Medical Tales

[tomlinson 879]

When visiting medical people, I have had some strange experiences. I once visited a specialist with a problem and there was (I think an Asian) student in attendance. The specialist looked at my notes and said, 'Mr Tomlinson is a little overweight. Can you think of a condition where this would be of advantage'? The student thought a bit and answered, 'Malnutrition'. He was undeniably right and I fell off my chair. The answer apparently should have been osteoporosis in women. When in the RAF I went to see a civilian doctor because of a skin condition. I was in full uniform. He looked at me and asked, 'Do you work with cows'? My favourite though is the story of a dentist; a Squadron Leader. His patient sat in the chair and said, 'I'm sorry sir. I forgot to clean my teeth this morning'. The S/L replied, 'That's O.K. I've just been for a s--t and I forgot to wash my hands'. Any more anyone?

[Annesleyred1865 137]

When we had a new doctor once he gave me the usual questions/warnings

"Do you smoke ?" -yes

"Do you drink ? " - yes

"your overwieght" -yes I know

"Me too now whats wrong with you ?" by then Id forgot

[StephenFord 866]

There was a doctor in Derby, in the days when doctors would visit you at home (even without serving them a writ first). He would come into the house and as he was climbing the stairs he would shout, "Are ye dead yet?!" (I think he only did this in non-life- threatening cases!)

Then there was our doctor in Long Eaton. I went to him on one occasion with a painful wrist. After looking at it and feeling and twisting it a bit, he said, "Let me see your other wrist." As I held it out I said, "There's nothing wrong with that one." He replied, "No, I'm aware of that. Don't you know that the good Lord gave us two of most things just so that doctors can compare them!"