Things that pee you off...


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On 9/12/2018 at 11:44 AM, catfan said:

Merry Christmas everyone & a happy new year !

Just to get you all in the mood

 

P1060203.jpg

 

Rog

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When I was over last Christmas, I thought the name had already been changed.

 

It's not particularly "ethnic" (are we allowed to say that?) where I was (southern England) but there were very few references to the word and many places were using the term "winter holiday".

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3 minutes ago, jonab said:

When I was over last Christmas, I thought the name had already been changed.

 

It's not particularly "ethnic" (are we allowed to say that?) where I was (southern England) but there were very few references to the word and many places were using the term "winter holiday".

The snowflakes hate the term "I'm dreaming of a WHITE Christmas" !!

Santa Clause in the future will be a "Gender Neutral" person to keep the snowflakes happy !

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T'was the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?

His workers no longer would answer to "Elves,"
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labour conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur-trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose

And had gone on the telly, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's war-like or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passé;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.

So here is that gift, its price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
 

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1 hour ago, IAN123. said:

We have decided..no turkey..so it will be different.

 

I know mate, the little buggers crap all over the living room carpet   :laughing:

 

Rog

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I went down the square on sunday for the RAF flypast what a shambles I am not moaning about the flypast being called off but the fact that no one had a clue There was no speaker system to inform the public of the cancellation I asked at the RAF stand they were clueless the police likewise A woman next to me in the crowd knew an hour before that it wasnt coming but it seemed beyond the councils ability to inform the crowd All this for the 100th anniversary The council should be ashamed of such a poor effort  meeowed

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Meeowed, I heard about the cancellation on Sunday morning on Radio Nottingham, due to weather conditions.  Did low cloud affect our brave lads ability to defend the country in WW11?   Totally agree that an announcement should have been made, my brother was down in the Square to watch it as well, very disappointing for everyone. 

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Yes, very disappointing. Well done authorities for leaving everyone guessing.  I too was considering paying a visit, and also heard it on Radio Nottm, so I reluctantly had a day gardening instead.

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When you looked at the effort for the likes of gay pride What a shocking indictment of this council no banners people in the crowd didnt know what it was for   All those lives lost   At least the lord mayor got to wear his best hat  meeowed

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Plogging has taken place in Arnold recently, and is thoroughly worthwhile, harmless and keeps folk fit. It's great that some folks take a bit of pride in their area.

You must have good reception if you saw that in Tipperary !

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  • Cliff Ton changed the title to Things that pee you off...

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