Pixie 162 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Tell me, is it what happens when you finally grow up and have children of your own? It seems now we wake up, my partner will take our eldest to school and go to work. I'll have breakfast, get baby sorted, do housework, go to the shops and then collect eldest. Come home, do lunch, clean again, play for abit, tidy... Then dinner time rolls around and it's cook, tidy, eldest goes to bed and were both tidying, washing up, washing and sterilizing bottles and I can almost bet that every evening well be sat down with a tea watching tv by half 9. By 10 I'm usually fast off! Me and my other half were just talking about it, we both said is this it? We can't only be the ones with the most boring routine? Although, it's boring, I do love it in a strange sort of way! but I also can't wait to get a break, get out. we've not been oout in almost two years! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Booth 7,364 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 The reward is watching your children develop their own characters and look into your eyes with a big loving smile on their face, Pixie. It's important not to feel that you're in a rut with the routine of bringing up a family. Is it not possible to get a family member to look after your children one evening, even if it's only for a couple of hours? If this is not possible then why not invite your friends round for a chinwag. It won't be the most exciting thing you've done but it will break the routine and give you and your husband something different to talk about. Once the baby gets a little older and you are playing with them in the garden or on the park you'll think how lucky you are to be blessed with a wonderful husband, home and family. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,102 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 You have just described a perfectly normal family relationship Pixie 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StephenFord 866 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Pixie, in a few years you'll just wish it hadn't all gone so fast. Do enjoy the kids while you've got them - they will be grown up and away in no time at all. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BilboroughShirley 1,119 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Hi Pixie. I remember the time when our son was very young and sometimes life seemed like a round of work, housework and driving. On one occasion he came home and said his piano teacher had asked him to ask me to get him the next piano book. He said he told her "mum is always busy and she will not have time". After he had gone to bed I was in tears. The next day I was out of work as fast as possible at the end of the day, picked him up and drove to the music shop. Sorted! When I felt under pressure I would remember what happened that day and it helped me put things into perspective. It was effort well spent as now he is a professional musician. We still make time for that important quality family time. You have lots to look forward to. Enjoy! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,735 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 As Michael says Pixie, once you have adjusted to your new baby in the family, and particularly when she is older you can plan family days out. When ours were young one of our favourite days out was to the grounds of one of the castles near Aberdeen, while we were living there. Entrance to the grounds was free and we used to take a picnic and a game of boules. We used to have a great time. In time, when your children are older you will be busy taking them to various activities, and going to watch them doing stuff at school. Over time your values change, and no you won't get out quite as much as a couple, but when you do they are extra special moments. And you can always plan some at home entertainment for when the children are in bed. Either have friends round or even a romantic dinner for two...get the candles and wine out and dress up as if you were going out. Eventually the children will grow up and lead their own lives....all too soon you will be a couple again, and with the experiences gained along lifes path you will rediscover your social life. It will be different to your youthful one, but it will be just as much fun. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Braddy 160 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Pixie every one gets into a routine and it's gets boring at times but then you get lots of great times and when they grow up and move out you will miss them, then who knows you may have grandkids coming along and even better times. I should know i have nine grandchildren. Enjoy. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Hey pixie , at half nine i used to say "war is over for another day!" 21 years later its still crazy here. Even though my two sons are like Tug wilsons and my Daughter is in 'teenage'mode i tell 'em i love them and still hug 'em - enjoy it doesnt last long!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ayupmeducks 1,728 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 I'm not tied to kids, but I pick and choose what I want to do during the day, at the moment it's getting fire wood ready for winter, rough mowing my land, in fact I've enough work to keep me busy for the next century...LOL When I was with the ex, we had two kids, my life revolved around work, nobody's indispensible, but you wouldn't have thought that with my employers, working shifts back then, I didn't see much of the kids. But I liked my work, and it was never boring. Sadly, the shifts, working six days a week, all the overtime, put an end to that marriage. The kids are grown up and have families of their own. No never bored, always something to do, the trick of not getting bored is to alter your routine, take on a hobby that fits in with your lifestyle. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheTramp 139 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Pixie; you are doing nothing wrong, just do a bit less and do it slowly, it's routine but never see it as boring - that will wear you both down. Get a blowup paddle pool outside on a warm afternn, chuck the kids in and you two get soaked! And find a few quid for a cheap caravan near the beach. Actually you have been out during the last two years but taking care of children whilst you did it means you didn't realise so. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pixie 162 Posted May 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Don't get me wrong, I love it! There's nothing more precious than bringing up children. we do things in the day - paddling pool when its hot, lunch in the garden, lots of arts and crafts, silly games, days out at the weekend. It's just when I wake up in the morning, I already know how my day is going to go and our evenings. Friends are always busy with work or their children, I have one friend who also has two kids, we rarely see each other but when we do we go for some drinks or bingo. Our routine may be boring at times, but I'm sure I'd be lost without it! Even on holidays it takes a day or two to adjust. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,394 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 After our three children had finally left home (and/or didn't want to come on holidays with us any more) we went on our first holiday by ourselves and found it quite difficult. All our married life had revolved round the children and what THEY would like to do, so when my husband asked me what I would like to do, I HAD NO IDEA! We had the children very early in our marriage - 3 in less than 3 and a half years - so didn't really know married life without them. After I'd got my head round the fact that it was just him and me, we began to work out what WE wanted to do and now I love it being that way. Our daily routine these days is fairly predictable but that's the way I like it! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 I think the acid test about life's routines is ask yourself whether you would do it again and if not, how would you change it? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
