colwickite

Members
  • Content Count

    32
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Posts posted by colwickite

  1. Since I do not understand this site or how to use it, I will put this here and hope someone can send it where it needs to be!

                         A LESSON IN LINGO!

     

    If your dad said he’ll ‘box yer tabs’, would yo’ know woree meant?

    Tabs is ‘ears’, box is ‘hit’ so it’s a painful punishment

    Its for sure you’ve all bought ‘duddoo’s’ wi’ a bronze threp’ny bit,

    They’re sweeties from a ‘tuffee’ shop; does that make sense of it?

    No need to mourn when ‘Charlie’s dead’ and nobody shed’s a tear

    It’s telling you your slip is showing, now that should make it clear.

    Don’t frahn at ‘ayya-bin-dahn’ it asks ‘Have you been to the match?’

    And a small round loaf with a crusty top is colloquially called a ‘batch’

    Now, ‘ayya-gorra-wi-ya’ shouldn’t cause you strife.

    It simply and politely asks, ‘Are you with your wife’?

    If asked ‘Can I ey ya coggin?’ and with that you cannot grapple,

    They’re only begging for what remains of your half eaten apple!

    To the use of that word ‘nunnoo’s’, let’s get you reconciled,

    It’s simply the gift of pennies that one gives to a child.

    Ask for a ‘cob’ and I promise you you’ll not be given a horse,

    Round these parts, it simply means a small bread roll of course!

    Now, heard from the lips of a woman, ‘Ooh she’s a ‘stuck up cah!’

    She’s not a cow in a field of glue; she speaks kinda ‘lah di dah’!                                             

    When in a pub and someone asks ‘oyya-beeya-sen?’

    He’s simply curious as to why you’re on your own again.

    A knock on the door, you open it, a friend stands there-upon,

    And asks ‘Oyya ya mashin’?’ don’t be alarmed, just put the kettle on!

    And a ‘clubman’ isn’t someone suffering crippling of the feet

    It’s a man who sells stuff at the door and you pay him weak by week.

    Now ‘teggies’ are children’s teeth and ‘dannies’ their tiny hands

    In a muddle over ‘laggies’? They’re simply elastic bands.

    I didn’t write this ditty to imply that you are dumb

    It’s to help you understand how we talk in Nottingum!

    • Upvote 4
  2. Gotta put me halfpenny in! My teacher many yrs ago, threw a handful of rice on the floor and said that the scattering of individual rice was nowhere near as many as there are stars in our universe and to say there was only one live planet namely earth there was ludicrous. I think she was right. Oh n beings as we are in the midst of another world war, l think we are doomed anyway.....on that happy note l'll go get me tea!

  3. Hi folks. I write for the Nottingham Bygones magazine these days and there is to be a special edition out in July covering the heady mid 1960's days. That was when I worked at the Musters and in those days, last orders were 10pm if my memory serves me, but discotheque's were popping up everywhere  and I've written a column about the days of the Hippo, Society and Pigalle clubs. On Friday nights a flotilla of the in crowds cars headed by Norman Harvey's Rolls Royce set off to one of these after hours clubs. In particular recall Gael Pilkington and his brother Robin who owned a narrow boat moored pretty close to the Boat Club. They often had parties there. So watch out for the column, I hope it brings back some lovely memories for you all.     

    • Upvote 2
  4. An ancient A35! Black of course, with little orange arms that swung out indicating its intention to turn. Hey, have you noticed that even 'old banger' cars back then were so expensive they were bought in hope of lasting forever, but we had to paint black strips along the bottom of the doors to cover the rust? I used to do mine and my dad asked were they 'go faster' stripes? Oddly things that used to last forever, now don't? I have go faster stripes along the bottom of my 3 yr old Hotpoint fridge!

  5. Oh and does anyone recall drummer Nolly Buck? Mad as a march hare. He lived in a house boat on the bend of the river at

    Hazleford Ferry and rigged up a pair of booming speakers on deck to a recording of the Queen Mary's fog warning sound. On an

    autumn night when the mist swirled and covered the water surface, he would wait until he heard a little boat came chuffing up the river and just before it came round the bend, he would play that 'woooo...oooow'[ sound at full blast and frighten the shit

    out of the pilot. Happy days....

    • Upvote 3
  6. Oh yes, Rex you were not much more than a babe in arms when I worked there. I knew Charles pretty well too, he looked like a god with that mound of curly hair. Your dad was not a monster, he was a big huggable bear. I would have done anything for him and

    your mum. There were a lot of complaints in the Post about the noise from the Musters at night and I wrote to their letters

    column saying that music calms the savage breast or words to... and to stop moaning and come and join us. The moaning stopped, at least in the Post. Who would believe that one day I would have my own column in that newspaper.

