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First of all, sorry Compo, I knew it began with a C, got the wrong one to give credit to. And a definite whoopsie to Pam Ayres, I thought I'd read somewhere she'd passed away, Googled it, and found an obit for that name, wrongly assumed it was her. Well, it was early in the morning I did that post, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

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[Seen elsewhere, author not credited]   The outside toilet.   In deep midwinter freezing cold, Walked down the path, feeling bold, Needed to go, just couildn't wait,

Ha, ha ! It reminds me of the old tale of the general during WW1, who asked his radio operator to 'Send reinforcements, we're going to advance'. When the message passed through various stages, it fina

Spotted this Pam Ayres ditty in another group and thought it might appeal to those in here what likes poytrie:   The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look insi

No need to apologise, Kath - I reckon we've all done it at some point.

thumbsup

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The small town up north we lived in for a long time, rumours would fly around, especially if someone was ill. A bit like Chinese Whispers, the story embellished as it went along. My friend heard about a death of someone she knew well, put a condolence card in the mail only to find the person was not deceased after all. She did this not once, but twice, and both times had to beg the girl in the post office to go and get the card out of the mailbag before it went off. Totally illegal, but small towns get away with such stuff. After that, we told her she had to see the body before passing on any obits to others! 

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Ha, ha ! It reminds me of the old tale of the general during WW1, who asked his radio operator to 'Send reinforcements, we're going to advance'. When the message passed through various stages, it finally reached its destination as 'Send three and four pence, we're going to a dance'.

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  • 1 year later...

Just looking though an old mag  "Time to Remember" of Nottingham and came across this verse 

 

Ye Doctors, who more execution have done.

With bolus, and potion, and powder and pill.

Than hangman with halter than soldier with gun.

Than miser with famine, than lawyer with quill.

To dispatch us the quicker, you forbid us malt liquor

Till  our bodies consume and faces look pale:

But mind them who pleases, what cures all diseases,

Is a comforting dose of Nottingham Ale.

Chorus: Nottingham Ale, boys, Nottingham Ale No liquor on earth is like Nottingham Ale 

If she take a glass often, there's nothing can soften.

The Heart of a woman like Nottingham Ale.

 

I don't know if this is a song or verse can any member throw any light on it ? I have never seen or heard it before.

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Is it the song "Nottingham Ale"? I used to have a copy of the song on tape but it is long gone.

 

 

Yes it is! It's the third verse.....Here's the song:

 

https://youtu.be/ZAkCzbdZWCQ

 

 

 

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[Seen elsewhere, author not credited]

 

The outside toilet.

 

In deep midwinter freezing cold,

Walked down the path, feeling bold,

Needed to go, just couildn't wait,

But the wind and rain would not abate.

 

Those powdered walls that made you white,

If you should touch them out of fright,

When a big black spider came to greet,

As you sat upon the cold, hard seat.

 

The sunday paper cut in squares,

Waitng to cut your derriere,

Hung from a nail on the wall,

Something to read whilst in the stall.

 

Alas, the spider's getting near,

Making your time there fill with fear,

Suspense is interrupting the flow,

Should you stay or should you go?

 

Try as you might, it will not come,

So grab a square and wipe your bum.

With one fast move you're out of there,

Brushing cobwebs from your hair.

 

That was terror when I was a lad,

So when they put loos inside, I was glad!

Just be thankful as you pull that chain,

You need not go outside again.

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  • 8 months later...
  • 8 months later...

I have never been a fan of Edward Lear. Even as a child, his poetry didn't appeal to me.

 

Philmayfield could do just as well.

 

This site has a Mod named Cliff Ton,

Whose attributes go on and on.

For its members are rapt

At his skills with a map

And his arrows are second to none!

 

Or....

 

You have to feel sorry for Trogg
Whose missus treats him like a dog!
Keeps him under her thumb.
Feeds him Lassie and Chum.
Like a princess who's kissed the wrong frog!

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Not forgetting our very own Granville...

 

 

The exploits of our Ben are historic
And his capers quite aleatoric.
Whilst delivering bread...
Or a bird in a shed.
There's no female with whom he won't frolic!  :P

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Clean version...

 

There was a young lady from Lincoln
Whom her Aussie friends thought was fair dinkum.
On Witham they'd row
But without her in tow
Because she was so fat, she'd just sink em!

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The one I were thinking of, the last line...

"And the baby were a sky-blue pinkun"!!

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