Guest Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Merry Mixed Metaphors!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeverilPeril 3,279 Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Bring back Chuck Berry Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,427 Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Maybe have to tilt the house a bit? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Booth 7,364 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 I've just read this topic for the first time and I've not stopped laughing at all the comments. I should have stopped laughing by now and it's started the alarm bells ringing. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Enigma. 1,533 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday. At least, I think it was five minutes 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
radfordred 6,284 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Drunk walks into a jewelers with his old man hanging out, bloke on counter "Sorry Sir this is a clock shop not a cock shop" Drunk "I know put two hands on this" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeverilPeril 3,279 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Neddy Seagoon always knew the correct time because he had written it down on a piece of paper 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Smiffy49 590 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Is this thread a wind up? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
woody 552 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 One elderly neighbour rang me a couple of weeks back and said someone had been in her house and altered all the clocks. Puzzled as to why anybody would do this I went round to check what was going on. All the clocks were right, it turned out she had pressed the button on the tv remote twice and was watching the channel one hour later. When I finished headbutting the wall I asked myself why it is always me that finds the crackpots, or, more to the point, how they find me. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
katyjay 5,090 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Birds of a feather............... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,304 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 #34 A friend of mine has a similarly dotty neighbour who lives in a cottage across the road. She dragged him out one morning to free the bird who was trapped in her cottage. She could hear it chirping all night long but couldn't locate it. Turned out her smoke alarm was 'dying' due to needing new batteries! No birds involved, except a dotty old hen who couldn't tell the difference! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
woody 552 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Glad to hear I'm not the only one who finds 'em. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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