HRH Prince Philip Duke of Edinburgh

[DJ360 6,335]

  I had a prior engagement anyway Phil.... watching paint dry.

[Cliff Ton 9,935]

I suspect that if Philip could see the coverage he's getting (and maybe he can), he'd be the first to make a sharp, sarcastic comment about it being a waste of time.

[radfordred 6,278]

Only gone & cancelled the footie 

 

[philmayfield 5,343]

I read that the Duke’s coffin is being carried to the chapel by a specially adapted Land Rover he designed himself. Having experienced five of their vehicles in past years I hope he makes it before it breaks down! Far better to go by Mercedes!

[philmayfield 5,343]

I’ve just listened online to the Poet Laureate’s tribute to the Duke. I thought poetry was supposed to rhyme but apparently not! What a load of rubbish! I’ve never rated this guy as a poet but then what do I know about poetry?

[Jill Sparrow 9,563]

Well, maybe not a lot! Poetry doesn't have to rhyme. It's not obligatory.

 

I've not listened to this particular offering as I'm not really interested but I'm sure that great advocate of rhyming poetry, so well known to us all, His Grace The Dalai Chulla, he of the saffron robes, will have prepared a more suitable offering with which to greet the DoE!  If he tells me what it is, I'll let you know.

[philmayfield 5,343]

There have been some outstanding Poets Laureate but this guy just doesn’t do it for me. I like poetry to rhyme in that it shows a certain skill in finding an apposite ensuing line. Prose or blank verse requires much less ability.

[Brew 5,007]

If poetry doesn't rhyme, is it still poetry?

[philmayfield 5,343]

I though it was prose. We have got a prose laureate. It must be a bit of a pain having to spout a load of spontaneous, appropriate waffle every time there’s a state occasion. You really need time to compose something meaningful.

[Jill Sparrow 9,563]

For the Phil...istines amongst us.

 

 

Holy Orders

 

 

An early morning summons
From The Master of All Fates
Caught the Dalai Chulla napping -
Tut! Chief Bouncer on the Gates!

 

"Now, pay attention, Chulla!
Pin back yer tab 'oles, please!
What's up? Yer got a monk on?"
(MOAF speaks fluent Radfordese!)

 

"There's a new boy on his way here.
On Earth, a VIP.
But, as yer know, once through them gates,
Yer all the same to me.
Hindu, Buddhist or Muzzie,
RC or HRH
It's what you are, not who you were,
Regardless of your faith.

 

"So, give young Phil a welcome.
Be showing him the ropes
And when the wind's back in his sails,
We'll see how well he copes.
No rookies in the crow's nest.
No need for cash or bank.
No wife to get wrong side of, so
No need to walk the plank.

 

We don't have shooting parties here
And hunting's also banned
But we have free speech- say owt you like,
That's by Divine Command!
We're not dour and sanctimonious,
That's just a specious rumour.
For no one makes it through them gates
Without a sense of humour.

 

"Well, buzz off now, young Chulla, youth
And do the meet and greeting.
He'll find that after ten decades on Earth
We take some beating.

 

I'm not a fan of uniforms, it makes us look elitist.
He'll have to hand the gongs in, too,
I don't think that's defeatist.
I'm having no more saffron robes.
Don't want to start a fashion.
A suit from Savile Row will do
If that fulfils his passion.

Make sure you swap Phil's scrambled egg
For suitable apparel...and
When all the rum's been drunk tonight,
It's his turn in the barrel!"  

 

[Brew 5,007]

Excellent...

 

[philmayfield 5,343]

Who needs a Poet Laureate when Jill’s here? Very good. All my poems start with ‘There was a young lady from ...........’

[Jill Sparrow 9,563]

At my father's funeral, which I conducted as he had no religious convictions whatsoever, I was tempted to recite his version of It was Christmas Day in the Workhouse. He would have loved it but I was not allowed to. My mother forbade it!

 

My father believed that no one should take life too seriously. If you did, you were in serious trouble. I think I succeeded in ensuring that no one left the crematorium without a grin on their face. He would approve! 

[philmayfield 5,343]

All of the funerals I’ve attended in recent years have been secular. We’re not even having one. Straight to Crem and no ham tea  are our specific instructions.

[MargieH 7,393]

The commentator doing the Duke’s funeral didn’t do his homework when he mentioned straight afterwards the powerful passage from ECCLESIASTES.  It was actually from 

ECCLESIASTICUS which is in the Apocrypha, not the Old Testament.  Not that it matters but if you’re doing an important job like that you should really get your facts right..:

I think someone must have put him right because when he was chatting later with 2 other commentators, he didn’t say where the reading was taken from.

However, it’s not as bad as my auntie’s funeral where the vicar repeatedly called her by the wrong name all through the crem service!

[DJ360 6,335]

Sure I've related this before.  Some half remembered documentary on the telly years ago.. about 'working class folk in't 'north'. 

