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Margie is right. I keep popping in to see how you all are. Thankyou all so much for your posts.   I'm afraid we are not very well the pair of us. This must be the 'Long Covid' that we hear a

I really wish that more people were afraid. For their own safety.    I don't think anyone who hasn't witnessed in reality a person down on their hands and knees gasping  with a chest full of

Am in total dismay at the human race. It's becoming more like Mad Max at the moment.        This me me society we have created cares only about themselves: I'm alright Jack, the rest of you can f

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I’m sorry, I’ve been on the pop already this evening, just carry on and I’ll observe proceedings until I can offer constructive comments.  When and where are we having the Party Conference btw?  

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As minister of Arts, I propose we invest the Tesco vouchers toward the cost of establishing a Nottstalgians committee room/library. An application to the lotteries commission for substantial donation towards a picnic table and stools, so said Nottstalgians  could attend meetings and discuss who should be promoted and who deserves being pilloried. The agenda could be left open to additions.

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Lizzie, Seeing as the Party Confetence is all going to be on Zoom this year,  it doesn’t require us to gather anywhere except in our own homes... bit boring really (except you can be nosy and see what books people have got on their bookcases or the colour of their curtains etc.)

....and who is the leader of our glorious party?  Brew?

 

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Lizzie, it would take too much organising as - for security and data protection reasons - I’d need to contact each of you by email,  WhatsApp or text to send a link for a specific Zoom meeting and I am not privy to that information.   If it’s not done properly, we’d get various ‘guests’ joining in and listening to all the conversations.  I’m really feeling like the Home Secretary now with all this talk of security and protection!

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59 minutes ago, MargieH said:

.and who is the leader of our glorious party?  Brew?

 

 

As you will have noted Home Secratary I am chief bag toter and guffer.

 

The proposal for Jomab - he  was cosidfered as chief scientific officer and creator of posh smells but sadly failed on eligibility.

The honourabble Minister for Arts will be notified in due course regarding the passage of his  stools

The home secretary mandating a Zoom conference is taken under advisment, horrible  members sans ipad should apply to the Chancelleor for expenses towards the cost of an Etch a Sketch. Use of the contribution for chintz curtains will be frowned upon.

 

 

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The minister of arts will accept nothing less than a full clinical examination of said stools! The results to be published in the personal column of the N.E.P. or delivered to the Honourable members in a plain envelope.

Your servant sir.

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Which pub were you all in? Hope you didn't go over the limit and kept your distance without swaying or staggering.

 

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As chief toter and guffer I note the orrible arse ministers demand for delivery of his stools in envelpoes and hereby tender my humble resignation. I wish to spend more time my family and possibly heed the mister fer educashuns recommendantion  on auntypodeun wine and join the Minster fo internashnul 'fairs in gettin all tired n emotinul an all. yer my bes frends you are...

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7 hours ago, philmayfield said:

Closing pubs completely would push people into drinking at home. It’s a lot cheaper after all. They would probably consume more alcohol and behave even less sensibly.

 

No I don't!!!

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10 hours ago, Brew said:

I've edited the political diatribe to get at the  gist of your post Col (pleased the back is getting better by the way), and it seems you're being critical of the actions presently in force.

 

Re: my 'political diatribe'.  I prefer to see it as valid observation. I'm not the only one critical of Govt's cavalier channelling of OUR money and OUR future debt into private, frequently incompetent and frequently less than accountable 'outsourcing' companies. This is a known tactic of Tory Govt's since Thatcher and the fact that it is 'within the rules' is no excuse.especially when it is Govt. which makes those rules. Emergency situations are no excuse for Govts to behave dishonestly. I'm sure you would not condone dishonest behaviour by anyone else just because things are a bit urgent.

 

10 hours ago, Brew said:

Partial lockdowns and porous borders are I agree not particularly effective but there can only be two alternatives.

1. Total lockdown and close the borders or 2. abandon any attempt at containing the spread.

One has huge, possibly ruinous economic consequences, the second may result in a huge rise in premature deaths. It's not a question with a correct answer.

 

But I've seen numerous  qualified people arguing for a short 'circuit breaker' lockdown. It doesn't have to go on for months. The known incubation for the disease is a couple of weeks max and it takes the poor sods who die a couple of weeks longer to succumb. So.. somewhere between 2 and 4 weeks. but TOTAL.. followed by much more stringent controls on borders, international travel etc.  I'm sick to death of hearing people moaning about their bloody holidays. People have died.. in large numbers.

 

10 hours ago, Brew said:

10pm closing for pubs? I see no sensible reason for them to be open at all, it's common knowledge what effect alcohol can have on sensible behaviour.

 

Confuse messages, can't argue against that.

 

Agree.  On both.

 

10 hours ago, Brew said:

U Turns. If they did not change and adapt to the situation as they think necessary then the gov would be open to criticism for being rigid and dogmatic by the opposition, again a no win situation.

 

I think you are reaching for excuses here.  This Govt is..by any measure.. a shambles. Many of it's own MPs are well aware of that. The cabinet is composed mostly of formerly failed ministers who didn't have the integrity to oppose Johnson. OK..I won't take that further outside the Politics thread. But.. basically, you see them as 'adapting to changing situations'.  I see them as 'firefighting'.

