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I really hope that this post does not cause offence and I am NOT repeat NOT have a go at any individual here and may be totally wrong.

My wife has recently joined this site so has come to it with fresh eyes. She made an observation to me which made me realise that on rare occasions things are posted that may be better if it hadn't been. As an example suggesting that certain teachers or staff had behaved in an inappropriate way. There could be children or grandchildren of these 'offenders' find their way to this site and such comments may come as a shock and cause great distress. I'm not condoning the actions of these people, such behaviour is totally deplorable but if it was never formally dealt with either at the time or since then they could possibly be challenged and so need considering. Likewise we all knew kids that were snotty dirty scruffy but remember there was real and I mean real poverty about. Such people may have moved on and bettered themselfs. Some may even be on here but perhaps we should remember the majority of the time it was not their fault. There were aspects of my upbringing that were not perfect but I'm not discussing here and would be very unhappy if anyone were to refer to it.

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Shouldn't need to apologise, letsavagoo. My jaw literally drops at the inane stuff folk sometimes come out with. I ignore it these days as all you get is  'freedom of speech' moans. There have been some recent comments I'm surprised weren't removed immediately.

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10 hours ago, letsavagoo said:

I really hope that this post does not cause offence and I am NOT repeat NOT have a go at any individual here and may be totally wrong.

My wife has recently joined this site so has come to it with fresh eyes. She made an observation to me which made me realise that on rare occasions things are posted that may be better if it hadn't been. As an example suggesting that certain teachers or staff had behaved in an inappropriate way. There could be children or grandchildren of these 'offenders' find their way to this site and such comments may come as a shock and cause great distress. I'm not condoning the actions of these people, such behaviour is totally deplorable but if it was never formally dealt with either at the time or since then they could possibly be challenged and so need considering. Likewise we all knew kids that were snotty dirty scruffy but remember there was real and I mean real poverty about. Such people may have moved on and bettered themselfs. Some may even be on here but perhaps we should remember the majority of the time it was not their fault. There were aspects of my upbringing that were not perfect but I'm not discussing here and would be very unhappy if anyone were to refer to it.

Well actually I disagree with your statement. If someone has had a difficult childhood why should comments about their poor upbringing be brushed under the carpet. Some kids did have a poor upbringing, me included along with a brother & 2 sisters. I'm neither ashamed nor embarrassed about my upbringing. To censor a poster's comments because some might not like the truth of someone else's upbringing is going a bit to far, being dragged up in Nottingham is still a part of nottstalgia, take the good with the not so good, it's all real. We had some teachers who where sadistic bullies. I know full well not to disclose peoples names not to face litagation.

Hand wringing & shaking heads is not the way.

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I think it is the naming/identifying of teachers or other adults who behaved inappropriately that is wrong.  I've already posted a comment about this recently on a different thread

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I only Post names if its 'complimentary and i liked them......when ive named people from my Marsdens days its been a pleasure to get responses from their relatives.....ie Mr Hortons grandson Northgate Marsdens, and Joe Doves grandson from those days......i think this is part of what Nottstalgia is about.

 

edit........and 2 long lost Cousins..........and a number of old mates.........

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Iif \etsavagoo was referring to th Nottm Childrens home & Skegness (I don't know which) Then I still stand by my claims of bullying by the bloke in charge, if his family don't like what's on here then tough.

No one has made any comment on NS about these kind of posts. Until now a new member comes along & doesn't like what's posted.

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I was relentlessly beaten and bullied by some of the nuns who taught me as a child; they seemed to enjoy dishing out a good beating too. Furthermore, if my father got to hear of a beating by the nuns he would then beat me for upsetting the brides of Christ!  These things happened and as long as we don't go bandying names around without corroboration why should it be hidden from history?  Children were and I'm sure still are abused by some adults.  

 

In our time as kids, just post WWII for most of us, we were poor and had little or no access to luxuries such as new clothes.  Hand-me-downs were all part of my family life and I am not ashamed to say so.  If I wanted an expensive Xmas present such as a bike, I had to accept a second-hand one. To this day I still ride a second-hand bike and proud to do so. We had ex-army blankets on our beds; even on the coldest of days a fire would not be lit until four o'clock to save coal; shoes were repaired by my dad with his hobbing foot and segs; I could drone on forever but I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say here.

