Ailments, Aches & Pains. (Let's hear them here)

[loppylugs 8,427]

As others have said my heart goes out to you too, Col.  Solutions are not easy.  To quote Ben, "we must all find our own ways."  I know that you do not share my Christian faith, but it has seen me through widowerhood and many other trials.  The Bible has much to say about it, but I am not going to start quoting Bible verses in the interests of not promoting an argument with folks who might object.  My p.m. Box is always open if you want.

[FLY2 10,108]

My dad always told me that 'Life is what you make it'.  I found that somewhat harsh at the time. 

It's very true, but so difficult to continually get it right all the time. I certainly know that !

[Jill Sparrow 10,304]

Many have been the times, when I was a child and older, where I was faced with a visit to the dentist, an exam or some ordeal I would rather not face and my mother would say "If I could, I would do it for you."

She meant it, too.

 

During the last few months of her awful illness, I often said that if it was possible, I would have taken it from her and changed places. I, too, meant every word.

 

But it isn't possible to do that, nor would it be fair. We all have to experience our own trials and learn to deal with them in any way we can. No one escapes, no matter who they are. I'm thinking in particular of Prince Harry in the news today. Just as vulnerable as the rest of us.

 

Life doesn't come with a manual. We have to write our own,

[FLY2 10,108]

As I've stated previously in another topic possibly. "There are no maps for the untrodden road", and it's quite true. 

We just have to do what we think is right at the time. If it goes pear shaped, then more often than not we get over it !

[Jill Sparrow 10,304]

If it goes pear shaped, we've (hopefully) learnt something. We can't get it right all the time. If we did, life would be boring and we would learn nothing. There would be no point in being here. 

[FLY2 10,108]

I always said when at work...'A man who never makes a mistake, has never done anything'.

It certainly applies to life in general too.

[Jill Sparrow 10,304]

#786

 

Very true, FLY! I've also met those who are so frightened of making a mistake that it paralyses their ability to live! What a waste! Might as well not have bothered! 

[FLY2 10,108]

I've got a mob of 'outlaws' like that !

[DJ360 6,721]

Can I firstly say a big thanks for all the positive comments from everyone.

 

Can I also say that I'm very much aware that I'm not the only one to suffer Anxiety or Depression.  They are largely opposite sides of the same coin.  But it is Anxiety which troubles me the most.  I've had a couple of severe and prolonged bouts of Clinical Depression in my life but I don't get depressed now.  As a minor comic aside.. I do recall overhearing my oldest daughter asking her Mum "Why does Daddy keep bursting into tears at dinner time and leaving the table?  Doesn't he like the food?"   Nope.. .the food was fine but I wasn't.  But that was 30 years ago.

 

I'm trying to put this into a context which will be helpful to others, but in all honestly I'm struggling to put much detail at the moment. After my last 'refresher' therapy.. I've been OK.  But I seem to be having a bit of a relapse.

 

My daughter is off to Seoul tomorrow.  She called tonight.  She's had a row with her boyfriend.  Good start..  I just wanted to make sure she was aware of unrest in Seoul over the corruption charges  and removal of President Park., but really that was just a 'lead in'.  I mentioned that she should just keep an eye on the political situation.  She told me she was sick of explaining to people that she was going to South.. not North Korea...  At this point I decided that explaining the threat was pointless and just asked her to keep alert.  Politics isn't her thing..  And for someone so well travelled, neither, seemingly is Geography... 

 

So what I have to try to do now is let go of my own worries.  She's going to Seoul from Tues to Sat.  I can't do anything about that.  The political tensions seem to be continuing and I can't change that either.  I just have to accept the uncertainty, otherwise the worry becomes intolerable.  But it isn't easy.

 

Things have been quite positive until recently and I haven't been worrying so much.  I was thinking that even this Far East trip would be tolerable because I'm better at dealing with this stuff now.  Trump and Kim Jong Un buggered that up.. but I'm sure it'll all be OK.

 

For anyone else who is struggling.  Your GP should be able to point you to local services.  Mine were easy to access and I only waited a week or so for an assessment meeting before being assigned a Therapist for a six week programme.  She was really nice and very helpful.

 

This book was recommended.  I bought it from Amazon:

 

'Overcoming Worry'  'A Self Help Guide using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques'  by Kevin Meares & Mark Freeston.  ISBN 978-1-84529-636-0

 

I'd also strongly recommend anybody to seek out 'Anxiety Management' classes if they are available.  They aren't about therapy, so much as just being aware of your own body.   I was amazed at how much of my trouble was caused by a simple failure to physically relax.  Just one example here.  If you're driving and at a Red light.  It will change when it changes.  So... handbrake.. neutral.. hands off wheel.  Have stretch,..look around.. etc., instead of gripping the wheel and leaning forward, looking at the Red light and willing it to change...

 

I've never done Yoga, but I'm sure it works too. 

Other helpful things:

 

A nice warm relaxing shower.. or bath.

 

A good walk.

 

A good laugh.

