Suicides I have known


Recommended Posts

If you want to respond to this you may have to be quick before it is pulled! :)

 

1. In 1973, during  my time in the RAF, I had a friend who suffered from depression. He was forever being told by his seniors to "Pull his bloody socks up".  The MO was  waste of space and consequently, one Friday he told me that he was going home to Hull and was going to finish it once-and-for-all.  He didn't turn up for work the following Monday and a few days later we heard that he had gone to the top of a tower block and simply..... jumped.

 

2. In 1989, whilst working for a fridge and air-con company in the North-West there was a young lad on a YTS scheme. He was very small and weak for his age and as a result was relentlessly bullied by the bigger YTS mob.  He was too puny to manage the heavy work involved in commercial refrigeation and so none of the other engineers would take him out on jobs.  His mother found him hanging from the balcony at home one day.  Some time later, my partner's son, who knew the lad, told me that he had said that he liked me because I was the only engineer that ever treated him like a young man instead of a boy.

 

3. In 2009, my former boss was sacked by the national company we worked for.  He had refused to toe the company line on many occasions and by considering the customers before the company he was eventually driven to despair.  After his sacking, he went back to the lab, took the extra bottle of Euthatal (Euthanasia fluid used on farm animals) that I had innocently fetched for him from the supplier the day before; went out to a local beauty spot and drank the entire bottle along with a bottle of his favourite whisky.  There was enough fluid in that bottle too kill an entire herd of cows.

 

4. Who's next I wonder?..........

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I could ever commit suicide, no matter how bad things got. I mean, it would be too difficult. I couldn't drown myself because I'm terrified of water and can't swim. I don't like heights so jumping off a multistorey car park is out. Hate the smell of gas, have a phobia about the sight of blood, especially mine, and it takes me 5 cups of coffee to swallow one tiny aspirin! I'll just have to wait for it to happen naturally, I suppose! :wacko:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I just felt so sad reading about those people that Compo knew, especially the ones who were bullied....... it also brought a tear to my eye reading that the young lad liked you, Compo.  At least he didn't feel totally useless and rejected.   

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry about natural gas Jill it is not poisonous like the old town gas. Now days if you stuck your head in the gas oven, unless you lit a match you would get up and walk away when you were bored.

 

As to suicide like Jill I couldn't do it no matter how bad things got but for a different reason I am a devout coward......

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Suicide what would you do?

In OBITUARIES October the 4th I asks member's what they would do, as a friend of mine found out that her daughters boyfriend had commit  Suicide and  left two small boys just with there mum, 

if you would like to continue reading this  post you will find it in above topic.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I recall discussing this topic with the mother of a young lady I was going out with, around 1970.  She suffered from depression and admitted to considering suicide on numerous occasions. When I queried how she would have the courage to do it, she said that it was an inner battle, not to find the courage to take her own life, but to find the courage to stay alive.

 

I can't understand why people jump off buildings or under trains etc.  There are painless ways to go.

 

I think I once recounted on here how I was asked to look at a neighbour whose parents had found him alone in the house propped up against the TV,.. many years ago.. maybe 1965.  He was dead.  I was about 15. It was a tragic story which I won't rehearse here, but it messed with my head for a long time.

 

A good friend's son took his own life 5 years ago last week.

 

A few years ago I bumped into a former colleague.  I noted she had reverted to her maiden name and tentatively enquired.  She told me her husband had killed himself after being made redundant.

 

And finally, one of my daughter's schoolfriends was a highly talented young lad who lived very close to us. He was immensely popular.  Everybody loved him.  But, he suffered from depression.  He had married and had a child.  He hung himself a few years ago.

 

The thing is that most of these poor people were known to have issues and some were getting help, but they still took their lives.  I don't know the answer, except that we need to improve the available support and also the identification of potential victims.  And we all need to move on from the 'snap out of it' mentality.

 

Col

 

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I had two cousins commit suicide at different times one on my mothers side of the family and one on my fathers side,they didn't know each other, the one on my fathers side had two young boys,a good husband with a good job and she herself had a very good job, found hanged at home,reason for suicide  unknown,the other one was a young lad,late teens early twenties,not sure of details but another woman involved somewhere a long the line,jumped to his death, both very upsetting for the families and both showed no signs of any serious problems,such a waste of life

 

Rog

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to work with a very attactive young lass that I would say was a bit naive, but in a charming way. She always seemed to be one of life's natural victims with an endless procession of, albeit minor, problems. However, she always seemed to cope well and eventually got married and had a child.

 

Unfortunately she developed post-natal depression, and one day just left the house and disappeared. Despite police searches she was missing for days. Eventually the police enlisted the help of her friends and colleagues for a mass search and her body was found beneath a tree on the edge of a field.

 

Her death still upsets me. I suffered from depression too, and I always wonder if I could have talked to her and convinced her that things pass. Unfortunately, by the time of her disappearance our paths had diverged slightly and I didn't see her as much as I had done.

