Frank 13 Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Variations on a theme?Happy Birthday to you, You belong in a zoo, You look like a monkey, And you act like one too! You been on the HP Eric???....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
zacsmum 0 Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 not last night but the night before two big tom cats came to my door i went down stairs to let them in and they hit me on the head with the rolling pin i went upstairs to get in bed and they thru the pickle pot over my head Quote Link to post Share on other sites
katyjay 5,085 Posted April 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Rule Britannia, three monkeys up a tree One fell down and hurt his little Willie is a bulldog, basking in the sun Down came a bumblebee and stung him on his Arsk no questions, tell no lies I saw a policeman buttoning up his Flies are a nuisance, bumblebees are worse This is the end of my dirty little verse. We thought this so naughty as kids! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob237 89 Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Vaguely recall a revolting rhyme about "...a dead dog's eye, all mixed together with [something or other]..."! Sure that someone can dot the i's and cross the t's. Cheers Robt P. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Slabber dabber pudding Green snot pie All mixed together In a dead dogs eye Spread it on a sandwich Eat it very quick All washed down with a cup of cold sick Usually the answer to the second sitting kids when they asked "Whats for dinner today" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
katyjay 5,085 Posted April 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 When you were ticked off with someone you'd yell Meany meany mustard Can't eat a custard Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Our version was Mardy mardy mustard Can't eat yer custard 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
katyjay 5,085 Posted April 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2008 Hitler has only got one ball Hess has got no balls at all Himmler had something similar But poor old Goebbals Has no balls, at all. Sung to the tune whistled in Bridge over the River Kwai Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Val 11 Posted April 14, 2008 Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 Little Billy Bates was a naughty boy A naughty boy was he One day when he was walking down a busy thoroughfare He shouted It's coming It's coming All the people started running Asking Billy what was coming When he told them Christmas They clasped him like a drum Threw him in the river It made him shiver He said by gum It's come Val Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob237 89 Posted April 14, 2008 Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 Little Billy Bates was a naughty boy ... Rather worried about the punch line, having read the first line Cheers Robt P. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Val 11 Posted April 14, 2008 Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 Here's another, but not if there are any more words to this one Once a upon a time When the birds jobbed lime And the monkeys chewed tobacco The little piggies ran With their fingers up the bum To see what was the matter Val Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie 4 Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 My friend Billy had a ten foot willy, He showed it to the woman next door, She thought it was a snake, so hit it with a rake, And now his willy's no more 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted April 28, 2008 Report Share Posted April 28, 2008 My friend Billyhad a ten foot willy, He showed it to the woman next door, She thought it was a snake, so hit it with a rake, And now his willy's no more And now it's only four foot four (Regional variation) Our (Insert name here) is a funny 'un Got a head like a pickled onion Got a face like a squashed tomato And legs like two props I use it on my kids and their mummy and they love shouting me down (great fun) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
radfordred 6,284 Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 There was a Bohemian monk Who went to bed in a bunk He dreamt that Venus was licking his elbow And woke up covered in perspiration 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas 11 Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 I went to the picture's tomorrow,I had a front seat at the back,A lady came round with some plain cake with currants in, I ate it and gave it her back, I went straight round a corner, to see a dead donkey die, I took out my knife and shot it, and sent it bow-legged in one eye. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas 11 Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 Hitler has only got one ball Hess has got no balls at all Himmler had something similar But poor old Goebbals Has no balls, at all. Sung to the tune whistled in Bridge over the River Kwai The Music is: Colonel Bogey March Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas 11 Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 Humpty Dumty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpy had a great fall,all the kings horses and all the kings men, had scrambled egg for breakfast. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poohbear 1,360 Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill came down with half a crown...and it wasn't for fetching water. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulus 541 Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 Hickory dickory dock 2 mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one......................but the other one escaped by parachute...................... .I'll get me coat Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EileenH 496 Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 Oh the Grand old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. He marched them up to the top of the hill And he had them all again. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 Hey diddle diddle The cat did a tiddle All over the dining room floor The little dog laughed To see such fun So the cat did a tiddle some more Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulus 541 Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 Old mother Hubbard wen to the cupboard To get her poor doggy a bone, but when she bent over, up jumped Rover!! And slipped her a bone of his own.................................... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,326 Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 Here's one that went with both Skipping and Two-ball: Nebuchadnezzar the king of the Jews (double throw/double under) Bought his wife a pair of shoes (double throw/double under) When the shoes began to wear (double throw/double under) Nebuchadnezzar began to swear (double throw/double under) When the swearing began to stop (double throw/double under) Nebuchadnezzar bought a shop (double throw/double under) When the shop began to sell (double throw/double under) Nebuchadnezzar......Alas, the remainder is lost to history unless someone here can throw a light upon it?. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,326 Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 \snip\ Also on bonfire night or thereabouts, we sang Bonfire night, the stars are bright Two little angels dressed in white. Seems a short verse, was there more? Yes - but I can't remember it; perhaps I'm not senile enough just yet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,326 Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 Girls' chant at boys who stared at knickers tucked into skirts for games purposes: "Bought and paid for, Clean and cared for, If you don't like it, What do you stare for?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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