 

 

 

[MargieH 7,599]

Thanks once again for sharing your experiences of anxiety/depression, Col.  I've written about it before on here somewhere but when I was in my early thirties, I started having 'panic attacks' for no apparent reason - they came on randomly in the day and  in the night.  Some days, I wasn't able to take the children to school because I felt so ill - my heart was thumping and there was this feeling of impending doom..... very difficult to use explain to someone as I didn't LOOK ill and I used to try so hard to act normally for the sake of the children.  The doctor prescribed tranquillisers but I didn't take them for long because I kept falling asleep in the daytime  and that wasn't any good when I had small children to look after, before and after school.  I just learned to cope by relaxing and letting the feelings of fear 'wash over me' telling myself that this had happened before and nothing bad had happened, and that I would feel normal again in a little while.  This seemed to work for me and after a few months or so, the panic  attacks became much less frequent, finally going away altogether.   Several years afterwards there were a couple of times when I felt the beginnings of panic for no reason but I was able to stop it progressing by the relaxation/ 'reasoning with myself' technique I've just spoken about...  

My anxiety had no basis in actual fact - although there had been the shock of my father-in-law's sudden early death which may have been a factor - so my experience is a bit different from your's, Col, but just to let you know I do understand a little bit of what you are feeling.  I will be thinking and praying for you over the next few days.... 

[DJ360 6,721]

Margie,

 

Thanks so much for your input and your kind words.

 

Although I'm in no position to do a diagnosis, it sounds like your panic attacks were very much like my own early ones.  Probably just a build up of adrenalin caused by all of the little stresses of life 'ratcheting up' over time and not being cleared by either hard exercise, or conscious relaxation.  It's the old classic primitive 'flight or fight' response, but with no running or fighting to resolve it.. so it builds up.   Don't get me wrong.. I'm in no way underestimating it.  That feeling of dread that goes with panic attacks is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  It is truly horrible. There's also something in the physical mechanism there to do with breathing and blood CO2 levels, which is why the breathing in and out in a PAPER bag seems to work.  That technique seems to be a bit frowned on these days but does work.  I wish I could recall the name of the muscle tensing/relaxing method I was taught at Anxiety Management classes.  Basically, you just sit in a chair and work around all the muscle groups in arms, legs, neck and even face and jaw.  Go around twice and this, along with steady breathing, really can have you feeling almost weightless in your chair and very relaxed.  I dare say Yoga is similar and probably more advanced, but needs more training.  So that in a nutshell is my basic understanding of the physical causes of anxiety and panic.

 

However.. it can get a bit more problematical.  When it morphs into chronic worrying, as it seems to have in my case, it's a bit more complicated and can appear in various forms, such as Obessions, Compulsions and Phobias as well as GAD or Generalised Anxiety Disorder.  I think they can also overlap or coexist.. making it yet more complex.

 

The 'Serenity Prayer' covers:  'The strength to change the things I can change..'  This to me is the bit from the self help books about  'real' worries.  Things like money worries etc., which mercifully I don't have.  But such worries are effectively problems and can be sorted out by problem solving techniques, planning, negotiation or whatever.  You just need the will ( strength) to face them and change them.

 

'The grace to accept the things I cannot change' is probably closest to the sort of thing that gives me such trouble.  At it's simplest level it is just trying not to rant about annoyances like politics, other drivers, anti social behaviour and all those other areas where I'm obviously always right, and the rest of the World is wrong.

 

But... and this is the crux of it for me.. those things above are really just annoyances. I can choose to ignore them.  But, using my current example...  My daughter is currently somewhere in the air to the east of Dubai heading out to Seoul. She's about an hour into an 8 hour 15 min flight. If it was just Hong Kong, or maybe the USA, I would be a bit edgy, but it would be tolerable.  I would be mentally exaggerating the risks of travel, but not too badly and I'm getting better at dealing with it.  But she isn't just going to a 'normal' destination.  She is going to Seoul, which is within striking distance of North Korean missiles, at a time when the political tension between the USA and North Korea is very high, with all of the attendant risks, plus China and Russia throwing in their two penn'orth in the background. 

 

This is exactly the sort of thing which gives me the most trouble.  I can't just dismiss it as an 'imaginary' fear.  There is a risk.. however slight. But I'm pretty sure i'm exaggerating the risk in my mind.Even if my worry is real.. There is nothing I can do about the basic situation.

 

I've been reviewing my books and leaflets about this and the first thing I did was to 'postpone' my worry..  Quite literally putting it away until I have the time and inclination to deal with it.  That was helped by being out all day. Surprisingly, by the time I got home after a day out in Liverpool.. I was less fearful.  ( And not just because of the booze.  Drinking doesn't solve the sort of anxiety I'm discussing here and can make it worse.).

When I got home I had another read of my books and decided that this is a worry that I can both challenge, and let go.

 

Challenging is just stuff like:

 

'What do I think might happen?'

'What's the evidence for this.. how likely is it?'

'What's the best, worst and most likely scenario?'

'How helpful is it to worry?'

'How else could I see things?'

