Recommended Posts

Last week I went back to Doncaster for the first time since I moved back to Nottingham. I must admit I had been putting it off, didn’t know how I would react to be honest and wondered if it might make me think I had made the wrong decision. But the shop I used to work at is closing next week so it would be the last chance to see the people I worked with so I bit the bullet. Treated myself to a taxi there, my friends husband said he would bring me back. The taxi driver smelled delicious and was very entertaining all the way there. Gave him a big tip! 

First stop was my friend (and previous neighbour) who lived across the service road at the back of my previous house. It was strange walking past the house, the curtains and blinds were still mine. Went into my friends garden to be greeted enthusiastically by her German Shepherd, good job I had remembered her treat. Had a good couple of hours catching up with everything. I could see my old back garden from her front room, I could envision my late husband flitting about from the garage to the house, he was always doing “projects” in the garage.

Then I walked down to the shop I had worked in. I had texted the manager to let her know I was dropping in and when I got there all the people I had worked with were there. It got quite emotional with lots of hugging and a few tears shed.

Then on to another friend whose stepdad had passed away the night after my husband. It was so good to see her, she hasn’t been well recently and hasn’t been able to get down to see me. We do text and speak on phone but it isn’t the same as seeing her. I do miss her a lot. We went out and had something to eat and never stopped talking. Hopefully she is going to come down for Goose Fair with her son and stay the weekend.

There are some of my husbands relatives there, but we didn’t see much of them when we lived there unless we went round and since moving I have tried to keep in touch but it was always one way so don’t hear from them now.

Finally back to the first friend whose husband was bringing me back, she came with us and when I got back they came in for a bit, the boys made a fuss of them. They were the ones that transported the boys and me down here when I moved, so they had a look round the house without dodging furniture being lugged in. 

I was absolutely exhausted the next day, both physically and mentally, didn’t do much at all.

I am glad I went, it has laid a ghost about my decision to move back and made me realise that this is my home and you take your memories with you, don’t need a house or place to remember. 

 

  • Like 16
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 55
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Last week I went back to Doncaster for the first time since I moved back to Nottingham. I must admit I had been putting it off, didn’t know how I would react to be honest and wondered if it might make

Life does move on regardless of our memories. I must admit I found the area a bit shabby, not that where I am now is posh or anything, I suppose living there you just don’t notice it. It was a (large)

When I started this thread I didn’t really expect to get many other posts, but in true Nottstalgia style it went from visiting old homes to sculleries, people climbing down drainpipes to free meals at

Well done you. I bet it was traumatic at times, but that visit has given you closure on certain aspects of your time there.

I can imagine that it's lifted a massive weight from your shoulders, and has now given you a fresh outlook on your future. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Memories can be extremely powerful, SG, even disabling at times, especially where they involve people who are no longer around.  You were brave to make the trip and I'm pleased that you feel more settled as a result. As you say, the memories are within ourselves and nothing can destroy them.

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you SG., I  must say I  enjoyed reading your post. It was like reading a couple of chapters of a book. I was constantly looking to turn the page and settle down to a good read, a cup of coffee beside me. Are we going to be treated to another instalment? Personally,  I've  not been to Doncaster since leaving the Coal board in 1986. Probably wouldn't  recognise anywhere. All the best, B.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad it ended happily for you. You can never been quite sure how something like that will turn out;  you have to keep your fingers crossed.

 

1 hour ago, Stavertongirl said:

Last week I went back to Doncaster for the first time since I moved back to Nottingham.

How long ago was that move ?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I moved in August 2018. It seems longer than just over a year. I will be going up again I dare say. Feel a bit awful not going to see husbands relatives, his sister and various nieces and nephews, great niece etc. but it was hard trying to keep in contact with them when it was so one sided, sometimes felt I was being a nuisance ringing them and the phone calls got shorter and shorter, always me ringing not them. I did try but you only bang your head against a brick wall for so long before you realise it hurts. My husbands younger brother and his partner have kept in touch, they live in Stoke On Trent. Bit sad really.

I think my relatives here are relieved, they were worried I might want to move back but that chapter of my life is closed now and I have made new friends here. Don’t think I could face another move anyway, it was a traumatic experience, with slow solicitors and then the problems with my new house, which are mostly sorted now,  (except I have a waterfall outside my front window at the moment must find someone to clear the gutters) and the boys are settled in although it took them time. I did always think of Nottingham as home anyway and I now know I made the right decision.

 

  • Like 6
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know which is worse: going back to an area where there is almost nothing left standing from the period when you knew it...the area around Garden Street, in my case...or returning to an area where all the buildings are still in existence.

