SpeedDemon 0 Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 There have been some quite bad jokes comming out of crackers on occasion, one I like though is: What has 22 legs and two wings? a football team Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 I think that one's older than me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 I think that one's older than me! This wasn't in a cracker. Three surgeons were speaking about the members of society who were easiest to operate on. One said plumbers, because when opened up, they were full of pipes of different sizes so if separated, it was impossible to put them back in the wrong place. Another said no. It was electricians, because their internal workings were colour coded so nothing could be easier when replacing their insides. The third said the other two were wrong because the easiest were politicians because they had only two moving parts. The mouth and the arse and they were both interchangeable Quote Link to post Share on other sites
denshaw 2,871 Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 What did Santa Clause say to his wife when she got the umbrella out? It looks like raindear. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Frank 13 Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Did that fall out of the cracker at your Christmas Party Den? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Limey 242 Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 Speaking of crackers - my extended American family (and friends) always thought the custom of pulling crackers and wearing the silly hats was very strange - so I was very pleased to see that in the movie Pirate Radio, they did the same thing! When I first came to the USA in 1978, crackers were unobtainable - now you can find 'em in Wall Mart! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 Bloody Hell we've given the Yanks one of our traditions, makes a change from Halloween and all these Christmas Lights all over the house !!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Limey 242 Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 I'm doing my best Beefy - but it's a big country and they are very slow learners. I'm working on hot tea and fruit cake at the moment! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 Don't forget the cheese with the fruit cake Eric. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bip 88 Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 Hereās a crackerā¦ā¦.. Q. What did the music teach need a ladder for? A. To reach the top notesā¦ā¦ā¦ Q. What doesnāt get any wetter no matter how much rain falls on it? A. Waterā¦ā¦ I know not great but thatās the best I can do under the stress that I am under at the moment, I will just have to up the dosage. Bip. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
denshaw 2,871 Posted December 2, 2009 Report Share Posted December 2, 2009 What Christmas present can't you beat? A broken drum. !rotfl! It's broke so you can't beat it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedDemon 0 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 There is a joke That has many answers. What is Black white and red all over a penguin with sunburn Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedDemon 0 Posted December 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 One more for you What is round and bad tempered? A vicious circle Quote Link to post Share on other sites
littlebro 234 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 AN invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fynger 841 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 What do you call a boomerang that wont come back ?...... a stick. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
littlebro 234 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 WHAT goes āhee hee heeā - clonk? A man laughing his head off !rotfl! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 What's brown and sticky?..................a stick Quote Link to post Share on other sites
denshaw 2,871 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 What's the difference between Snow men and snow women? Snowballs. !rotfl! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
littlebro 234 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 What happened to the hyena who fell into a pot of gravy? He made a laughing stock of himself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beefsteak 305 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 What's orange and sounds like a Parrot??..................... A Carrot Quote Link to post Share on other sites
littlebro 234 Posted December 15, 2009 Report Share Posted December 15, 2009 Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He's fully recovered. !inthebin! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IAN FINN 808 Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 When is a door not a door ? When its a jar. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
radfordred 6,284 Posted May 16, 2020 Report Share Posted May 16, 2020 Just what the site needs another joke topic, god help usĀ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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