This is VERY rude!

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My 70th birthday today, and whilst having my first cup of tea of the day, the Muse struck!

Warning: This is very rude, and, of course, grossly exaggerated!


70th Birthday Blues

Woke up this morning

Feelin’ kinda glum

Achin’ shoulder, achin’ legs

An overactive bum



Oh get me down ma bus pass

I feel like movin’ on

I know I got ma wallet

But where’s ma glasses gone?


I stumped off to the bathroom

To have myself a pee

An’ I saw this ancient, wrinkled guy

Glaring back at me


I got a lovely pair o’ t**s

But need a hearing aid

My stomach’s like a melon

An’ my d***’s in constant shade


At least I got ma own teeth

All paid for, every one

But when I want to find them

I gotta put my glasses on

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