Chulla 4,946 Posted January 25, 2017 Report Share Posted January 25, 2017 DW. Your dad looks like the actor Eddie Redmayne. Can't be Skeggy, though - the weather's too good. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Found some more Sentimental old tat' in the garage..........in the form of my old 'note books' from 'Store Detecting' days,mostly to do with Nottingham.........and mostly (i think) very funny............will put some on here......if requested?..............lol. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,600 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Yes please, Ben, love to read some of your notes... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,328 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Speaking of "Redknecks" Loppylugs #24, I met a couple (He a Texan and she an Indianan) whilst on Holiday in Costa Rica the other week. They believed that if everyone were forced to carry a gun, by law, there would be no gun crime in the States! How feckin' daft can you get? The stupid bastard even complained that he was not allowed to take his gun into Mexico....for personal protection. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 One to kick off then,just for you Margie,............twas an horrible rainy day in Feb 2000.........i was coming to the end of a stint at Trowell road Coop,i was sat behind the check-outs watching who was coming in,........when a stocky chap in his 40s entered,he was soaking wet and wearing a big leather coat,he did'nt pick a basket up and headed straight to the 'Meat fridge' where he proceeded to stuff several large 'Beef joints' in his coat........i thought Nice one.....good easy catch, on what had been a Barren day................he walked straight thru an empty check-out and i confronted him at the exit with my usuall greeting of 'ey-up mi-duck,i'm a store detective and you've got stuff youve not paid for''.........he kicked off but after a brief struggle we had him a safe room..............now at this stage he was not only wet thru,but covered in blood from the joints that had burst open,...... We were now waiting for the Police to attend when he told me he wanted the toilet,but not in those words,i refused him,he then promptly messed himself in the worse way...............so now he was wet thru,covered in blood and excrement,and stinking............thought i'd let him use the toilet in the Warehouse to let him clean himself up',bad mistake he saw the w/house shutter was up and made a run for it,..............tripping over in the process and bashing his head against a 'unitainer' So now we have him back in the safe room,.........wet thru,covered in blood from the meat,plus the stinking excrement,and his head pouring with blood..........when the Police finally arrived they took one look at him and said.......''bloody hell Ben what you done to him........lol knew his face from somewhere,and about a week later called in the Green Barrel for a pint with me Dad................and yes he was in there propping up the bar,with a Bandage on his head,.....i laughed when i saw him and said 'how you doing'?........he told me the Police had taken him to Hospital for many stitches and was waiting for a Court date,even offered to buy me a pint, bless him. 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,600 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Thank you Ben. More stories please... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,429 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Good stuff, Ben. I bet you could write a book. Hope you keep it coming. . My life as an electrician was nowhere near as exciting. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,305 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 You should write a book, Ben! You've had some hilarious encounters and I'm only talking about the store detecting! The ladies you've been involved with could fill several more volumes! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,305 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 #83 Wot? No shocks, Loppy? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,429 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Had a few but they weren't very entertaining. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
denshaw 2,871 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 My mate was a kleptomaniac, he's ok now he's taken something for it. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,305 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 In an early teaching post, I had a class of year one children. It wasn't my favourite age group, if I'm honest. One particular day, we were doing some phonics work when the aroma of something not very nice assailed my nostrils. I said nothing but got up and moved slowly round the children who were seated on tiny wooden chairs. Eventually, I established where the smell was most pungent. A little girl who had special educational needs. Oddly, the others hadn't noticed and I quietly asked her if she was alright. She nodded her head but looked uncomfortable. There was a toilet just outside the classroom door, so I asked her to go and wait for me there. She shuffled off and I opened the connecting door to the parallel year one class, asking the teacher to keep an eye on my lot. In the toilet stood the little girl who had by this time removed her soiled underwear, causing the accretion to run down her little legs, soaking into her white ankle socks and brand new red sandals. I stared in dismay, wondering what on earth she could have eaten to cause such awful squits but then she looked me in the eye defiantly and chirped: "It wasn't me, miss!" Don't think I've ever laughed so much! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,429 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 # 76. Actually come to think about it there was one. One of my pals parents owned a chip shop in Netherfield. I had been an apprentice for about a year. They wanted an extra light in the back where they peeled the spuds. Anxious to show my new prowess as an electrician I said I'd do it for them. I think they only had one lighting circuit in the whole place so couldn't turn things off. Especially when the shop was open, which seemed to be most of the time. No problem! Says know it all Lugs. I can hook it up live. So I ran the wire, hung the fixture and then proceeded to hook it up to the existing switch. What 'know it all' had forgotten was that his cheap pair of pliers had the insulation broken off at one end of the handle. The concrete floor was running with water from the spud peeling machine. I had a real good grip when I grabbed hold of that hot wire to twist the two together. It went through my arm and out me wet feet. I didn't even cuss. I was speechless. I'm glad I didn't have weak heart it could easily have killed me. Fortunately somehow I managed to drop the pliers. Seems funny when you look back on it but it wasn't at the time. It was a valuable lesson. May have actually saved my life in making me more cautious in future. Also taught me the value of good tools and not using cheap damaged ones. