DAVIDW 1,674 Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Colly should have gone to Aldi for your mint imperials ........only 59p ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted May 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 Take jesus to the pub with you, have a glass of free tap water then get jesus to turn it into wine.. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted May 14, 2016 Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 If I take the missus, she makes me "WHINE" . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted June 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 Attach giant magnet to the front of your car, this will be attracted to the car/bus/lorry in front so you can coast in neutral, however keep your engine ticking over to keep brakes, brake lights & power steering working correctly. See how safety minded I am with the engine on tip.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 This is true... My ex girlfriend would only put Esso petrol in her car, she'd drives miles out of her way for Esso, no other make would do. When I used it I stuck the cheapest in & lied that I'd put Esso in, she never noticed. Best thing is it was only an old banger.. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 Maybe your ex was fond of tigers Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulus 541 Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 #105, which was the banger, car or ex? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 I suppose you could say both thinking back, must admit I did go a with some, err - how shall I put it? Munter or 2, lol. Mind you also had some lookers, managed to marry one of them before she got away.. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DJ360 6,711 Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 From that repository of wisdom 'Viz' magazine. 'Do not waste money on expensive telephoto lenses. Stand closer to your subject.' 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 My wife worked in a newsagent a few years ago, I'd go & read all the papers/mags (including VIZ) for nowt while she was on duty.. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 If you've got 2 dogs cut their treats in half, they won't notice & you save a bob or 2.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blondie 1,392 Posted August 4, 2016 Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 I cut my hubby's treats in half............ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 4, 2016 Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 Herself does that Blondie..I get 15 minutes...twice a year!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mary1947 2,071 Posted August 4, 2016 Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 We had a friend who would only take his car out at night as he would never pay his road tax. The only place he used to go though was to the pub arrived 10 25 it was the time when pubs use to close at 10 30. He would my his wife take the bus. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted August 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 I can't be a skinflint in August as most bills seem to come this month, got car & house insurance, car tax, Car service & MOT just done, TV licence & usual gas/electric & council tax DD's. I think I'm going to cry.. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blondie 1,392 Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 Never mind Colly, we will all have a whip round for you........Xxx 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blondie 1,392 Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 Herself does that Blondie..I get 15 minutes...twice a year!! Must be doing wrong........... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blondie 1,392 Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 Some people who are known as skinflints are usually just cautious.......My cousin married a guy, he worked very hard when he left school to get on......He came from a large family, lived in a small slum dwelling where he shared a bedroom with his 4 sisters, they were really poor...........When they married, in 1960, they had a brand new house, he did all the DIY himself........My cousin was not allowed new clothes until the old ones had worn out and the same with the furnishings etc, budget his money down to the last penny, hardly ever gave her money, everybody called him and felt sorry for her, it was a materialistic time..........He was called a skinflint, but actually was only being careful with his money, he knew what it was like to be poor and had no intentions of being poor again.........My cousin had no idea how much money he earned or had until he died, now she is living in clover, thanks to him being a skinflint......... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
alisoncc 379 Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 Down here, Oz, local councils do a "large item" collection once a year. That's old beds, fridges, stoves, etc. which you are required to put out on the verge a few days before. Back in 2002 I had just relocated from Hobart to Sydney, and had been using a local laundrette as I was a bit short and didn't have the cash to buy a washing machine. Returning from work one evening I spotted a washing machine on the verge close to my unit. Quick look over, couldn't see anything of any consequence so had a neighbour help me to shift it into my garage. The next weekend I hooked up a hose to the garden taps and plugged it in. It was a top loader so was able to work it through it's cycles. The only thing that didn't work was spin cycle which wouldn't start up. I knew on many machines there is a micro switch which prevents it spinning when the lid is up. I powered off and lifted the lid, feeling around for the adjustment on the micro switch. Turned the knurled nut until I could hear it clicking when I lowered the lid. Powered it up and the spin cycle started. This was fourteen years ago, and it still runs perfectly - every week. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted August 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2016 When I lived in Bestwood Village the lady next door but one was moving to Glasgow & was going to dump her old dishwasher, I said "can I have it?" She said "yes but not used for years!" Plumbed it in & it worked perfect for 11 years before going 'PHUT!' I said to SWMBO "we'll not bother with a new dishwasher, we'll hand wash the pots!" This lasted about a week before we got fed up & bought a new one. You can guess who usually ended up washing the pots can't you? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Borrow your mates hair cutters but don't cut your hair. When you give them back he'll notice your uncut hair & assume you used them to cut your pubes, he'll then say "err, you can keep them!" Result =Â free hair cutters. Repeat & start a hair cutter stall on Bulwell market & become rich.. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 Be naughty all year, Santa will give you coal at Christmas instead of presents, flog coal to coal merchants, become rich & tell Santa to Bu**er off... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,267 Posted October 5, 2016 Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 #123  I'd be happy to have coal for Christmas, as long as its the smokeless variety!  Not that I'm naughty all year...just now and then! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfan 14,793 Posted October 8, 2016 Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 If ever feeling a bit peckish when in town & you are a bit of a chocoholic in need of a fix then look for a Thornton's shop. Inside on the counter you will find a tray of free samples. ! Pretend to be looking around & when the assistant turns around then take a handful of free samples. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,267 Posted October 8, 2016 Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 Too sickly for me but my mother would have scoffed the lot and probably the box as well! She's in chocolate heaven now...well there'll be some complaints if there isn't any! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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