 

Let's not get into censorship because some poor sod might be offended at seeing a post that discusses poverty or abuse; it happened and we have to learn to live with it.  Rant over.........awaiting a flaming..... :)

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The more i read on here about unhappy childhoods......makes me even more thankful of my own lovely parents and extended family........and i feel for those who were less fortunate..........even school teachers i have nothing but fond memories..........suppose i was just a lucky Kid............

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Most of us can identify with the general poverty just after WW2.

 

Most of us got the odd 'clout' off parents or teachers back then.

 

I don't suppose it really hurts to say that such and such teacher was known for dishing out the cane, etc., as these things were accepted (and legal) back then.

 

I  get a bit more uneasy when I hear increasingly frequent and disturbing tales of behaviour within certain religious schools, children's homes etc.  In those cases, especially where serious child/sexual abuse is alleged, I'd say that even if it's 'historical', this is not the proper place to make such allegations and it's certainly not appropriate to name names.

 

Allegations should be made to the appropriate authorities.  'Trial by internet' is just as bad as 'Trial by Ordeal'.

 

Once things have been investigated, I don't see anything wrong with commenting on the outcome.

 

Col

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I thought this would upset some. It's not about censorship at all.

Catfan. I was certainly not referring to your post which I may have seen but not recently and if you read Margie H's post above and two previous comments others have noticed and Margie also commented so it's not just a 'new member.'  I think your missing the point. It's nothing to do with burying your head in the sand. DJ360 gets it.

 

And Compo you hit the nail on the head yourself by agreeing with what my post was about  then going off to what the post was not about. I'll quote you.

'These things happened and as long as we don't go bandying names around without corroboration why should it be hidden from history? '

That is exactly the point. Names and corroboration.

My upbringing was similar to yours, not so much as my parents were very poor but that they had middle class aspirations and were tighter than a ducks bum and saved every penny and never spent so they could move on. They did and my dad died shortly after. Yes scrapping frost off inside my bedroom window with grey army blankets so thin the army had chucked them out and second hand shoes with cotton wool in the toes. A bath once a week in 1" of water etc etc but that's not what I meant at all. Of course that is part of our history and should be shouted from the roof if you want to. That's not what this is about at all. Im just suggesting that mentioning by name people who may well have committed criminal offences that have not been dealt with by proper legal process is unwise. Likewise I don't think I'd like it if someone were to say about me 'he used to go to school in second hand shoes or wear his sisters jeans with the zip down the side not front.' If I tell you fine. That aspect is just good manners and decency.

And the post was made by me as the result of my wife, the 'new member' being rather surprised that someone was named with allegations of sexual misconduct against them. And just for the record my wife was eldest of 5 kids and is no wall flower easily offended. Far from it. She's been married to me for 43 years after all. She could tell a tale or two but that's up to her not me.

It would not be fair to give the impression that my childhood was dreadful. It wasn't and given the circumstance my parents did their best with my dad working 2 jobs much of the time. I don't think they got the balance quite right and were terrified to spend anything. Save, save, save. No pockets in coffins.

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Historical facts are completely different to hearsay, I think we can all get carried away

on nottstagia because its like talking to old friends.

I do agree that names shouldn't be mentioned  unless you  are saying something good 

or nice about someone.

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24 minutes ago, sue B 48 said:

Historical facts are completely different to hearsay, I think we can all get carried away

on nottstagia because its like talking to old friends.

I do agree that names shouldn't be mentioned  unless you  are saying something good 

or nice about someone.

I agree with your sentiment Sue, but I think it's okay to say something bad about someone sometimes but if it was criminal, and in this context generally we're talking sexual abuse then I think not. I think you make a good point about talking to old friends. It often is and many enjoy talking about when we were younger. But it wasn't always happy for everyone. It's fine that Compo can share that he was treated cruelly by the nuns if he wants to. Clearly it was wrong but probably not illegal nor is he specific about individuals as far as I am aware. But should anyone write here that Father Peter used to feel me up at St Johns Church in Basford way back if it's never been properly investigated. And for the record any resemblance to any father Peter is purely coincidence and I just made up a name to illustrate a point.