    Don't think Gael was killed, last I heard his son was in the army and was stationed in Germany, he came home on his motorbike to a family wedding and was in an accident and was killed. He wasn't much more than a teenager.

    Charlie Bartle too was killed in a road accident. We in Equity had a tree planted in his name by the council at a cost of £2000 and within 3 yrs the council uprooted it!! I was furious and did my bad temper dance. I got them to put a brass plaque on the pavement outside the concert hall. Its still there.

    Do you know, I don't have ONE photo from my Musters days. Do you have any I can use in my current book? I could photo copy,return and give you a credit in the book for their use. Joy

    • Upvote 1
  7. Collins Café bottom of Aspley Lane;

    Customer "Bacob cob duck."

    Assistant "Teetin or teet aut?"

    Customer "Tee-tin-ta."

    Assistant "Wiyy w-aut sauce."

    Customer "Wi'"

    Assistant "Reddabrahn"?

    Customer "Brahn ta duck!"

    Eee, it meks yer be praud to be Notts doannit?

    • Upvote 1
  8. A LESSON IN LINGO!

    If your dad says he’ll ‘box yer tabs’, would you know what he meant?

    Tabs are ‘ears’, box is ‘hit’ and it’s a painful punishment

    And I’ll bet you’ve all bought ‘duddoo’s’ with a bronze threepenny bit,

    They’re sweeties from a ‘tuffee’ shop; does that make sense of it?

    No need to mourn when ‘Charlie’s dead’ and nobody sheds a tear

    It’s telling you your slip is showing, that’s that cleared up my dear.

    Don’t frown at ‘ayya-bin-dahn’ it asks if you’ve been to the match?

    And a small round loaf with a crusty top is always called a ‘batch’

    And ‘ayya-gorra-wi-ya’ should never cause you strife.

    It simply and politely asks, ‘Are you with your wife’?

    If asked ‘Can I eyya coggin?’ and with that you cannot grapple,

    Somebody wants what remains of your half eaten apple!

    To the use of that word ‘nunnoo’s’, let’s get you reconciled,

    It’s simply the gift of pennies that one gives to a child.

    Ask for a ‘cob’ and I promise you you’ll never be given a horse,

    Round these parts, it simply means a small bread roll of course!

    Now, heard from the lips of a woman, ‘Ooh she’s a ‘stuck up cah!’

    She’s not a cow in a field of glue, she speaks with a ‘lah dih dah’!

    When in a pub and someone asks ‘oyya-beeya-sen?’

    He’s simply curious as to why you’re on your own again.

    A knock on the door, you open it, a friend stands there-upon,

    And asks ‘oyya ya mashin’?’ don’t be scared, just put the kettle on!

    And a ‘clubman’ isn’t someone suffering crippling of the feet

    It’s a man who sells stuff on the knock and you paid him weak by week.

    Now ‘teggies’ are children’s teeth and ‘dannies’ their tiny hands

    In a muddle over ‘laggies’? They’re simply elastic bands.

    Now I didn’t write this ditty to imply that you are dumb

    It’s to help you understand how we talk in Nottingum!

    • Upvote 1
  9. THE HUNGERHILLS REMEMBERED!

    The bountiful Cherry tree stood over there, a tad to the left of the Comis pear. A gooseberry bush to the right of the shed, and a bit further on, the strawberry bed. Peas and beans climb the strong green net and promise to be the best yield yet. A Bramley apple provides the shade, for the pram in which baby Sandra's laid.

    Mam stands beneath the russet tree, hands down an apple to Eileen and me. I sink my teeth in the rusty skin and juice runs freely down my chin. My dad and brother Mick have slaved under the hot sun they have braved.

    With sleeves rolled up, they've tilled the soil, it’s a labour of love to them not toil.

    Dad's planted cabbages, spuds and beet, careless of the mid day heat.

    Stopping only to mop at his face, before resuming his dogged pace. Mam calls to him to down his spade and come and eat the food she's made

    sandwiches of salmon and 'cumber, soon baby Sandra wakes from slumber.

    Changing her for the fourth time that day, once she’s been fed the breast’s put away,

    wholly content, we'll not hear a peep don't know why they had her, she's always asleep. At the edge of the beck, we drop to our knees, lifting hot face to the water cooled breeze.

    Cupping our hands we drink from the brook, while mam settles down with a fag and a book.

    In the distance we hear the howl of a dog, from the opposite bank, the croak of a frog. This place has a peace we don't want to break, so we cut down our noise for reverence sake.

    Too soon dad turns from friend to foe, calling to us to get ready to go locking the gate with the familiar rattle, we head for home and our daily battle.