 

It was a terrible waste, she was such a nice girl.

 

She was raised in a Catholic household, and although I'm not religious, whenever I'm visiting a church or cathedral anywhere I light a candle for her.

 

(Sh*t!! Where's the tissues!)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Any loss of life is a terrible waste AG, and nearly all suicide victims were nice quiet people,we just don't know at the time what they are capable of doing

 

Rog

  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 months later...

When I was 17 i  found pills in my mums bag, it's hard when you realise your mum was planning such an awful thing. That's a long time ago, but it hurts that she would have left me that way.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Years ago when we lived in Radcliffe a colleague of my husbands came to see him. He seemed quite normal and we sat chatting for ages. He eventually left to go home or so we thought. He went to visit all his friends and then committed suicide in the most horrific way. This was because father of the girl he loved didnt think he was good enough for her. ( the father is or was a famous figure in Nottingham)  Cant think of a bad enough word to express what I thought of him.

A couple of years ago my mums husband ( deceased) granddaughter committed suicide. She was bi- polar and had tried it on various occasions. She was always depressed.

Here the suicide trend is frightening. Men killing their wives and children the shooting themselves. Theres an ongoing campagne to stop this horror against women here. Dont know if is working probably not as we hear more and more murders, suicide every day. Its a very sad world we live in. 

Only a couple of months ago my husbands neices husband committed suicide in an orderly manner. He arranged everything right down to the last detail , dressing himself going to a second house they had, writing a letter etc. Incredibile. It couldnt have been in a moment of sadness he knew exactly what to do. He was a nurse.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Back in the late 70’s I’d taken my girlfriend for a Saturday dinner drink to the Candlesticks, a village pub just out of Ilkeston, on the back of my Honda 500/4. Time for a couple of pints before my dad took is to D*rby for the match with Forest.

It was a glorious summer’s day & I was just into my second pint when we heard a commotion.

A couple of minutes passed & a woman came over, we were sitting outside, had a word with the GF & took her away. The woman returned, approached me & asked if I was “brave”.

I asked why & she said that they thought someone had hanged them self.

”What do you want me to do about it?”

”Come & have a look” she replied, so I went inside.

The pub used to be on old farmhouse & the change from the glorious sunshine to an oppressive gloom hit you.

I was told they thought she was in an end room upstairs at the end of a long corridor so I set off up the wooden hill, turned right & towards the end room.

Problem was Hitchcock couldn’t have set the scene better, I got along the corridor, this led to a living area which had a door about 4 feet high behind which were stairs leading to an attic bedroom.

Got to the small door & bottled it.

Back downstairs I explained that people don’t hang themselves properly but asphyxiate so should be cut down. I was handed a carving knife.

Looking round there was one other bloke, hard looking feller, tats on his arms, “you come with me” I told him, so I set off up the stairs for a second time with the hard man a couple of steps behind.

Get to the top, on the landing, look behind & he’s f****d off!

No turning back I put my head down, scurried along the corridor, knife in hand, reached the little door & stuck my head thru’ & she was hanging off the bannisters supported by the stairs.

I quickly started cutting & realised it was an extension lead she’d used.

”WAS IT PLUGGED IN?” I panicked. Fortunately not.

Got back home to be berated by the old man for tardiness. Made the match tho’

  • Like 2
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Know how the young 'small for his age' lad felt; I'm 5 feet 2 as an adult & was smaller as a teen. I was bullied at school, the pit & in the army. My defence was to call them a bully in front of their mates, got me a few biffing's but worth it to see their shame in front of others. It's very scary arguing with someone who is a foot taller than yourself & they seem shocked when you stand up to them. 

 

Never thought of ending it, don't think I'd be brave enough. So tragic when someone does take their own life. An old mate of mine took his life years ago & his sister still hasn't got over it...

  • Like 2
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I know a bloke who after he lost his job to to health reasons then his marriage broke up he took an overdose of sleeping tablets.

Very luckily he was found in time & by expert medical care he only just survived.

Nowadays he is married again with a beautiful wife he adores & got his life back together after a lot of hard work.

This outcome could have been so much different.

Until you or someone you know close tries suicide then please don't judge other less fortunate humans.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought I had posted this before but it doesn't show up in the search results .

 

One of the most bizarre suicides occurred in the Trent in 1901 .

One of the girls involved would actually have been a great-aunt to my wife . However none of her ancestors ever mentioned it and I only found out about it when doing family history research .

 

(This may be a bit disjointed as I've cobbled it together from different sources ) .

 

Saturday 23 February 1901, 


TRIPLE SUICIDE AT NOTTINGHAM.

Extraordinary Death of Three Giris.

The circumstances connected with, the discovery in the Trent at Not-tingham recently of the bodies of three young girls are of an extraordinary nature.