 

All of the above do help you to get a real perspective on stuff rather than churning the 'what if?' fears round and round just wishing they would go away. Letting those fears roll on unchallenged, means the worries wold be in charge and I'd have to endure them all the time she is away which would be crippling.

Going through the 'challenging' is helping.

 

Finally, there is 'letting go'.  This is quite strange.  You sort of mentally stand outside your worry and just look at it.  You acknowledge its presence and how it is making you feel, but you don't engage with it, or try to change it or fight it.  Then you just decide that it is not helpful to you.  " These are not facts, realities or truths.. they are just thoughts.. they are not helpful to me.  I'll just let them go."  You can then visualise them drifting away downstream.. or away on the clouds.  This works too.

 

Don't get me wrong here  I'm not miraculously cured and I'll probably have to keep revisiting the books and maybe even the therapists occasionally, to press the 'reset' button.  But I'm struggling at the moment partly because I've been lazy and not paid attention to practising these techniques enough.

 

I'm going to re-read all of my stuff over the next few days and try to be more diligent in re-training my mind to be less of a worrier.

 

Col

 

 

 

 

[Chulla 4,946]

Here we go again, summat else a matter wi' me. Ever since I fell flat on my face, back end of last year, my left ear feels like it is waxed up, affecting my hearing.  Also, there is the sensation that I can hear my voice inside my head. It didn't go away, and when I had an appointment with the surgery nurse I asked her to look in my ear. She did and said that there was no wax in there. Hmmm.

   When I went to see the doctor on prostate cancer business two weeks later I asked him to have a look in my ear. Yes, he said, I can see the wax, make an appointment to get the nurse to syringe it. Yesterday went the the surgery and the nurse had a look and said there's nothing in there, but there is some in the right ear. He syringed that. He then call my regular doctor in the look at the left ear. She confirmed that there was absolutely nothing in it. 

   She thinks that the problem is a blockage in the Eustachean tube that runs between the nose and the ear - it balances the air pressure behind the ear drum with that in front of it. Might explain why I sometimes feel wobbly when I stand up. So, now I have a nasal spray (Beclometasone Dipropionate) to see if it will clear it. 

[catfan 14,793]

I find that a wire coat hanger can work wonders unblocking various or orifices Chulla !

[plantfit 7,580]

Can't beat a good old root around down your lugholes when there's nowt on the telly,it's amazing what you can find in em

 

Rog

[loppylugs 8,427]

794.  I don't wanna know!   

[Chulla 4,946]

Normally, I get a handkerchief, push one corner into the right ear, get something to push it all the way through till I can grip it coming out the left ear, then pull forwards and backwards. Doesn't seem to be anything stopping it.

[carni 10,094]

It's not too bad to hear your voice in your head Chulla, but if you hear more than one voice, that's the time to worry? 

Joking apart, I hope they get it sorted out for you quickly.

[katyjay 5,090]

I was told to never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear'ole. In other words, no poking around with a sharp stick. 

[DJ360 6,721]

Hey Dave, they gave me that Betemaclo dioprpioiwotsit for a siliar thing.  It does seem to help.  Hope you are sorted out soon.

 

Col

[catfan 14,793]

After a blood test last week I get a letter to make appointment to see the Doc. Afterwards in the same building I have my annual glaucoma screening check ! Handy that, all in Bulwell.

[catfan 14,793]

Saw the Doc, Sodium level to low. Another blood test scheduled. Glaucoma clinic say signs of Macular Degeneration visible. Oh well another day another problem.

Blood pressure & glucose level spot on tho.

[MargieH 7,599]

Catfan, I've had AMD for several years and it's still at the dry stage.  I've been told if it gets suddenly worse I have to let the doctor know straightaway because that means it's turned into a wet form of AMD.  Every couple of days,  I check my eyesight on a special grid which I've stuck on the fridge, so I'll notice if the lines are looking more wiggly or if more grey blind spots have developed.  At the moment the AMD doesn't trouble me that much, apart from always losing things I've put down somewhere!!   I notice it more when I'm having an eye test because I'm then forced to look straight ahead - I suppose I normally move my head slightly to see things, although I'm not aware of doing that.

You say your sodium level is a bit low - perhaps you need a little sprinkle of salt on your chips?

[catfan 14,793]

Unfortunately Margie it's the "wet" variety & have noticed changes in my sight. Another reason why I gave up driving. Too many people are driving with health problems that can & do affect driving but hide these ailments !

We have not had salt in the house for years, the only time I have added salt is when we eat out, my salt addition on chips is always noticed by Mrs Cs beady eyes !

First time ever a doctor told me to take a bit more salt in my diet.

I tried to hoodwink Mrs C that Hobgoblin contains salt but she is having none of that !

I need a holiday.

[MargieH 7,599]

Have you been offered any treatment for the AMD like lutein supplements, or are you just consuming lots of green vegetables..... we often have curly kale as a vegetable - supposed to be a good source of  lutein - in fact we had it for lunch today.  I really like it...  

[catfan 14,793]

Just the screening today, was told to expect an appointment within 6 weeks at the QMC.