Ailments, Aches & Pains. (Let's hear them here)


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I've copied this post made on 20th March by read, R.E.A.D to draw attention to it, as I think it may have been missed by many people. t was posted in the Bilborough Grammar School thread, and there were no replies or comments to it.

 

That might give the impression that nobody on Nottstalgia is bothered by something like this, although past history demonstrates that is not the case. 

 

On 20/03/2017 at 10:52 AM, read, R.E.A.D. said:

just before Christmas my wife went to the G.P. with a dry cough that just wouldn't go away, 7 weeks later we were told she has terminal cancer and between 3 and 6 months to live. 

She is having chemo at the moment with a hope it will give us a few extra months but the treatment is certainly palliative rather than curative. The idea not being more than 30 minutes away from home is in case her temperature goes up, she needs to go to hospital.

 

 After 40 years together it's a bit of blow but we are trying to make the most. So my advice to "Physicalperfection" is CRUISE / HOLIDAY / Just do it, no knowing what is round the corner.

 

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Being the newbie I am to N.S. I couldn't work out how to reach out to Physical Perfection to tell him to get on with life as you never know what tomorrow will bring. Obviously at the moment time

I'm a happy Bunny tonight Went for my oncology visit after I had the P.E.T. scan and T.A.C. a couple of weeks ago and all is clear after the scare I had. The next process is due in 6 months after I ha

Don't think I've posted on this thread before but maybe being admitted to Stoke hospital with a heart attack on Monday justifies it  No big deal really and not as dramatic as it sounds. Admitted

I did read this post CT and was very upset  for the people concerned,I don't consider myself qualified or even have the correct words to use in a reply,however I do wish both people well,It must have took a lot of soulsearching to write that post in the first place

 

Rog

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R.E.A.D I am sorry that this post has been missed, I am sure it wouldn't have been deliberate. It could possibly be because the thread it was posted in is one that has not been read since before you added your post. I am very sorry to read about your wives illness and the outlook for the future. You will find that people on NS care about each others troubles, even though we can't always help each other, we will always listen and share your troubles if it helps to talk about it. 

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I too read it R.E,A.D, and my heart goes out to you,i just can't find any words to help,so very sorry.........and thanks cliff-ton for prompting the responses you have............

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R.E.A.D    there is nothing that anyone can say that will help or ease the pain hat you both are going through, we are here to listen and give any help or comfort that we can.  If there is no one that you feel you can turn to, strangers can be a great comfort. My thoughts are with you live every day that you have together  to its fullest.

Gem

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R.E.A.D.  I too, missed your post.  I did not have any connections with Bilboro grammar school so did not follow the thread.  I can only agree with what the others have said.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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I didn't see the original post. This is a tragic situation, R E A D. Living with a terminal illness is akin to a huge dark cloud that follows you everywhere you go. I think it is important to talk about how you are feeling and coping with the agencies who do such wonderful work with terminal illnesses, Marie Curie nurses, etc and not to bottle up fears and worries.

 

Although NS members are almost certainly strangers to you, we do listen and try to give support in any way we can so please don't be afraid to talk to us R E A D. Many Nottstalgians, including myself, are thinking of you both.

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I second everything that has previously been said. Cancer is a terrible illness that not only affects the person concerned but the whole family.

The initial shock is being told and it takes time to take in. Make the most of the time you have together and enjoy each others company to the full, maybe remembering the funny and enjoyable  things you did together. 

When my brother was terminally ill I remember when we were kids and spent our school holidays at our grandparents who lived by the sea. We went fishing in the local park and my brother was trying to catch a big stickleback and he reached too far and fell in. A couple fished him out and asked if he was ok, I shouted back to them " he's got his best suit on". Silly I know but I was more worried what my mum would say.

Give a big hug of friendship to your wife from me and I'm sure from the rest of NS. And a hug of comfort and courage to you. Stay strong and positive for her.  

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I am so sorry to hear of your situation R.E.A.D. and feel your pain and despair as unfortunately we are in the same awful position with my lovely wife struggling with this. She did undergo two attempts of chemo but both times suffered attacks of cellulitis and sepsis and so in January was told that she was no longer strong enough to have any further treatment and effectively told to go home and give up, it was such a callous thing to do in our situation.