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Shop lifters come in many forms........kids nicking chocs.....fairly normal never got the Police,in fact i'd mostly tell one of the staff to sort it nicely,felt sorry for some of em they did it because they were hungry,....young teenagers often did it for a dare,just used to tell off and threaten with the Police..............then there were the older teenagers often violent with the staff and often run by a older 'Gangmaster'..... got the Police mostly,but sometimes would try to talk to em about the error of their ways,got alot of satisfaction when it worked,.............then there were the Druggies who were mostly violent,but trapped in their lifestyle........all the afore mentioned were easy to spot and catch...........The ones that were more difficult were the normal looking,some even had good jobs,but just could'nt resist summat for nowt.......always prosecuted..........then the Pensioners believe me they were rife,but really funny. However without naming the company's the biggest thieves were Staff especially Management. I will relate more of the funnier episodes later........i like people to have a'chuckle'.......it won't be the sad stories. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 I admire your noble attitude Ben, but at the end of the day, shoplifting is still theft. It's contributed greatly to rising prices over the years. The latest habit, and not just amongst the young is the eating or drinking of products prior to getting to the checkout. Last year in Tesco's there was an Asian family sharing a punnet of strawberries. I was behind them at the till, but they didn't declare it. I told the cashier, and she just shrugged her shoulders, and gave me a look as thou I was the culprit. Typical ! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Its known in the trade as 'Grazing' Fly...........and you would never get a 'Prosecution'...........i never ignored it and insisted they paid at the till.......often great arguments ensued but i always got my way plus i banned them from the store, 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Get your backside down to Top Valley Tesco. The criminal fraternity are almost permanent residents. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Many stores today have the liberty to call uniformed guards (in some cases) Store Detectives !........when in fact a properly trained Store Detective operates in plain clothes and blends in,........also has much more knowledge of the law.........a wrongful arrest can and should be very expensive...........These stores advertise at about national minimun rate.......whereby a proper Store Detective comes much more expensive. I still spot thieves when shopping.........but say nowt,......if company's don't pay for the right people........its their fault. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Oh ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 I feel sorry for staff working late nights in many smaller Independent stores,and smaller multiples.............the Management have gone home by 5,.............and the ones left to face the 'violent and abusive' lifters are generally older part-time ladies..on the lowest pay. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 One rainy Saturday, I took shelter in the Oxfam charity shop on Mapperley Plains. There was a young chap with a carrier bag filling it with men's clothing. My wife informed the chap on the till, and he just smirked, and did bu66er all. i thought 'Well, if you can't be bothered matey, then I'm certainly not getting a punch in the face for sod all' . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 And that about sums it up Fly..............a Uniformed presence can be a deterrent...if they do the job properly........but Charity shops just say they can't afford it..............i think it ought to come under 'health/safety' nowadays ....sadly.......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Bulwell Coop was always busy with Shoplifters........we had the bad gangs from Aspley and Broxtowe........but the funniest were the Pensioners,.............two of us were working it one day and it was a record 17 in one day..........my partner had caught an old lady well in her 70s with £30 worth of Toiletries,she was prolific,and my partner had called the Police..........while they were waiting for them to arrive i caught another Pensioner with £40 worth of Garden seeds..........so when the Police arrived we were all sat in the Managers office........accompanied by a Wheel chair and walking sticks......real funny site watching the Police struggle to get the wheelchair walking sticks and two old Pensioners into their Panda car................to shouts of 'bleddy Coppers' aint got nowt else better to do'' 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,155 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 Back in 1968 Marsdens/Farrands had been taken over by Moores stores in the north-east,so opportunities for those looking for a bit of adventure were asked if they wanted to travel,jobs became available through out the greater Midlands......always being one for new horizons i offered my services,and became their only Security detective in the Midlands........if a shop was suffering poor stock results i was sent to investigate,great job with lodging allowance and use of a company car.....one of the first jobs i was tasked with was in Alum Rock Birmingham......did the normal checks,shoplifting,deliverys,staff searches etc,..nothing really untoward.............but in the meantime got to know the Manager quite well,.......gained his confidence told him all the procedures i'd carried out etc,.....also told him when i was going home for a couple of days,..........he was always banging on about his staff on the nick,which made me wary of him,.........i was pretty sure by now that his staff mainly teenage girls were good girls.....lol............anyway when he thought i'd gone home to Nottingham........i hired a different car for a couple of days,and parked after the store closed with a view of the back door............Bingo 2nd night there he was filling his van with cases of John West red Salmon,Fags and Nescafe,..........bless him,never liked him anyway............made me wary of so called Managers ever since.......... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ray531 15 Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 It's an old one but ---- Remember when you could catch the bus into town of a Saturday morning with half a crown in your pocket and get a weeks worth of groceries in your shopping bag and return home with two bob in pocket. You can't do that nowdays --- too many bloody cameras in the shops !!!! Ray 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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