 

In March this year, when we had the Berridge visit, I was able to see the area round the school which really hasn't changed at all in terms of buildings. The knowledge that I couldn't enter the house where I was born, grew up and spent a wonderful childhood was extremely painful. It was made worse because my mother's family had lived in the house since it was built and so I have all my mother's memories of it in addition to my own. I suppose I tend to think of it as our territory and no one else should encroach upon it.

 

However, time only stands still in our heads. It was also painful to see countless other houses where friends and neighbours had resided and to realise that all had gone. There was not one person left from the days when I lived there.

 

Yes, the rubbish piled up on the pavements, the endless parked vehicles and the sad state of neglect appalled me. Then you remind yourself that this is your first visit in more than 30 years and times have changed.

 

You can go back...but you can't go back. Time moves on and waits for no one.

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Three years ago, I was able to go back inside the house I grew up in... We were just walking past the house - as we do every time we visit Nottingham - and the present owner was doing some weeding in the front garden.  I went over and told him it had been my home and it turned out that he was the person who had bought the house from my parents in 1981 (when they moved from Nottingham to live with us in Cambs)

He invited us in the house for a coffee and we had a look round the downstairs rooms and the garden.   It was very emotional for me as I remembered my mum and dad there.  Some things had changed - the scullery was now part of the main kitchen - but it was still very recognisable.  I told the owners where the air raid shelter used to be and also where my dog Scamp is buried!    I was a bit worried that seeing the house and garden as it is now would override my own memories, but I found that both exist happily side by side in my head!

 

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

Even if I were given the opportunity to look round my old house, I don't think I could cope with it. People regard me as a very unemotional person but that's purely because I don't display it. The flood of memories on standing outside was difficult enough. 

 

The owner of your house was probably very interested to hear of your information, Margie. I would love to hear the memories of those who originally lived in my present house which was built in 1930. It has only had 3 owners, unusually all of them female. Sadly, there is no one left to tell me.  

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

I  too went back to my birthplace as I had done growing up.  Then my grandparents died and also my two aunts.  I had the opportunity to travel with my husband (for work) in that part of the world and I looked forward to seeing all the things I remembered, drinking Sass, walking the beaches on Walney Island, treading through the overgrown land of the bird sanctuary, beach combing , treading for eels , winkling and many other things that I did with my grandfather. But it wasn't the same, the streets were dirty, the ship building industry has all but gone, the coast was how I remembered it but it didn't have the effect it had when I was younger. My biggest disappointment was not being able to drink Sass , we couldn't even find a shop that sold it so we ended up asking the local information centre and (enormous disappointment they don't make it anymore).

We passed my old house and I remembered our next door neighbours who was the local milkman who was always available for an extra bottle of milk if we ran out. Not quite sure I want to go back.

Another thing was I passed my teenage years in Cinderhill on Christina Estate. My dad had landscaped the front garden with waterfalls and ponds It was really lovely but after he died and mum sold the house we were heart broken to see that the new residents had filled everything in and just left it wild.

There were no words to express our anger.

  • Like 4
  • Upvote 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Life does move on regardless of our memories. I must admit I found the area a bit shabby, not that where I am now is posh or anything, I suppose living there you just don’t notice it. It was a (large) pit village and obviously when the pit closed it ripped the heart out and started the decline. It was sad to see.

There was a family who lived a few houses away who had 2 boys who were (terrible thing to say but true) feral. They were one of the reasons I decided to move besides coming home, my friend who lived near me said they are starting to cause problems now. It is a shame as it was a lovely friendly little enclave. I think I got out at the right time.

I didn’t really get emotional about the house, it looked just the same except the fence could do with a lick of paint. Don’t think I would have wanted to have a look round it really prefer to remember it as it was not as it is now.

As I said life, and people, move on I still have “sad” days but I suppose that is normal and they are not as often now. The memories are happy now and less of hospital visits and nursing home. I do still miss my husband, even though he could be a grumpy old s*d at times but then aren’t we all. Whenever I do something new I can hear him say “You go girl show ‘em what you got”.

 

  • Like 8
  • Upvote 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I've returned several times to the cottage I had with my ex. The first time was very unsettling, as my ex had sold up and moved on. I saw the alterations the new owners had made, and was quite upset. I recalled the very happy times I'd had there when we renovated it, and the things we'd done together. I had a few regrets about my actions, and had the odd tear or two in my eyes. 

Did I do the right thing ? I'll never know, but that's life. As I've said previously, 'there are no maps for the untrodden road'. Life must go on.

  • Like 6
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Great thread with some lovely and touching posts.