 

10 hours ago, Brew said:

If we can't think of an answer why should we expect Johnson to? There would be uproar if he went out on a limb and not seek qualified advice - and there's the nub of the problem.

I'm not sure if the 'experts' that are creeping out of the woodwork are saying what the media wants them to say and gain their 15 minutes or if they believe what they say. There are so many variations of expert opinion it's like pick 'n' mix, we choose whichever opinion most closely allies  our own point of view.

 

 

I don't expect anything from Johnson. He's a crook, a liar, a bully, and incompetent.  That much is beyond dispute.

Why do you describe experts as 'creeping out of the woodwork'? That is very loaded language.

 

I think Margie really has understood what I was reaching for and has come up with the germ of a plan. All that is needed is a 'Minister of Separation'.to keep us 'Owds' and other vulnerable groups well apart from the divvies and dumbos who just want to carry on as if nothing is amiss. Got to be far cheaper than paying the national wage bill for zero productivity.

 

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There are many critical of the present situation, it’s not only you and if there are any dishonest dealings they would I’m sure come down on it hard.

 As for future debt, the furlough payments will dwarf any payments to ‘outsources’

 

‘But I've seen numerous qualified people arguing for a short 'circuit breaker' lockdown’,

 

And so have we all but as I observed previously there are many differing opinions expressed, take your pick.


‘I think you are reaching for excuses here’…

 

I prefer to think of it as a valid observation sans vitriol.  In a dynamic situation you can’t remain static. Firefighting, adapting…there’s no difference, it’s two sides of the same coin.

 

Why do you describe experts as 'creeping out of the woodwork'? That is very loaded language.

 

It is loaded language but I’m partly of the view that the press etc. are ‘fishing' to find experts who are prepared to go against conventional wisdom and give them a controversial headline. They are generally unknown, well paid for s few minutes interview and get to see their pictures in the national papers or on TV. The fact there must be some who agree and support the govt actions gains no traction in the media at all.

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Brew is dead right on me failing on eligibility. I took full French citizenship early last year.

 

However, there is one aspect in the scent areawhere I might become useful ( as a foreign consultant) and that is that I was commissioned a number of years ago to create a faecal odour concentrate for use in research into products acting as "bathroom deodorants". This work initially involved extracting the odourous components from the genuine article, analysing them and then blending into a product called "Bathroom Odour". It was for research purposes only, obviously, but it was marketed to manufacturers of air fresheners for use in their development work.

 

As an addendum to the above, I was one of the team that discovered the true odourous component of tom cat urine and its subsequent total synthesis.

 

It's not all pretty smells in my old game, you know.

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3 hours ago, jonab said:

Brew is dead right on me failing on eligibility. I took full French citizenship early last year.

 

However, there is one aspect in the scent areawhere I might become useful ( as a foreign consultant) and that is that I was commissioned a number of years ago to create a faecal odour concentrate for use in research into products acting as "bathroom deodorants". This work initially involved extracting the odourous components from the genuine article, analysing them and then blending into a product called "Bathroom Odour". It was for research purposes only, obviously, but it was marketed to manufacturers of air fresheners for use in their development work.

 

As an addendum to the above, I was one of the team that discovered the true odourous component of tom cat urine and its subsequent total synthesis.

 

It's not all pretty smells in my old game, you know.

 

By 'eck, things you learn on 'ere...

 

Therefore we gratefully acknowledge the esteemed gentleman’s offer. Due to his work of international renown and the  rather convenient geographical distance between us, we duly appoint him to the office of POPE (Principle Official Pong Expert), with immediate effect.

We also grant a mandate to find a solution to the pong from all the BS  emanating from govt front benches. It is a matter of some urgency that we clear the air...

 

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My sentiments entirely Pianoman. A little bit of brevity goes a long way to ease tensions in these trying times.

Now, what can we put you down for, maybe Minister of Musical interludes perhaps? :rolleyes:

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BK You just beat me to it! 
I was going to say that Malcolm seems to have been overlooked in the appointment of Ministers.  
Malcolm, where do you think your talents might lie?   Have we got a Minister for Music?   I think TG has already grabbed the post for Transport.  On a positive note (you’d be able to claim all your expenses for the eateries you visit on your travels!

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1 hour ago, philmayfield said:

If Jonab’s the Pope can I be the Archbishop of Canterbury?

 

See? I knew you'd be trouble... some people.... mutter mutter. mutter mutter,...

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After some considerable and entirely imaginary consultation with the Home Secretary it is my great pleasure to announce TP is to be exalted to Master of the (Pianola) Rolls. Sadly an uncomfortable position as the minster for art has taken the  stool home, says it's his, and won't bring it back.

 

And on a point of order Mr Speaker. Can the right horrible Minister for Art withdrawn his entirety unwarranted and scurrilous accusation that the decision regarding the expenditure of at least one Tesco token over the course of the next financial quarter, is a matter for brevity?

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