Croquet

[philmayfield 5,504]

Does anyone play croquet? Whilst I was mowing the orchard this afternoon I thought the central open area would make a good croquet lawn. There’s loads of room for a regulation 26.3M by 32M lawn but it’s not billiard table smooth and that would take a long time to achieve. Perhaps we could call it ‘crazy croquet’. Believe it or not I do have a complete croquet set in stock that I bought on a whim many years ago and it’s never been used. I would imagine you could enjoy a convivial summer’s evening with a few friends and perhaps a very small glass of wine. I’ve seen the lawn at Highfields and it’s superb. I believe they’ve held the national croquet championships there. Mine would be much more ‘agricultural’. All I know about the game is from what l’ve read in Alice in Wonderland. Lewis Carroll shows it to be a totally totally absurd pastime. That strongly appeals to me!

[MargieH 7,423]

So can we have tne next meet up at yours then Phil?  You don’t need to supply food or drink - we could  all go to a local pub first, then dawdle over to yours for a totally absurd game of croquet.

I AM NOT JOKING

[philmayfield 5,504]

Sorry, my local doesn’t open weekday lunchtimes and we have no facilities for the elderly and infirm here.

[siddha 801]

A good idea Margie though the wine ration needs attention.

 

[philmayfield 5,504]

Sadly the facilities here out in the sticks are pretty basic. We only have an earth closet 150 yards away in the corner of the field and that’s surrounded by brambles. It’s virtually inaccessible to those with a walking frame.

[siddha 801]

Phil many of us live in similarly straitened circumstances and are used to hardships of this kind. Say the word and I will bring a bush strimmer and deal with the brambles for you. Walking frames could be accommodated for the few who need them.

[philmayfield 5,504]

I forgot to mention the 12 foot dyke.

[katyjay 4,997]

You also forgot to mention you don't want visitors! Ha ha.

[philmayfield 5,504]

We don’t want strangers in these parts! 

[siddha 801]

WILCO 

I think the message is clear!

[denshaw 2,825]

I used to be a member of the Croquet Club at the University. They sometimes have open days and instructions to the game. If you are near there pop in and see them, they are quite friendly.

[Cliff Ton 10,007]

Digging deep into the depths of my memory, I dug out this from 1969. I'm probably the only person in the world who remembers it.

 

 

[Oztalgian 2,922]

This is our local croquet club, right on the ocean, playing here since 1947.

They also play Golf Croquet, whatever that is.

[philmayfield 5,504]

I’ve been reading the rules and regs of the Nottingham Croquet Club and the rules of the game. I think I’m going to forget the idea of a croquet lawn. I’ve just got too much work on my plate at the moment with no time for pleasure. That’s the story of my life! 

[Beekay 4,398]

Life's tough at the top, innit Phil. That's the price you pay for living in the Fast lane.

[siddha 801]

2 hours ago, philmayfield said:

I’ve been reading the rules and regs of the Nottingham Croquet Club and the rules of the game. I think I’m going to forget the idea of a croquet lawn. I’ve just got too much work on my plate at the moment with no time for pleasure. That’s the story of my life! 

OK Phil I understand Croquet is off now but how about Backgammon?

Fewer folk on the estate though of course the earth closet would still be required.

[philmayfield 5,504]

My interest has been stimulated. I’ve just been to Fiskerton village shop and observed a notice saying that Southwell Croquet Club are organising a croquet taster session in Morton on Sunday afternoon. I shall have to consult my social secretary as I usually spend Sundays in quiet contemplation and worship.

Funny you should mention backgammon. The missing Lord Lucan used to play that game, when he visited the Old Vicarage on our lane, with a previous occupant. It was one of the first places the police visited when he went missing. We still think he lives in the cellar!

[Jill Sparrow 9,670]

In 1935, my Uncle Frank bought a newly built house in Endsleigh Gardens, Beeston. As I've mentioned before, all the residents had a key to open and close the gate that led from Endsleigh Gardens onto Beeston High Road. It was a gated community before gated communities existed.

 

Frank married a woman who had, how shall I put it, ideas above her station. She stood, in my mother's terminology, no higher than a pennorth of coppers and, like many small people, felt she had to make a lot of noise to be noticed.

 

There was quite a large garden at the rear of the property and Frank's wife decided she wanted a croquet lawn. The daughter of a coal miner from Derbyshire, I don't know how much croquet she'd played prior to her marriage but she played plenty after it (she played other games, too, much to her husband's consternation but we won't go into those).

 

My nine year old mother was a bridesmaid at the wedding and was permitted to play croquet when she visited the house. Other members of the family didn't get past the front gate. 

 

Although she lived to be almost a hundred, I never met Frank's wife who was, technically, my aunt. I heard plenty of people express opinions about her, though. Couldn't repeat them here. I often wonder whether she was the inspiration for Hyacinth Bucket.

[katyjay 4,997]

As I was reading your post Jill, I thought of Hyacinth! I love the episode where she bought skis for the roof rack on the car, so the neighbours thought they could ski! 

[Jill Sparrow 9,670]

Received wisdom in my family was that the lady in question had been a maid at Wollaton Hall and had acquired the idea of a croquet lawn from seeing the family play that game. There are two problems with that theory: I don't think the Hall was used as a residence at the time she claimed to have been in service there. I have no idea whether there was ever a croquet lawn at Wollaton Hall. But...why ruin a good story, eh?