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This isn't a new problem although maybe it is now talked about more.  When I was about 17 and coming home alone late one night, I was in a potentially dangerous situation being followed by a man.   I have written about this somewhere on Nottstalgia and the fear I felt  still lives with me.   He even got on the same bus as I did and just kept staring and staring as he sat on the opposite seat to me.   I'd deliberately not sat on a double seat because I felt safer on the side seats.  I was feeling a  rising panic as I realised I had to get off the bus at my stop  and walk alone down Woodthorpe Drive with the brickyards on both sides.  This was before there were such things as mobile phones of course.  I was saved by seeing a group of lads I knew in a chip shop on the top of Woodborough Road.  It was well before my stop but  I quickly jumped off the bus and ran back to the chip shop.  I burst into tears and asked them for help.  Some of them rushed outside and confronted the man who had also jumped off the bus after me.  They apparently chased him and he ran away  back towards town.  

One of the lads walked me home.  I believe that had I not got off the bus when I did, I would have been assaulted.  This may sound dramatic but I KNEW that he wasn't just a bloke on his way home.

 

Even now, at my age, I would never walk across a lonely park by myself and I still feel a sudden pang of fear if a car or van slows down as they pass me..... 

 

i agree with SG - this shouldn't be the case but it is.  I'm sure there are far more good men in the world than predators and Idon't think a curfew would be the way forward for lots of reasons

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You don't have to be out late at night for a man to try it on (for want of a better phase) I was at home with my 2 young  boys . I had only being married about 5 years, my age was about 28, An uncle of mine was driving lorries and he had a pick-up near where I  lived.  Me being me ask him if he would like a coffee, as it was near dinner time, did not see any danger as he was my uncle. My two boys were up-stairs when my uncle pinned me to a wall. I did kick him where it hurt as best I could. as it was nothing happened he just left, but the thing i can rememer as he was quite a big chap, was his heavy breathing and his nostills going in and out just like a bulls. To this day I will never for-get, I think that I was very lucky.  I later put a letter to-gether and told him in no uncertain terms he sould not see me ever again. Did my aunt or his own 7 children  see the letter I don't know and I did not care. Must addmit I was not sorry when he passed away.    To this day I have never told my husband or any one else. 

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Oh dear Mary, that was too close to home, I’m sure you were delighted when he popped his little clogs!

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Thanks membrs all in the past now.

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When I was teaching Hair & Beauty one of my mature student came to me and ask if she could have a quiet word. As we sat down tears came into her eye's. I have a real problem she said,  I ask her to tell me about it so I could help. Then what she told me was a compleat shock.  Her little girl was 3 years old and she thought that her father in law was doing unjust practies abuse with her daughter. I took her to see managment but i never did see her again so I can not say what happened. 

 

What would you have done in this case?

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I think I'd have asked her what evidence she had or what she'd seen or anything her daughter had said or done or any physical signs and then told her to report it to the police.  You were in a very difficult situation, Mary

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It's all pretty much been said.  Women and girls should be able to walk alone where and when they want and in complete safety.  But, we know that we are a long way from that being the case, so it seems to me that sensible precautions should be taken.

 

44 minutes ago, mary1947 said:

What would you have done in this case?

 

Difficult.  When I worked as a Careers Adviser in schools I once had a 15 year old school girl come to me and tell me that her step father was hitting her. ( Mercifully, there didn't seem to be any sexual motive) I had to tell her that I had no option but to report what she told me. I did so and it was all pretty soon out of my hands, but I was at least reassured that the issue was investigated by the proper agencies. I never found out more.

Another, younger girl, in a Special School, told me something even more worrying.. though I can't recall exactly what it was now.  I went to her form teacher and asked him if the school was aware.  He immediately started panicking and blustering.. telling me he couldn't say anything.  It took me about ten minutes to get through to him that I only wanted to know one thing...  I only wanted to know whether the school was aware of the girl's allegations and was appropriate action taken.. or in place.. because if it wasn't.I needed to act.  Finally he told me the school was aware and appropriate action was in place. This points up another issue, which is that a lot of 'professionals' are unwilling to share info..for fear of breaking Data Protection or whatever.. This is not always helpfull..  As I recall one of the excuses Humberside (?) Police gave for not passing on info about Ian Huntley (The Soham Murderer) was that it would breach Data Protection.  In fact, Data Protection places an obligation on anyone to pass on information for the purposes of preventing an offence. 

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Mary you followed best practice - still in place!

Any disclosure should be referred on to the Designated Safeguarding Lead usually a member of the Leadership Team.

These days it would be recommended that you keep your own record of who you told and what you told them.

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On much lighter note. At 77, I still chase women but alas, it's  a bugger when they have to stop and wait for me to catch up ! :( When I do catch them and they say, "Oh yeh, didn't you go to school with me Dad?"

(Only chucked it in to soften the mood).

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9 hours ago, annswabey said:

I think I'd have asked her what evidence she had or what she'd seen or anything her daughter had said or done or any physical signs and then told her to report it to the police.  You were in a very difficult situation, Mary

Thanks for the answer but i did not want to get to the state that I would heve been the only other person who knew. So i'm sorry to say that i just passed it on.

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Any allegations of abuse or inappropriate behaviour should be reported to the relevant authority, it's up to them to investigate. 

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