Over and Out...

[MissingMotown 8]

A few weeks ago I posted a little rant about the Arboretum - because I care about it - and just asking if anyone had any ideas. In reply I got:

- told I didn't care about it when I didn't log on for 2 weeks (didn't know that was a requirement of the forum)

- told to calm down

- told the person who told me off was a "nice person" and I shouldn't be rude to her (errrr.. pot/kettle?)

- told off for introducing homophobic comments - that person should go back and read the thread, it certainly wasn't me, it was a sidetrack from my conversation

...etc.etc.

(You'll notice I haven't sunk to those members' level of personal attack)

So well done everyone, that's me done with your forums, where you can be attacked anonymously for posting a harmless, concerned comment. Health-wise I don't need this.

Enjoy dissing me now I'm logging off ... some of you seem to be experts

[Guest]

Very sad MM,I thought you might stay..I hope you are recovering.

[Trevor S 2,003]

[SPIKEISLAND9 46]

A good final post MissingMotown, dignified and factual.

Myself, an intermittent poster would like the time to post more, but have spells when I am just too busy. It did appear rather harsh to point out to a newcomer that a fortnight had passed between posts. Intermittent or seldom posters don`t come on and comment that just a small handful of regular posters are unbelievably prolific.

To highlight the fact that the o.p. had wandered off topic, again didn`t seem necessary. A few of the replies to the o.p. were off topic, one making the point that it was indeed a common thing on this site, which I know I`ve done myself before.

I`ve no wish to stoke things up or take sides, I feel entirely neutral and quoting what I believe to be facts.

Part of my schooling was in the old Art College building at the Waverley St. corner of the Arboretum and some of the rooms we used overlooked the `Arbo.` We spent many dinner hours wandering around it and even in 1954/55 we used to be offered ten bob by a scabby faced bloke that frequented the `quieter` N. Sherwood St. end. No imagination, a simple fact.

As was the fact that the Nottm. Eve. Post, at the time openly reported the results of council meetings that decided that the public toilets at Canning Circus were to be closed because of inappropriate use by certain members of society. As were the toilets at Wilk. St., and the Toll Br.

No getting at any one or group, no opinions involved, just reporting why we have very few public toilets now.

[Guest]

Eloquently put Spike,i am concerned about Motown being very upset.I did offer some advice to solutions regarding a great place of relaxation. Sometimes we flitter off subject..human nature..what is typed out..is often too hemmed in and the poster has only a limited way of furthering his comment..it doesn't flow like speech..from the age of 5 my Mother tutored me on toilets, flashers and Touchers.Michael explained in a good way a simple misunderstanding, and the close banter and innocent sarcasm that abounds.. is often misconstrued. To be honest I thought the advertising of a car space so soon 'in' was a tad bold if not expectant.Just my opine..others and rightly so will differ.Ian.

[catfan 14,793]

Ayup Mowtown, don't go !

We really don't bite, honest.

[Cliff Ton 10,466]

I can understand why MissingMotown has come to his conclusion, although I also think it's a wrong decision. The problem is that this forum reflects real life .

Everywhere you go you encounter some people who you don't like or agree with. In most cases you can ignore them or work around them. There are people who p*** you off; there are people who can wind you up just by saying a few words. Just bypass them and move on to the ones you get on with and agree with. You sometimes find yourself the only sane one in a room full of idiots. Just reassure yourself you are right and all the others are wrong.

Just like Nottstalgia.

[catfan 14,793]

How true that is Cliff Ton !

[catfan 14,793]

I don't agree Fynger, there is an excellent mix of nostalgia & normal everyday life posts on here, sometimes it is quite interesting to read other member's views on certain subjects, whether we agree with them or not.

[plantfit 7,597]

Well I agree with Kev on this one, however as a Nottingham lad born and bred I was always taught to be honest with folk and speak my mind but at the same time have respect for other peoples opinions and views, I 'm sure there is no malicous intentions in anyone posts on this forum and certainly no deliberate posts to hurt or upset anyone just the way us Notts folk are,

Rog

[DJBrenton 738]

The more often this happens to you, the more likely it is the other way round

#7 You sometimes find yourself the only sane one in a room full of idiots. Just reassure yourself you are right and all the others are wrong.

[mick2me 3,033]

Would be interested to see the abusive posts in question?

And to know why they had not been reported? (any member can report such posts even if they don't concern themselves)

We have in the past, after warnings over abusive or inflammatory posts , banned members, or permanently removed their ability to post here.

Our board is not unique in this respect.

What I would say to the OP, is that if you look around this board you will see a large number of people who will appreciate posts in the spirit and purpose of the board.

[DJBrenton 738]

I don't think anyone has said there was an abusive post. There was a post pointing out that the OP hadn't followed up on their thread for 2 weeks that probably came over as more critical than was intended plus the usual straying from the topic to some degree. As a newcomer I can see how it appeared less than welcoming whilst to the rest it was just business as usual.

[Guest]

I saw Motown's post late last night,and honestly felt saddened,to 'scotch' Facebook claims,I feel new members are vital as they share their memories and life's experiences.. which in return creates more threads.I met Albert the other week..great smile..and he shared some of his steam stories..great!! I want to hear more!! I am only 54(soon) and my story is limited, but I do try and evolve Nottm themed posts..but you can't force it! To be truthful, I would prefer to read about Vic Station than children in need!!but I go with what's on the menu...sometimes..I've had my scrapes on here and I never dismiss what peoples lives are like when the front door is closed!! I thouroghly enjoy peoples life stories and urge members to come forward..if so desired..maybe missings departure will make us think..,Nottstalgians???