Mrs C cannot leave the house because of her physical condition so if you still have that ability and the will to so do, please make the most of the precious time that you have left together.

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#753

 

Really sorry to hear about your wife, Commo. It's a cruel illness and takes every bit of strength you've got to cope with it. I'm sure you will both find strength in each other and hope you are able to access the wonderful nurses who are available to help via Marie Curie and Macmillan. I know they've been invaluable to so many in your situation.

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Thinking of you and your wife, Commo.  It must be very difficult for you ....... 

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Thanks for your kind wishes Jill and Margie, sometimes I feel so helpless to do anything and am very disappointed at the lack of support from the organisations you mention, although we have just started to receive assistance from our GP surgery and the Locala nurses who come in daily to see to dressings do give of their best that they are able, although they are so very busy looking after so many others in need.

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R.E.A.D and Commo..... You're in my thoughts, and I'm sincerely hoping for a better and positive future for you both.

My odd aches, pains and twinges pale into insignificance, and I feel for EVERYBODY who is in a worse state than myself. 

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I cannot imagine what you are going through READ and Commo and so sorry to hear of your dear wives medical problems.  All that can be done by close relatives and friends of people who are affected by this cruel disease is to be brave and give the best support physically and emotionally to the sufferer.  

As FLY says, the niggling problems that we oldies suffer from just pale into insignificance when we hear of what other people are going though.  

Be brave, be strong.

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Sorry I haven't been on before but I really feel for both of you with the challenge life has thrown at you both. I don't know either of you personally  but through your contributions on this site I believe you both have the strength of character to do the best for your partners with lots of love and support.

I feel sure you will want at sometime to vent your frustrations and anger , the best way is to do it is in writing on this forum, where all your friends on here will be more than willing to listen to you and help you in any way they can.

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Commo and R.E.A.D, I am so sorry to read that your wives are so ill, I can only tell you how sad it makes me to think of you all in this awful situation and I will have you all in my thoughts.

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Commo words don't seem to be enough in a situation like this. When my brother was ill and he'd been given this terrible news I said to him that I didnt know what to say. He agreed and told me to just carry on talking about the first thing that came into my head. Thats difficult under the circumstances but we tried and managed to joke a little.

There is nothing one can do to ease the heartache but take time to enjoy each others company and remember the happier times. A big hug to you both.

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Thanks to Cliff for bringing R.E.A.D.'s post to our attention.

 

I can only echo everyone else's sentiments about the situation both R.E.A.D and Commo find themselves in.

 

Our thoughts and best wishes are with you all.

 

Col

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R.E.A.D. may also be in for a surprise.

 

He hasn't visited the site since I reactivated his post which had been missed, and perhaps he felt that no-one was interested. So presumably before long he will find this thread and discover that a large number of people have expressed sympathy for his situation.

 

I've added a link in the Bilborough Grammar School thread to re-direct here.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Being the newbie I am to N.S. I couldn't work out how to reach out to Physical Perfection to tell him to get on with life as you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Obviously at the moment time with my wife and family come ahead of time I would normally have spent on N.S. so that is really why I had missed this conversational thread. The outpouring (if that is the correct word) from you all has really

surprised me, people we've never met actually feel for us - there is hope for humanity you lot! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and please don't feel sorrry for us (I'm certainly not looking for that) take heart, as I've said before if this (and many other) sad situations like this prove (Commo will agree I am sure) anything can happen, no guarantees on tomorrow DO IT and DO IT NOW .

My wife is still with me, we're now three months into the three to six month prognosis we were given at the start, if anyone can prove the medics wrong its my Julie, she's a strong woman so here's to the next year!

 

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I love your positive outlook R.E.A.D.   I believe that prognoses from doctors can be wrong (just look at Stephen Hawking) and that our mind, physical body and emotions often work together to keep us as healthy as possible.  (Also - I believe - our spirit)   I'm pleased to read that your wife is a strong lady and with you by her side doing all you can, I hope you'll keep enjoying your time together.  You're so right.... enjoying the present is the best thing to do because who knows what tomorrow will bring...

Thinking and praying  for you both

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