 

I can't really go back anymore.  The last time I was in England was 1997.  Last trip with my late wife although I didn't know that at the time.  Each time we went I visited the houses where I had lived and the house she grew up in.  Even took video.  The locals probably thought I was checking the places for a break and enter later.

In each case the places and area had changed so much I found it disturbing.  I guess, for me, anyway, you just can't go back. Just too many poignant memories.

 

I just have a stroll down those streets on Google earth, but not very often now.

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, MargieH said:

 Some things had changed - the scullery was now part of the main kitchen - 

 

That took me back in a big way.......I haven't heard the word Scullery for years, but my grandma at Grimston Road always used it. I never heard her say kitchen - and I've never heard anyone else say scullery.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I often go back and visit the house I was born in I have lovely memories of my

childhood there and I always go round the corner to visit Carnie's house too, some wonderful

memories. I wish I had the chance to see inside both houses again.  

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not take the plunge Sue, and knock on the door. The owners/occupiers can only say no. You might be pleasantly surprised and have your curiosity satisfied. B.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Both my grandmas in Old Basford had sculleries. They seemed to be add-ons on the back of the house, and the only things I remember being in there, was a deep sink under the window and a brick -surrounded copper for washing clothes. All the cooking was done on the range in the sitting room. Food was kept in a metal cupboard in the sitting room. I guess there was somewhere to keep things cold but I don't remember where. Perhaps the cellar.

Link to post
Share on other sites

On the rare occasions I visit Gedling , I still love to look at your house SueB as I drive by, it holds some lovely memories for me as well, we went from babes to teenagers together in our Gedling homes didn't we. I have walked past 3 Hardys Drive as well and my imagination and memories can make me so emotional. I too would like to  go inside.  

I would like to wander around the house and walk up the stairs, and run my fingers up the banister and  walls and see if I can imagine I am 5yrs old again.

 

We drive by the house I was born in on Chatsworth Ave, and it upsets me to see the state of the garden, there is a tree that has got far to big it actually covers the pavement. I would love to see if the little cooler cupboard is still there in the garden wall, and the outside toilet and coal hole, hard to believe that in the war days, my Grandma used to keep Chickens and grow vegetables on that plot. 

 

The next house I lived in was on Phoenix Estate, an end house on a terrace of four. We did some Jiving in there didn't we Sue. Mam would be Jitterbugging away. So many laughs. Of the three houses that I lived in during my Nottm years, I would choose Hardys Drive and Chatsworth Ave for a walk around as my sister lives in a house not far from the one I left behind in Nottm, so I can visit her and use my imagination?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Cliff Ton said:

 

That took me back in a big way.......I haven't heard the word Scullery for years, but my grandma at Grimston Road always used it. I never heard her say kitchen - and I've never heard anyone else say scullery.

Our scullery was through a door and down two stone steps from the room we always called the kitchen.  (I always used to jump down those steps!)

In the scullery was a sink and draining board,  a dolly tub , a copper boiler and a mangle (until mum got a twin tub which replaced the last 3)    There was also a gas cooker where she did all the cooking.

The room we called the kitchen had a table and chairs where we had breakfast and there was a coal/coke boiler to heat the water.  There was a walk-in pantry off the kitchen - it had a meat-safe on a stone shelf.

Getting emotional again.... I'll have to stop!  

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Our house had a walk in pantry with a stone thrall, as it was termed. The cheese dish, butter and milk were kept on there.  Emily at Garden Street always referred to the scullery rather than the kitchen.

 

My mother could just recall a cast iron range in the back sitting room at Bobbers Mill but her mother never used it, preferring her New World gas cooker in the kitchen. The range was replaced by a cast iron fireplace with deep red glazed tiles and brass studs. It also had two ovens at the side which were never used either.

 

I remember running my fingernail along the iron frame as a child and watching the Zebo black lead come off!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Anybody remember the program,  " All our yesterdays"? On Denton street our little two up, two down didn't  have a kitchen, we just had a front room and a back room, ( this had a tiny pantry ? with only a shallow sandstone sink, which was daft because we didn't  have a tap. The only other items were three shelves, so it was used to store bits in. Up until I  were about 11, often used to climb out the bedroom window and scramble down the drainpipe.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Beekay said:

Anybody remember the program,  " All our yesterdays"?

I do indeed, Beekay. Whenever we went to visit Ted and Kate Sparrow, that programme always seemed to be on.

 

When it wasn't on, Ted would recount his adventures in the Royal Artillery during WW1, whether anyone was listening or not!

By the time I was 10, I felt as though I'd lived through WW1 and WW2 because it was all anyone ever seemed to talk about!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...