It is apparent than some have misunderstood the sentiment of my post (not you SuB48). Probably my fault for not explaining correctly what I meant but don't know how else I can say it.

Please just read it carefully and try to understand that it's not about glossing over and never mentioning the bad at all. 

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I could name names of those whom I now recognise as sadists but it would serve no useful purpose. I'm sure they are all dead by now and will have been judged by their God.  However, it did happen and I still think that it should be known that these terrible things happened and perhaps still do.  Mrs Compo was involved with many legal cases of similar offences during her career but she would NEVER reveal names or cases to anyone - even after conviction.  That, I think she would say, is a matter for those directly concerned with the individual cases and not for public judgement.

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Whilst I agree that to mention names without definitive proof when talking of criminal activity is not only silly it could lead to all sorts off problems.

 

I also believe we should openly discuss our childhood memories both good and bad, we already have the situation where the young of today would not believe it and its not that long ago.

 

Try explaining to my 14 year old granddaughter that the cane/tawse where not only legal they were used with great regularity, that we bathed once a week in a tin bath before a fire and the many other privations we went through in our youth. Then tell her that despite this we had a great childhood, GOBSMACKED comes to mind, how I do I know...........I've told her and she was.

 

At her asking I have committed my memories 1954 to 2016 to disc giving anecdotes on the social norms of the time and how they reflected on my life in a working class family.

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11 hours ago, catfan said:

In that case then lets follow the hand wringing head shakers & all of us bury our heads in the sand, we may as well tell each other that the Holocaust never happened.

 

I am not saying things never happened.

I am not saying we should ignore allegations

I am not saying things should be 'brushed under the carpet'

 

I am saying that if there are serious allegations to be made, which might involve legal investigation or action, then this is not the place to make them, and doing so could jeapardise the chances of a proper outcome under the law.

 

I'm saying no more on this.

 

Col

 

 

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I was invited to put my childhood memories on record for the Scottish Government's archives. I did so because I think it is important to ensure that history is recorded by those who lived it and not just the official biographers who may be using rather a lot of second-hand and hearsay material.  The recording session was quite strange - I was told to think back to my early memories and just say whatever came to mind.  It was all recorded and eventually edited but the final product included almost all of what I had said - which was nice :)

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1 hour ago, Compo said:

 I think it is important to ensure that history is recorded by those who lived it and not just the official biographers who may be using rather a lot of second-hand and hearsay material. ....... I was told to think back to my early memories and just say whatever came to mind.  

 

And that is what Nottstalgia should be, people who were there - reporting what they saw.

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15 hours ago, NewBasfordlad said:

At her asking I have committed my memories 1954 to 2016 to disc giving anecdotes on the social norms of the time and how they reflected on my life in a working class family.

 

Nothing to do with this discussion but I am reading a book , when I have time, about life during the war. I was born in '42 so can't remember any of it but did see the after effects and disasters it left. The book " Nella Lasts  War" is a series of  diaries which account for the type of life she led during the war years. It was more interesting for me because the diaries were about Barrow in Furness  where I was born. Everything that was mentioned including the shipyard and Walney I knew exactly where they were. I was  4 when we came to Nottingham but went back for many holidays to stay the school holidays with my grandparents. There was a film on english tv . I missed it but caught the credits at the end and saw Barrow so my ears pricked up. Its a very emotional and fascinating account I love it. So well done to those who have put their memories on record it will bring a lot of pleasure to future generations who lived through it and told it how it was.

Whilst ironing this morning I was watching a documentary about who knows but I was amazed at some of the comments made such as...so and so couldn't afford to give his brother .......and so and so said to his brother etc. This was in 500 and something. How the devil did he know that. So is history really true?

 

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I'm have mixed feelings about publishing allegations of wrongdoing. Three friends and I were 'fiddled with' by someone in our pre pubescant years at Clifton. It serves no purpose now to name names, if he's still alive he will be well into his 90s. On the other hand I often read of people who are relieved when such things come to light and justice takes its course. They realise they are not alone and have some sort of closure.

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History is true, but different presenters, authors and of course notable historians put their own personal slant on everything.

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