    • Upvote 4
  10. When I stubbed my toe and broke it, did I say 'Oh dearie me'? When I lost a huge darning needle and found it two days later with my foot necessitating a hospital stay and an op, did I say 'Oh Bother'. Did I heck as like. I pulled myself up to my full height, which is never more than 5'4 inches even on my best day, and I let forth with every swear word known to man spewing them out in a volcanic eruption of sheer release! Swear words have their place as stress release. It did me the world of good and I think there should be a doctors prescription for it! Excuse me, I am off to see Mrs Brown's Da Movie!

    • Upvote 6
  11. Hi all, JOY JAMES here, so glad to hear from you Rex. I loved and respected your family very much and have fond memories of you all. I loved your old granddad and when he went to live temporarily at the Musters, I spent several days talking to him or rather shouting to him for he was profoundly deaf. He was temperate, the one thing we had in common, neither of us drank alcohol. Those were some of the best days of my life and your dad DID clear the bar and sack the entire work force quite a few times and I am sure I am not the only one to recall that. Fridays were best. Your dad would bundle us all up in his roller and take us to the Pigalle club. Cliff Worrall was a superb singer as well as a good compere. He had a fall out with Norman, I don't know why and walked out mid show. Norman asked me to take over that night and I did but was worried as I had never had to speak to an audience before. But I did my best and he gave me that job that I held for the best part of 2 yrs. It was tremendous grounding for me and stood me in good stead when I left to work the cabaret circuit. 

    I recall regulars Gael and Robin Pilkington who had a boat moored close to the Boat Club. They had some great parties there. One Musters client, a young lady who shall be nameless, had a cute party trick and as she drank more and more, her inhibitions went by the way and she regularly stripped off completely naked. John who held the licence stood to one side with a tablecloth ready to bundle her away. One night she was a guest at the Pilkington's boat party and off came the clothes again, this time someone picked her up and threw her in the Trent! I wonder why Norman never banned her???? He was a shrewd businessman and scooped the best musicians in the city and kept them for years. Drummer Sooty aka Elvis, Gordon, Austin, Bert Hartley, pianists to die for and Pat the head barmaid a stunning good looking woman who stood no nonsense. Remember the drag artiste Johnny Peach? I was to become eternally grateful to him.

    He told me he envied me as I had everything he ever wanted and did nothing with it. I admit I had a corking figure but never thought I was particularly good looking and never wore make-up beyond a slick of lipstick. He thought differently and begged me to let him use make up on me for the first time. I was horrified as he had on false eyelashes 2 inch long! Eventually I compromised and let him do one side of my face. The result was astonishing and I could not wait to let him finish the job. I owe him any good looks I may subsequently have had.

    Some of the artists who appeared at the Musters; running Bear (shoved knitting needles through his face), Jill Ball (unquestionably one of the best jazz singers ever); Tony Kent (Give me a subject and I will tell you a joke about it), Anita Harris (I have the longest hair in the business) IT WAS A WIG! David 'Caramia' Whitfield, Charlie Bartle, Sparti (a very clever artist who drew a sketch of an audience member as a baby and gradually and comically aged it to the present day.) Les Dennis. Bernard manning....oh I shall be here all day... Wonderful memories, thanks Rex.

    • Upvote 5
  12. Yes, about the closure of the Commodore. And again on Radio Nottingham last Dec about the book.

    Nice of you to recall.

    Oh it was. All those glamuorous gowns, venue's, glitter, travel, 3 kids, house to run.. No, only kidding, I do have some lovely memories.

    Worked with some nice folk too; Roy Castle, Bill Maynard, Ricky Tomlinson, the Aufweidersen crew, Hope and Keen, Stephanie Beacham, Dick Emery, Bernard Manning, Roy Kinnear, Roger Whitaker, Leslie Crowther...oh I shall be here all day.

    But who wold have thought that I in my dotage could write a book that has been so well received? I was gong to go with an online booksellers but decided to go it alone. The onliner, recently contacted me and told me she thought I might be in difficulty and she could promise to sell me 100 books over a 6 month period. I have already sold the best part of 400 in 2 months. Good intit!

  13. First timer here and if I make any spelling mistakes its because the font is too small to read and no amount of clicking it higher works, So I am 'feeling' rather than typing!!! (Anyone got a magnifying glass I could borrow?)

    Have just wrtten a second to book to my first one YO'D MEK A PARSON SWEAR! (www.joyjamesnottingham.co.uk

    It deals with growing up in St Ann's as a small child. The 2nd one (title a work in progress..any idea's?) deals with what happened next.

    I go to Pierrepoint and have hit a snag. I am being told its Pierrepont! But I am sure I am right in thinking there is an e in the pont!

    I have even found it spelled thus in a list of Nottingham schools I found online. There is also a tenuous Nottingham link to Albert Pirrepoint.

    Help!!!