Speak Nottinghamese


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If you want to sing along? Ay up mi duck, ay y got a parnd Gooin darn tarn, meet me at the Lion Vodka through a straw, I'm already pissed up I'll spray some shapes so the girls all act up Gerrup, sta

It helps if you do cryptic crosswords, where a spanner is a bridge, ie, something that goes from one place to another. Also, remember Kenny Everett and his sexy double entendre jokes, such as - Man to Girl " let's get something straight between us".

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Like to think i'm good at General Knowledge so purchased the'....Telegraph general knowledge crossword book' whilst on Holiday,...not as good as i thought i was,......and i'm hopeless at ;Cryptic'.............sometimes finish the 'Sun' one,easy crossword,...lol.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Kids don't talk like that nowadays. It's either straight out of Albert Square, Walford, or downtown Kingston Jamaica.

Either should be punishable by tongue extraction !

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Hi All,

 

My late mother had an expression "standing around like Joss", by which I think she meant being kept waiting if I was dawdling. Has anyone else come across this or similar? I've looked up "joss" on Google (there are no hits on this site) and it seems to refer to good luck or a lucky charm or figure, especially in China.  Why do I want to know? I'm trying to choose a name for a new puppy and Joss came up on a search of dog names. My wife and I rather like it, especially the "good luck" meaning - but how being kept hanging about relates to good luck beats me, though!

 

Ta for reading this,

 

MB

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Joss sticks?  Does the dog smell nice?  Our dog when I was little used to like rolling in anything unsavoury or dead - I think he saw it as a mark of respect or something.  One day at Chapel St Leonard's, he rolled in a dead seagull on the beach and we had to hold him under the outside tap on the caravan site to try and wash the smell away...... unsuccessfully, as we didn't think to use any soap or shampoo.  

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Joss Ackland, the actor, is also called Jocelyn among other first names.

 

I've found another reference to Joss being good luck in a short story in "Sea Warfare", by Rudyard Kipling, called "Concerning Joss" in which he talks about the value of good luck in wartime, in his story the war at sea in WW1.

 

And Joss also may refer to The Boss or foreman, so "standing around like Joss" may refer to a boss who doesn't do much?

 

Smelly dogs! Our last dog, a very furry Beardie, liked deer poo, urrgh!

 

MB

 

 

 

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Manversboy #1

From visits to China,  Joss is a Chinese religious statue or a house idol so I can see where the expression comes from.

Incidentally a Joss Stick is a stick coated with something fragrant and burned before a Joss

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Oztalgian,

 

Thanks for that, I can see the connection too now, but odd how it came to be a piece of British slang unless Chinese idols were common souvenirs?

 

Ta

 

MB

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Since I do not understand this site or how to use it, I will put this here and hope someone can send it where it needs to be!

                     A LESSON IN LINGO!

 

If your dad said he’ll ‘box yer tabs’, would yo’ know woree meant?

Tabs is ‘ears’, box is ‘hit’ so it’s a painful punishment

Its for sure you’ve all bought ‘duddoo’s’ wi’ a bronze threp’ny bit,

They’re sweeties from a ‘tuffee’ shop; does that make sense of it?

No need to mourn when ‘Charlie’s dead’ and nobody shed’s a tear

It’s telling you your slip is showing, now that should make it clear.

Don’t frahn at ‘ayya-bin-dahn’ it asks ‘Have you been to the match?’

And a small round loaf with a crusty top is colloquially called a ‘batch’

Now, ‘ayya-gorra-wi-ya’ shouldn’t cause you strife.

It simply and politely asks, ‘Are you with your wife’?

If asked ‘Can I ey ya coggin?’ and with that you cannot grapple,

They’re only begging for what remains of your half eaten apple!

To the use of that word ‘nunnoo’s’, let’s get you reconciled,

It’s simply the gift of pennies that one gives to a child.

Ask for a ‘cob’ and I promise you you’ll not be given a horse,

Round these parts, it simply means a small bread roll of course!

Now, heard from the lips of a woman, ‘Ooh she’s a ‘stuck up cah!’

She’s not a cow in a field of glue; she speaks kinda ‘lah di dah’!                                             

When in a pub and someone asks ‘oyya-beeya-sen?’

He’s simply curious as to why you’re on your own again.

A knock on the door, you open it, a friend stands there-upon,

And asks ‘Oyya ya mashin’?’ don’t be alarmed, just put the kettle on!

And a ‘clubman’ isn’t someone suffering crippling of the feet

It’s a man who sells stuff at the door and you pay him weak by week.

Now ‘teggies’ are children’s teeth and ‘dannies’ their tiny hands

In a muddle over ‘laggies’? They’re simply elastic bands.

I didn’t write this ditty to imply that you are dumb

It’s to help you understand how we talk in Nottingum!

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  • Cliff Ton changed the title to Speak Nottinghamese

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