banjo48 925 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Pixie I can relate to your family situation, we brought up 5 kids, including twin girls. My first born, our son, I hardly knew as I was always working 7 days a week trying to get ahead and pay the mortgage etc. we are still not close because of this, one of my big regrets. I was lucky my wife was a rock and with the help of my mum doing a bit of child minding, also managed to pursue a job part time. We now look back and blink and think where did it all go, but our kids have all flown the nest we have a heap of grandkids, and are lucky enough now to follow our dreams and live our lives. It was hard at times, we had our ups and downs, but we got through it, the good times and the bad, the boring and mundane, that's just life. We travel full time at the moment and have done for 3 1/2 years, we live well and all the hard work has paid off, we are not rich but we can enjoy our lives and freedom now, that we never had bringing up our tribe. Just look at your current life, as setting the foundation for the later parts of your life. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfan 14,782 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Consider yourself very lucky Pixie ! Women of yesteryear usually had 6 or more kids, no contraception in them days. No modern labour saving devices, most work done by hand, no vacuum cleaners & no running hot water, to name a few. Clothes washing must have been an absolute nightmare for them. Having said that Pixie, THEY WERE THE BAD OLD DAYS. Good luck to you ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,106 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Life is what you make it, so enjoy the kids. It won't last for ever. Bringing up offspring is just one small piece in the jigsaw that is life. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Graham 63 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Having a family is never boring. Putting yourself as No 1 ahead of everyone else in the family is Boring ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trevor S 2,002 Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 Make the most of your time with your children, Pixie, and enjoy every moment. Before you realise it, they will be grown up and, just like the falcons we watch hatch and fledge every year, they will have left the nest to make their own lives. Then you can sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet for a time until they bring their own young children to visit you (nappies, screams, tantrums) but the best part of that is that they go home again!!! Spoken with the experience of raising two boys and a girl. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
banjo48 925 Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 Talking of kids and families, one of the most satisfying things for us is when we venture back to Perth WA, where most of our kids and grandkids live, we go out for a family get together meal or whatever, and there must be 18 or so of us now, and I think Wow ! we started all this all those years ago. When all the grandkids rush up to fight to give us a big hug after not seeing us for a while is an amazing feeling inside. My wife's elder brother and his wife are childless (not by choice) and I feel so sorry for them and what joys they have missed, and as they grow older they have no one, only each other, a house and a flash car, to show for their lives. I know they would give anything to have what you or I have Pixie, including your boring routines. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pixie 162 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 I wouldn't say family life is boring, far from it. But the whole doing everything at the same time, every day being predictable is the boring part. Bringing up the children is a blessing, and trust me, I feel extremely lucky to have them each and every day, even if my eldest is currently acting like the spawn of the devil but we are trying with her, but at her age she's had alot of changes to deal with this year - starting preschool, a new baby sister, tired parents when she was used to us being full of energy. I just wondered if it was the same for all families, the predictable days etc or if it was a habit Wed just gotten our selves into. To break it up a little, we've decided to go on a long weekend together while the kids stay with grandparents, although I feel guilty and a little selfish for it, I'm welcoming the break even if it's only for two days! - I can't wait for an alcoholic beverage and to nosey around some shops without having to turn around and ask someone to behave or be nice 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfan 14,782 Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 Nothing wrong with a free weekend without the kids ! Enjoy yersens. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Smiffy49 590 Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 I often wish I could return to some of those days and enjoy those moments, now long gone... Count the days ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Booth 7,364 Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 They say that our children grow up and fly the nest. I don't think that anyone told my children...lol. My youngest son, who, at the moment, is living in Oxfordshire, was giving a lecture in Bicester on Friday and after it had finished he decided to spend the weekend at my home. He phoned his son, who is at Uni in Nottingham, and he's also spending the weekend at my home. Two of my grandaughters (sisters) phoned on Saturday to say they were coming to visit us but I had to tell one of them that she couldn't come because she had a cold. We couldn't risk my wife getting an infection due to her cancer. My eldest son and his son also came to my house on Saturday. My son spent a couple of hours with us and then went to a friends BBQ in Long Eaton. His son is 6' 7" so I got him to cut the high hedges, haha. All my close family live in Nottingham except my youngest son and his daughter who is at Uni up North. We are a very close, loving family and are always seeing each other so life with my family is never boring, far from it. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 Lovely heart warming post Micheal!- does that tall fella fancy a holiday in Tipperary??? ( lol ) have you a short relation- he could do the weeding!!- take care. Ian. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfan 14,782 Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 My son who is 41 years old & good as gold too. BUT I only get a visit or a phone call when he wants something ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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