Beekay 5,134 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 It would be my youngest son's birthday tomorrow, he would have been 50 years old. He passed away in City hospital, Christmas 1978. B. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mercurydancer 1,104 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 10 minutes ago, MargieH said: I never realised that Russian funerals were so different to those in this country! So sorry that your wife didn't get to see her mother before she died........Thank you for sharing on here - it was very interesting reading. thank you margie. it is always comforting to speak to people o this site. I think it is not only because we are nottinghamians, but there are some very nice people here! 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mercurydancer 1,104 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 2 minutes ago, Beekay said: It would be my youngest son's birthday tomorrow, he would have been 50 years old. He passed away in City hospital, Christmas 1978. B. it must be very difficult for you. He was so young. You have my sympathies. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,134 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 Didn't stop there though MD., eldest son died in my arms in Pembury hospital 1990. He was 23, he would have been 52 now . So don't have any grandkids. Know anybody who wants to adopt a grandad ? Hardly used ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,599 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 Beekay, losing a child , and especially one so young, must have been devastating for you and your wife....... And then to lose another child a few years later.... I just can't imagine how you must have felt, and still feel now. Xx Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,134 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 3 minutes ago, MargieH said: Beekay, losing a child , and especially one so young, must have been devastating for you and your wife. Xx Read on another thread on here, numerous posts regarding a restaurant at the top of Derby road which used to be a funeral parlour. Difficult reading for me as this was my lad's final resting place before his funeral. I believe it was Co-op services, still got the bill which included dividend discount if we paid on time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
philmayfield 6,115 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 It was called "Mr. Haddock" when it was a fish and chip restaurant and very good it was too. They also had another outlet in The Ossington building on Beastmarket Hill in Newark. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,134 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 Was aware of the name Phil, just couldn't bring myself to appreciate it. Not after seeing my sons open coffin in there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,304 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 A friend has photos of his Polish grandfather, who he never met, lying in his coffin, surrounded by males of the family. All looks distinctly mafiaesque! My friend's father, as with many other Poles, was marooned here after WW2. In recent years, due I assume to the influx of Poles working in the UK, my friend has found a jar with a burned out candle on his father's grave the morning after All Souls. Presumably, the Polish community has logged local gravestones bearing Polish names and treated them all to a candle at All Souls, as is their custom. Personally, I think that's rather nice. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
philmayfield 6,115 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 7 minutes ago, Beekay said: Was aware of the name Phil, just couldn't bring myself to appreciate it. Not after seeing my sons open coffin in there. Yes, I understand how you must feel BK. My mother was upset when we took her there for lunch, quite innocently, and she remembered that’s where here brother was taken to. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,134 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 Cheers Mate !! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mercurydancer 1,104 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 Ah yes, the candles. The stubs are not to be thrown away at all. They are to be put into the grave. It was too windy for any of the candles we held for that to be possible, none of them lit due to the wind. I still have my candle and will light it at my parents grave. It seems appropriate. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mercurydancer 1,104 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 59 minutes ago, Beekay said: Didn't stop there though MD., eldest son died in my arms in Pembury hospital 1990. He was 23, he would have been 52 now . So don't have any grandkids. Know anybody who wants to adopt a grandad ? Hardly used ! My heart goes out to you. Once is bad, twice is awful and a tragedy I cannot imagine. My family, who I loved, grew old and died, with their loved ones and peacefully at old ages, as it should be. God love you for your loss. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,134 Posted June 9, 2019 Report Share Posted June 9, 2019 Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated. .Like you, I light a candle for lost loved ones. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mercurydancer 1,104 Posted June 26, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2019 As per Russian custom it is the third and final wake. 40 days, it is significant as it is the time Christ spent in the wilderness. The Russian orthodox belief is that today the soul finally ascends to heaven. My wife will be in bits and it is horrific for me to be in England and not there. As per usual after a death, there are arguments about the will. My wife's sister is being difficult, asking for money. Not that she helped her own mother at all, for many years. My wife's sister's husband owes me a few favours for getting him out of prison when he drove into two police cars when drunk. Drunk at 7am! I stood bail for him as I had enough money to do so. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,304 Posted June 26, 2019 Report Share Posted June 26, 2019 2 hours ago, mercurydancer said: per usual after a death, there are arguments about the will. My wife's sister is being difficult, asking for money. Sometimes I think life for those left behind would be easier if you COULD take it with you! 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Brew 5,409 Posted June 26, 2019 Report Share Posted June 26, 2019 3 hours ago, Jill Sparrow said: Sometimes I think life for those left behind would be easier if you COULD take it with you! I've cracked that, I'm taking travellers cheques... 1 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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