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The rules of the Gentlemans game Rugby Union are very simple.


1 Get the ball, run forward and then pass the ball back to a player where you just came from.

2 Every so often when the play stops, bend down near the ground, grasp the genitals of one of your team-mates and shove your head up their arse. The opposition team does the same, then a player will put the ball under this "scrum" to resume the game.

3 When the ball goes out of play down the side lines form an orderly queue of two lines, one of your team and one of the other team near where the ball went out. Throw the ball in between the two lines and grab hold of one of your team-mates in the genital area and boost them up high so they can catch the ball.

4 Repeat steps 1-3 until someone manages to put the ball down behind the line in their opponent's half. This is called a "try".

5 After the try take the ball put it on a little stand and try to kick it between the posts but over the crossbar to score some extra points. This is called a "conversion".

6 Sometimes when you get a "penalty" you can have a go at kicking the ball between the posts again. On other occasions you can kick the ball into touch and repeat step 3.

At the end of the game you add up all the points awarded for tries and conversions and  ........ New Zealand wins.

Given the amount of dubious contact in this game it is obvious that it had its origin in a Public School.

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I understand the rules of American football even less which is supposedly based on rugby rules.



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1 minute ago, MRS B said:

I understand the rules of American football even less

Try understanding the rules of our "football" Australian Rules Football.

Even the players, umpires and our versions of Gary Linneker have difficulty.

We have just started another season which goes on until September ..... YAWN

Coverage on our media goes on ad-nauseum with reports about Fred Fernackerpan having done a hamstring and Billy Longbottom straining and abductor muscle, whatever that is?

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  • Cliff Ton changed the title to Rugby World cup

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