You know you're losing it when ......

[mary1947 2,079]

I thought it was only me that did all these things. I feel a lot better now, thanks everyone.

[Compo 10,328]

Yesterday I burnt my toast - it was in the electric toaster; how on earth did I manage that one then?!

[Compo 10,328]

I was going to write something profound but I've forgotten what it was.....

[DJBrenton 738]

Can't be any worse than some of the stuff that passes for pain creme and maybe a lot better than some.

I was in France a couple of weeks ago and fort some reason read that as some sort of cream you put on bread. You know you're gtting bewildered when you think that only some words in a sentence are in a different language.

[carni 10,094]

#27 Compo, I bet I know how you did it, because I did it myself tuther day. In fact, I do it nearly every day.

1, Your toast popped up, and you wanted it a bit browner, so you popped it back in for the same timing and by the time it popped up agen , it wa bont.

2, When you or your wife cleaned the toaster you accidentally moved the timer switch.

I did it last week, only I went in the other room and closed the door and forgot, half an hour later when I walked into the kitchen and couldn't see through the smoke. I stood there for a while wondering where the burnt food smell was coming from. Then I spotted the two charred squares sticking out of the toaster. Not Again!!!

[DJBrenton 738]

One of the staff at David Lloyd managed to set the fire alarm off doing the 'double toasted' thing a while back. They evacuated the building but eventually had to give up trying to persuade me (and others) to get out of the outside pool and go to the car park for safety. I mean just how much more safe from fire can you be than in a swimming pool outdoors?

[Jill Sparrow 10,304]

While lunching in Derby with my sister recently, she said she needed to go to Waitrose for some shopping. I told her there was no Waitrose in Derby city centre but would she have it?

We walked round the shopping centres looking for Waitrose, no luck. There isn't one, I said.

Then she started asking random shoppers where Waitrose was. There isn't one, they said.

Next she approached the centre manager who was toddling off for his lunch. No Waitrose in Derby, he informed her.

So she asked at Boots. There isn't one.

Ten people in all, not including my good self, told her there was no Waitrose in Derby before she gave up.

I think it was in Kidderminster, she sighed.

Losing it? Never had it in the first place morelike!

She's not with me. Never seen her before in my life!

[OrphanAnnie 296]

#22 my cousin calls them CRAFT moments instead of senior moments. As in 'can't remember a f**ing thing'

[FLY2 10,108]

CRAFT moments, I certainly have a few of those !

[redbowen 131]

I prefer Craft Beers.

[katyjay 5,090]

A little while back we had a group of friends round for drinks. One fella was happily scratching one of my cat's back, when said cat turned round and bit his arm (never done this before). I went to get some antiseptic ointment, came back with the tube and put some on his arm. Showing him the tube, I said, look, this will do the trick, only to find it was sunscreen. Well, I had had a glass of wine! Anyhoo, it did the trick, arm healed nicely. No harm, no foul.

[Jill Sparrow 10,304]

I wouldn't ask him round again. Moggie obviously doesn't like him!

[catfan 14,793]

Our Monty would have taken his fingers off.

He only allows stroking by prior consent !

[Jill Sparrow 10,304]

Molly, likewise. Only those with impeccable references, six tins of tuna and a large bag of IAMS need apply.

[Michael Booth 7,364]

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.