in Adelaide with no specialist spinner is unforgivable. There is no spark on the field and most of them look disinterested. There are better young English players going around in our T20 competition, draft them into the test team immediately.

A local colliery cricket team would at least go out with some pride and fight unlike this shambles of an outfit who look as they are again going to get penalised for a slow over rate. It is a day/night test and the temperature tomorrow is forecast to be 37 so fully expecting another slow long hard day in the field as I cannot see this bowing outfit dismiss Australia.

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How about this for a balanced bowling attack OZ ?

Fast openers.......Tyson.....Statham...

Leg spinner..........Tony Lock

Off spinner...........Jim Laker

With back up Medium Pacer all rounder Trevor Bailey.....

That would get the Aussies worried.........

Or even me Dad ..under arm Spinner beyond compare......lol.

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Ben, What about Fiery Fred Truman?

Who would you have as captain?

All we have to do is shout down the shaft of one of the local collieries and up will come a world class fast bowler.

Oops! I forgot, we don't have pits any more do we.

Still watching but it is painful, Australia are doing it easily. Warner has just got out on 95, Labuschagne looks very comfortable on 70. Australia 2 for 176

This English bowling attack would struggle against Bentinck Colliery reserves. Some of those lads would put them into the pit sidings.

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Captain....Ray Illingworth......

Fiery Fred.....great bowler......almost from Notts........only 300 yards away......not a lot of people know that..........

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I did not know that.

End of play for today 2 for 221 Labushagne not out just short of his 100.

According to the statisticians 95% of the balls bowled by England would not have hit the stumps???

WTF is the captain and the coaches doing they were bowing way too short.... again.

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The most consistently accurate bowler i ever saw was Brian Statham.(Lancashire).......every ball in line and a good length.....the perfect foil for the fiery wildness of Tyson and Trueman........

            Another bowler i always enjoyed was Johnny Wardle.....a great spinner and another Yorkshireman.........i was Cricket mad from being about five....and could name all the England and Aussie players of the day........always thought Yorkshire started just beyond Bestwood village..hence my love for the county......lol

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Hi Oztalgian    Maybe the team should go back and pratice 

Venue   Tichfield Park   ?

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1 hour ago, mary1947 said:

Maybe the team should go back and pratice 

They certainly need some practice and leadership. I have never seen such a lacklustre fielding effort. It was 38 deg, 100 in the old money but a wicket keeper that didn't encourage his bowlers and fielders and a captain that wandered around like a stunned mullet is not what they need. Already one wicket down for 12 runs. Still haven't grasped the concept that you don't have to play at a ball that is 18 inches above the stumps.

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Walked past Harold Larwood and Bill Voce in Kirkby this morning......couldnt bring mesen to tell em the score......just got a coffee from Subway and sat and drunk it down at 'Long Off''...........

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Another good stand from Root and Malan but with Root out for 62 and Malan shortly afterwards for 80, collapso cricket takes over again. Pope out for 5 and Buttler who is having a shocker of a test out for a duck I am afraid I can feel another innings defeat coming up as at tea England trail by 276 and only have 4 wickets in hand.

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11 hours ago, Cliff Ton said:

Replace Aussies with Brits ?

Yes but Poms!

If the team was getting a bit desperate on the field I would have a bit of sympathy for them but they look disinterested as though the whole thing is beneath them.

Bring back Boycott, make them earn their wickets, not give them away.

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Boycott

Broad

Barrington

Cowdery

Grieg

Bailey

Knott

Lock

Laker

Trueman

Statham

 

Ey Oz...........imagine this team rolling over...without a fight ?....Add to them Illingworth and Close......what a team...

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Great team that one Ben. I'd think about including another great Yorkshireman Brian Close as captain. Captained England seven times for six wins and a draw. He was not frightened by intimidatory pace bowling.

What about William Sampson, The Wolf of Kabul with his Clicky Ba from the Hotspur comic to crack a few heads. 

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Sorry Beekay, watching the Boxing Day test match from the MCG in Melbourne and the start of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race with a few beers, wine or spirits is a Christmas tradition in OZ so i'll have to suffer a bit longer.

Don't think we've got a Monopoly set any more so will have to do with a game of Squatter in the evening.

Squatter (game) - Wikipedia

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After a half decent bowling effort and getting Australia all out for 267 England have come out in their concrete wellies again. At the close of play England are 31 for 4, still 51 runs behind so an innings defeat is still not out of the equation.

Joe Root has been batting well but needs lessons in captaincy.

Haseeb Hameed fails again and looks as if he would be more comfortable as a garden gnome sitting fishing near someone's pond than an opening batsmen.

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