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LOL - you have spent too much time in Florida - EVERYTHING is slow there!

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That puerile, vacuous, inane, unfunny, callow, infantile Michael McIntyre (and tautology!)

#247: How about one of these:

This "Taking The Knee" malarkey, before every football match & sporting events, once was enough, but every match, NOW STOP IT 

I do notice on my going back and forth across the pond, that all the checkout operators in the UK are sitting down, and in the US are standing up. I've never seen anyone sitting down here. And, I actually think the UK ones are slower with the scanning. Well, they are in West Sussex!

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I've been here almost 27 yrs now and they were standing up before I came. It makes sense at Safeway anyway, the checker also packs your stuff in a plastic carrybag which is low down on a shelf so it's easier for them, as well as the person at the end of the conveyor belt who also packs. Safeway has a policy where the checker always brings the first bag packed round to your trolley and puts it in for you, so it's easier when they are standing. They also say 'thank you Mrs James' which they have to do, as your name is printed on the receipt if you use their loyalty card. Having said all this, they are bloody expensive, but we have one supermarket in town so they have the monopoly.

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No, sorry, that's the wrong answer - give him a cabbage. Eamonn Andrews. Double or drop.

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David Cameron's 'In my dreams' speech "I like poor people; it's really easy to bully them and make them suffer - snigger"

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TOWIE !!!!!!!!!!!!

I've had reason to watch examples of their ignorance twice this weekend, (I've been fortunate enough to avoid them till this point in my life) How can people that stupid have lived this long ?

Example :- Yesterday on "Splash" Tom Daley is talking (jokingly) to one of the thick tw*ts as they stand together on the 10 meter board. "Welcome to my second home" Essex boys reply "What, you live up here?"

Example 2 :- Essex girl after she comes off after stumbling in 'Dancing on ice' "I couldn't help it , it's really slippy out there"

As Vernon Kaye put it, "A waste of organs"

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