 

A chap who was a fixture at the local working man's club popped his clogs. He left instructions.. and modest funds, for his mates to organise his funeral.  It went along the lines of 'Get 'Arry the joiner to buy two sheets of 8'x4' chipboard and knock up a box. Stick me in it and put me in the back of Bert the Butcher's van and take me to the Crem. Get me burned and then p!$$ the rest of the money up the back wall of the club...

 

And why not?

 

P.S.  I don't much care whether poetry rhymes or not.  Poetry and verse are not always the same.  Almost anyone with a grasp of a language, can write verse in it.  Writing poetry ..is in another league.

[Oztalgian 2,851]

On 4/12/2021 at 3:26 AM, philmayfield said:

I read that the Duke’s coffin is being carried to the chapel by a specially adapted Land Rover he designed himself. Having experienced five of their vehicles in past years I hope he makes it before it breaks down! Far better to go by Mercedes!

Your comment about Mercedes got me thinking about vehicles especially quality and reliability. I agree with you about reliability, Range Rover here has a terrible reputation for reliability, mainly electrical and electronics.

It is a different story when you look at the number of recalls each brand has had. Since 1986 Land Rover have had 105 recall notices issued and Mercedes has had 256.

I know that many recalls are instigated as a result of supplier issues (e.g. Takata Air Bags) but a lot of recalls are a result of assembly plant issues. Interestingly Rolls Royce have had 12 recalls over the same period.

[DJ360 6,335]

21 hours ago, philmayfield said:

All of the funerals I’ve attended in recent years have been secular. We’re not even having one. Straight to Crem and no ham tea  are our specific instructions.

If I recall correctly H.G.Wells described a 'ham tea' very humorously in 'The History of Mr Polly.'.after Polly's Father's funeral.  I seem to recall Polly..muttering the phrase 'funererial baked meats' to himself.. though I can't find it in the book..so it may just have been written into the script of the John Mills film. It's certainly the sort of thing Polly might have said.

[philmayfield 5,343]

It’s usually at the ‘ham tea’ when the fights break out. Old squabbles rise to the surface and the distribution of the deceased’s assets can be a bone of contention. It’s virtually guaranteed at Irish wakes. I wonder if there was a punch up at the Duke’s reception?

[Brew 5,007]

11 hours ago, Oztalgian said:

1986 Land Rover have had 105 recall notices issued and Mercedes has had 256.

 

Mercs have 70 different models...  Land Rover have 4, at a rough count that's 4 per for Merc and 26 for LR...

[Brew 5,007]

3 hours ago, DJ360 said:

'funererial baked meats

 

Hamlet act 1 scene 2...

[Jill Sparrow 9,563]

Wonder whether the DoE will be stalking the battlements, looking for Charles, ...."I am thy father's spirit..." ?  The play's the thing!

[DJ360 6,335]

7 hours ago, Brew said:

 

Hamlet act 1 scene 2...

Thanks Jim..

Then I assume the words were lifted and worked into the film by the screenplay folks.  I'd imagine Shakespeare was just about out of copyright by then..  Also.. I'm pretty sure I distinctly recall the word as 'funererial'.. not 'funeral'.  Funererial would align perfectly with Polly's habit of distorting, mispronouncing and generally playing with words and phrases.

 

10 hours ago, philmayfield said:

It’s usually at the ‘ham tea’ when the fights break out. Old squabbles rise to the surface and the distribution of the deceased’s assets can be a bone of contention. It’s virtually guaranteed at Irish wakes. I wonder if there was a punch up at the Duke’s reception?

 

Hmm.  No such thing at my paternal Grandmother's funeral because she was quietly disposed of before anyone informed my Mum...or any of us.  My Dad had pre-deceased his mother by a couple of years.  Despite me being reliably informed that my Dad's share of the loot would be split evenly between me and my siblings.. in that event.. the will miraculously changed.. while my Grandmother was in a care home with dementia.  Story of my life.

[Oztalgian 2,851]

13 hours ago, Brew said:

Mercs have 70 different models...  Land Rover have 4

Brew, the number of models is not a valid measure. Recalls are a measure of individual events or "Things gone wrong" with their vehicles regardless of the number of variants or quantity of vehicles produced.

Mercedes produces 31 models some of which are the same just have different bodies i.e. CLA Shooting Brake, CLA Coupe and CLA-Class.

A car company can have 1 model and that model have many variants in engines, trim and features.

They are currently simplifying their product range into 4 platforms only. Platforms are the basic underpinnings on which the rest of vehicle is based.

[Brew 5,007]

Oz, Mercs are made in many different countries  and on different production lines. Having a range of variants made across the globe will, almost by definition, raise the prospects for error. At the end of the day I still wouldn't swap my Merc for a Land Rover no matter which model...