[Cliff Ton 10,466]

Who hasn't found themselves in this situation at some time - You say (in a post) something which you intend in a certain way, and to your amazement you find that someone has interpreted it in a completely different way which you never dreamed of.

You thought you were being amusing or ironic; someone took it as an argument or an insult. If you worried every time that happened, you'd never touch a keyboard again.

[mick2me 3,033]

I, sadly, but happily am not able to read all posts here, as I could a few years ago, due to volume of posts.

I tend to pick up on certain threads and come back to them to read replies. Generally other staff pick up on posts that may escalate into arguments.

We do get 'single posters' who posts a question which attracts replies, but either do not return for a period of time, reads but does not acknowledge replies, or never returns. This may lead to frustration by those who took the time to reply. What these members must remember is that their replies are read by many visitors who may pose the same question in a Google search. We will never know how many people are educated by the knowledge of our members.

But what we do know from our logs is that we are visited by major companies, educational establishment, and government agencies in the UK and across the world. I dont think they are coming to view our carefully made Nottstalgia Meetup arrangements.

[tomlinson 879]

Nottstalgia today - Tomorrow THE WORLD!!!

[FLY2 10,108]

I've again re read everything and there's absolutely nothing on here that is abusive towards MM.

It maybe that some folk are overly sensitive, or not in tune with the normal banter.

As I've stated several times previously, anyone on here who doesn't like the way things are going, then just get out, it's so simple.

[BeestonMick 263]

This is the only " forum " that I see this sort of stuff on....t'others generally stick to the subject as it is a mine of information on the subject they are searching

Indeed, I worked on the phpBB forums on technical support and they wouldn't allow ANY off topic whatever, people posting in the wrong forums or people deciding to chat about the weather after they received the support they needed and, I have to say, I agree with it. This board is slightly different, there are many many subjects that can be discussed to do with Nottingham, it's not like a support board where there is only one common product.

[FLY2 10,108]

I used to be an avid member of the official Rory Gallagher forum, and got to know a great chap in Pennsylvania, and a Scottish chap in Munich. We'd all discuss football, drink, everything that is discussed here. However when a tunnel visioned moderator took over, it all ceased and only Rory subjects were allowed to be discussed.

I informed him that as much as I admired everything Rory, the world didn't exactly revolve around him.

I'm not now a member needless to say.

[loppylugs 8,429]

I have arrived on this thread late. I am sorry MM felt badly about their experience here, and hope they will give us a fair hearing. My other obsevation concerns the comment that NS is becoming more like Facebook. I can't comment much on that. I do not have, neither do I want a FB account. There would seem to be a natural evolution here. Most of us came on this site because we were exploring something about Nottingham. My experience of Nottinghm is of a certain time and a limited area of experience. So inevitably the chats can shift to other areas of our lives. We all share the common experience (mostly) of being born and raised in the Nottingham area. Thus there is a unique and shared perspective on all kinds of issues. I can only post so many posts on the location of buildings and events in Nottingham history.

The Job History thread is a good example of Nottingham folks sharing a common interest in their life journeys helps make this site great. Sometimes we drift off topic but it has often been my observation that this sometimes triggers another forgotten memory. I give that a big LIKE.

[Michael Booth 7,364]

I can't comment on other Forums because Nottstalgia is the only one I visit. I think Nottstalgia is primarily a Forum about the history of Nottingham and our Members have all contributed many posts on a wide range of topics regarding Nottingham. But, there comes a time when you are struggling to add new info. So what do we do? We discuss what is happening in our private life and maybe also have a little banter. Become like Facebook, as Fynger often mentions. Because of this the Members get to know each other and form friendships. There are a few Members who I know I'd get on well with if we ever met. Our Members even have regular meet-ups because they've formed these friendships. People see what a friendly Forum Nottstalgia is and decide to join. They then start posting about their lives as they grew up and it jogs our memories and we start posting about our history in Nottingham again. If Nottstalgia was srictly for the history of Nottingham I don't think we'd have as many Members.

Regarding MissingMotown, he put a good initial post on and received some good comments and Likes. Missing Motown then posts his 'Over and Out' thread and states that he only received one post on topic but I counted ten posts and three photos. Lizzie then commented, tongue in cheek, that it had taken two weeks for him to respond. He then accused Lizzie for her 'catty post' and it all went downhill from there. I put a post on to try and defuse things but it looks as though MissingMotown has left us. Some will say we won't miss him but it's never ideal to lose a Member in this way.

[FLY2 10,108]

I agree Michael, but a tongue in cheek post from a longstanding and much valued member certainly doesn't warrant an abusive verbal attack as we have seen earlier. If we have lost an over sensitive and humourless soul, then so be it.

[redbowen 131]

When I joined this site I thought it would only be about reminiscing and was a bit confused with some of the topics which seemed a bit off-line.However I have got used to the random topics and have to admit I do enjoy the banter and the dry wit.Long may it continue.

[FLY2 10,108]

I agree redbowen. I only joined for information on Annesley and Colwick steam depots, and look what happened. 27,000 + posts.

As has previously been stated, you're never going to get everyone singing from the same song sheet.

I initially formed opinions of certain members and I don't mind admitting that I was totally wrong in most cases. Despite political views , religious beliefs, which football team you support etc, etc, there are people on here that I could, if need be form lifelong friendships with.

Of course there are a couple I could gleefully smack in the mouth even before they'd opened it !