katyjay

Rhymes from our childhood

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Updated twenty-eighteen 

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall 

The structure of the wall was incorrect 

So he got ten grand from Claims Direct 

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Jack & Jill went into town

To fetch some chips & sweeties 

Now he can't keep his heart rate down 

And she's got diabetes 

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On 1/24/2012 at 4:34 PM, Beefsteak said:

Amazing what Yahoo can come up with (Other search engines are available !!)

Nebuchadnezzar, King of the Jews

Bought his wife a pair of shoes;

When the shoes began to wear

Nebuchadnezzar began to swear

When the swearing had to stop

Nebuchadnezzar bought a shop

When the shop began to sell

Nebuchadnezzar bought a bell

When the bell began to ring

Nebuchadnezzar began to sing:

Doh , ray, mee. far. soh, la, tee doh - I've got a pimple on my toe - that was the last line we sang when I was a child :)

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We used to do skipping to the Nebuchadnezzar rhyme..

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On 4/8/2008 at 10:27 PM, rob237 said:

Vaguely recall a revolting rhyme about "...a dead dog's eye, all mixed together with [something or other]..."!

Sure that someone can dot the i's and cross the t's.

Cheers

Robt P.

Roly poly green snot pie all mixed up with a dead dog's eye.

Spread it on bread, nice and thick and swallow it down with a glass of cold sick!

 

Always made me feel sick just thinking of it lol!

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We sang matter spatter custard and a dead dogs eye.....

 

We also sang 

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

Jill came down with half a crown, but not for fetching water...

 

Mam said 'stop that it's not nice' but never said why...

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Mary Brown from the mountain glen

Screwed* herself with a fountain pen

The pen ran wild

She had a blue-black child

 

And she called it Stephen

'cos that was the name of the ink.

 

*Screwed wasn't the word in the original version.

 

Didn't understand it at the time and was told off on numerous occasions for reciting it - although I did overhear my dad telling it to one of his mates.

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Jonab:

She called the Bast*rd Stephen

She called the Bast*rd Stephen

Seh called the Baaaaaast*rd Steeeephen

Cos that was the name of the ink.

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May had a little lamb,

it followed her to sleep,

The lamb turned out to be a ram,

Now Mary's full of......no wait  - that's probably inappropriate for this thread.

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Mary had a little lamb

It followed her every where

Now it goes to School with her

Between two lumps of bread.

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Mary has a little lamb

It had a sooty foot

and everywhere that Mary went

His sootyfootheput

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Poor old willy

He's not with us anymore

For what he thought was H2o

Was H2 So4.

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On 11/23/2019 at 2:18 PM, Brew said:

Mary has a little lamb

It had a sooty foot

and everywhere that Mary went

His sootyfootheput

Brew my dad used to tell me this one but at the end he would say"""

Mary had a little lamb

It had a sooty foot

In to Marys bread and jam

he put his sooty foot

 

Does'nt make much sense  really.

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Another one of my dads

 

Piggy on the railway picking up stones,

Down came an engine and broke 

piggy's bone's,

Oh !!  said "Piggy that's not fair "

Are said the engine "I don't care".

 

but you do have to grunt and make the noise of  a steam train.

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Mary had a little lamb

she also had a bear

I never seen her little lamb

But often seen her bear

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Mary had a little lamb

She took it to the shops

They went into a butchers 

And came away with chops.

 

Mary had a little lamb

But Mary was a glutton

So Mary sat down and tucked right in

to mint jelly and mutton

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Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water.

I don't know what they did up there

But now they've got a daughter!

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Little Jack Horner,  sat in a corner,  eating his Christmas pie,  he put in his thumb,  & pulled out a plum.... Then his Mam saw  him, biffed him round the tab hole & shouted "EAT YOUR FOOD PROPPER YOU BRAINLESS LITTLE BO**ER!"  

 

 

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