The deceased have been identified as Ethel May Dilks ,aged 17 of Davis Street , Carlton Rd.

Ada Ethel Mason, l4 of Hooton Street 

 Mary Bickley, 15 also of Davis Street.

 

They lived in the Sneinton district of the town, and went out together, the previous night shortly before 9 o'clock. 

 

Dilks had tea at home as usual and then seemed to be in good spirits. Bickley called for her and they left the house, being joined later by Mason. They appear to have proceeded to a solitary spot on the banks of the Trent, and with great deliberation carried out their determination.

 

Two of the girls placed their straw, hats on the ground and the third her cloth cap, near which they deposited, a letter bearing the names of Mason and Dilks, and stating that they had decided to take their lives together, and adding that they desired their relatives to be informed.

 

In each hat was a purse, one of which contained three rings and a farthing, whilst in the cap were two pennies. The unfortunate girls then seem to have bound themselves together by means of long strips of flannel, and, putting their arms around each others necks, they jumped into the water, the bodies when found some hours later being locked together.

No motive can be suggested by tha parents for the rash act. The mother of Mason, it is stated, had heard her daughter on one occasion threaten to commit suicide but no importance was attached to the threat.

 

Bickley had her arms round Mason's neck; Dilks’s arms were round Bickley’s neck, and Mason had her arms round Bickleys waist.

 

The divisional superintendent of police, interviewed each of the parents that next night, but all endeavors failed, to elicit any information suggesting a reasonable cause for the shocking occurrence.

 

Dilks is described as a hosiery hand at Drewry and Edwards,  Bickley a confectioner's assistant, and Mason a machinist .

 

The inquest waa concluded at Nottingham on January 15 1901 .

A letter, in Mason's handwriting, found on the river bank with the girls' hats and trinkets, was to the following effect:-

 

"We have drowned ourselves through Mary and Ethel Mason's brothers and sisters, and Ethel Dilks has drowned herself because she is short of work and don't want to impose on her parents" .

The evidence showed that the girls had been heard to threaten suicide, but no adequate reason was disclosed and the inquiry resulted in a verdict

of " Felo de se"

 

At the funeral , great crowds lined the route . They were buried at St.Catherines cemetery .

The inscriptions on the brass plates were simple  

ADA ETHEL MASON. Died January 11th, 1901, Aged 14

ETHEL MAY DILKS. Died January 11th, 1901, Aged 17 years.

MARY BICKLEY. Died January 11th. 1901, Age 15

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

How strange. Although, in an age when we are told suicides among teenagers are increasing, perhaps it isn't as strange as it sounds. Teenage years are, and possibly always have been, a time when problems can be seen as being out of all proportion due to hormonal changes in the body but very sad all the same.

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

The 3 young girls DavidW is talking about had evidently planned what they did. Indeed, it appears to be some type of suicide pact, not a spur of the moment decision. Yet, it appears that none of them gave cause for concern to their relatives, apart from one apparent threat to end their lives. It just goes to show that you never know what is going on in someone else's head.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/2/2018 at 8:21 PM, Compo said:

4. Who's next I wonder?.........

 

Since I strated this thread memory has returned a further two suicides I have known. The first, a chap in is thirties, worked for the same company as me. His was single and frequently depressed; often threatening to "bloody-well end it all". One day he did just that....he jumped off a bridge in front of a train. The poor train driver would not have had a chance of missing him for the train was doing around 70mph at that point. 

 

The second, a far less sad tale, was a fellow who, towards men, was a jolly good pal and one of the lads. He was a Mountain Rescue team leader and always the  life and soul of the pub after practice or a rescue.  However, he was not so kind to women, who he liked to control.  He would rent out a room to women and part of the conditions of let would be that they would 'help' with the washing and cooking. Of couurse, help turned out to be do it all.  None of them lasted very long before having major fall-outs with him...for obvious reasons.  He eventually married and of course, treated his wife like a slave. She left him on a couple of occasions but returned to him when he threatened suicide if she didn't return.  Each time he would continue with his controlling attitude until one day she finally left for good.  He threatened suicide as per usual but it cut no ice on this occasion.  Forced to take action after having his bluff called, he took a load of paracetamol with a bottle of whisky, no doubt to scare her into returning.  Alas, he choked on his own vomit and was discovered several days later on his settee, stone dead.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The latter sounds like a fairly typical control freak. They tend to appear in public as Mr Wonderful whilst beating their wife to a pulp in private. I've met several women who were married to such spineless creeps. One such slimeball was a pillar of the local church where everyone thought he was marvellous! Little did they know.

 

I would encourage any woman in that situation to get out and turn a deaf ear to threats of suicide. Such men will never change and thrive on making women's lives a misery. My grandmother, Kate Sparrow, knew how to deal with such bullies. I still have her carving knife and I wish it could talk!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...