Aussies getting a bit desperate !!

[Rob.L 1,090]

And the tennis? I can't hear a mention of the tennis in there. Can anybody hear any mention of the tennis? I can't hear a single mention of the tennis..............

Notice that's Union flag and not the English one..LOL

Watched a bit of it yesterday. When the Scot lost the first two sets, I thought that was it, but the Brit managed to pull through and win the last three.

STOP, PLEASE STOP! I am laughing so much I can't breathe...................You still think that you have some remote chance of a win?

We are even showing your country, where Raleigh once proudly stood for more than some goateed buccaneer, how to win La Tour De France! How does that ring your bell then?

Like you did last year?

[Trevor S 2,003]

Beefsteak, you are sounding rather dejected lately so I thought I would send you something that may give you a glimmer of hope...........then again, I doubt it.

[Beefsteak 305]

Well don't just sit there acting senile (Like the rest of the Australian sporting 'nobility') let us see it, let us see it !!

[Trevor S 2,003]

Not being senile, Beefsteak old boy! I was just being sympathetic to your fragility.....I was going to send it and then I thought - Beefsteak doesn't need news of more sporting events that his lot is going to lose SO I DID NOT SEND IT.

However, old bean, since you asked for it.....read on .....................................!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/rugby-league/22192081

[Beefsteak 305]

Oh I see, you're now expecting us to accept that your inability to press the correct buttons is somehow a failing upon our part.!??

Typical pee poor digadevian attempt at subterfuge if you ask me !!

And , oh wow, hold your breath one and all, there may be (Just may be mind) a sport that the Aussies have found that they may just have a chance of winning at!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What next , Boomerang throwing? Kangaroo lassoing?, Wallaby juggling ?? Nah thought not !!!!!

[Trevor S 2,003]

Hold your horses, Beefsteak old boy. (That reminds me about Black Caviar but we will not go there because once I've got the bit between the teeth....... )

Anyhow...

"And , oh wow, hold your breath one and all, there may be (Just may be mind) a sport that the Aussies have found that they may just have a chance of winning at!!!!!!!!!!!!!" is a seriously profound statement by you, matey!

I would imagine that you have a smattering of mathematical knowledge and can count?

The Rugby League World Cup, initiated by the French and first played in 1954 is a game held on average every 4 years and (you can hold your breath now, old bean):-

In the thirteen (13) World Cup Tournaments played since it began in 1954,

Australia has won nine - 9 - IX - Neuf - Neun times...that is nine world cup Championships out of 13...... as you say - WOW.

and there is more - Australia was runner-up in three World Cups.....WOW WOW.

I would say that we do not have to think we "might just have a chance of winning" - we do win and are the proven Champions in Rugby League.

Not to worry Beefsteak, you still have your beloved game of Tiddlywinks to fall back on during hard times....http://www.etwa.org/#WS

However, the prize purse of 20 pounds is apparently attracting undesirables so you will probably lose in that game to the Americans before much longer....http://nuseinternational.co.uk/2011/07/outrage-among-international-tiddlywinks-community/

As for your puerile remarks re boomerangs.....they are novelty items sold to gullible tourists like your lot when they come out here to get sunburnt and scream like banshees at whatever sport they are following.

Kangaroos and wallabies are viewed as pests by farmers, fair game in the road kill stakes, panelbeaters friends, delicacies for rock pythons in the bush, amusing your lot on TV and are stuffed novelty items sold to gullible tourists like your lot when they come out here to get sunburnt and scream like banshees at whatever sport they are following.

Only someone from a nation of tiddlywink lovers and the inventors of bicycle clips for trousers would even remotely consider boomerangs, kangaroos and wallabies in the same context as sport - fair go mate!

[Beefsteak 305]

....they are novelty items sold to gullible tourists like your lot when they come out here to get sunburnt and scream like banshees at whatever sport they are following.

And the best part about it is that they are cheering for the winners !!!!!

Kangaroos and wallabies are viewed as pests by farmers, fair game in the road kill stakes, panelbeaters friends, delicacies for rock pythons

And how do they get in your houses ?

And as for a 'sport' that consists of kicking 7 bales out of each other.......................... Well it's pretty obvious why your lot do so well at it isn't it ? And you came runners up the only other times that another bunch of Klondykes took part.

[Trevor S 2,003]

Kangaroos and wallabies are viewed as pests by farmers, fair game in the road kill stakes, panelbeaters friends, delicacies for rock pythons

And how do they get in your houses ?

What are you talking about???? Only people to take them indoors are the feral greenies, bloody do-gooders and animal trainers on TV sets in order to amuse your lot! We used to shoot them - meat for the dogs.

Unless you are referring to 'rock python' and my post of the carpet snake (Diamond Python) in the house on another thread. Well now, Beefsteak - are we sitting comfortably? Then we will begin....carpet snakes can grow up to three metres in length and will survive quite happily under your house, in your wall cavities, roof etc. Pleasant and non aggressive most of the time and easily fed on frozen dead mice, purchased from your specialist pet supply. There is no reason to rearrange your furniture, secure your pets, your wife or put bars up at the doors and windows or chimney if you have one. You do not have to have a freezer set aside in which to keep a carpet snakes daily food intake, nor a stun gun, cattle prod or 12 guage shotgun to house train a carpet snake.

The Australian Rock or Scrub Python on the other hand: -

http://www.google.com.au/search?q=rock+python+australia&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=emHXUd-kIe2tiQfCkICIDg&ved=0CDEQsAQ&biw=1920&bih=888#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=qLK3ZGFvxt25ZM%3A%3BgEurFg3eE3I08M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.joe-ks.com%252Farchives_jan2006%252FSheepHerder1.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.joe-ks.com%252Farchives_jan2006%252FSheepHerder.htm%3B800%3B600

The Australian farmer was wondering what was taking his sheep!

How about this little wriggler.......................................................................

http://www.google.com.au/search?q=rock+python+australia&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=emHXUd-kIe2tiQfCkICIDg&ved=0CDEQsAQ&biw=1920&bih=888#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=NRH5UekBvsuaiM%3A%3B0Yv3ZmgKl2jYjM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.outback-australia-travel-secrets.com%252Fimage-files%252Fsnake-and-cow-not.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.outback-australia-travel-secrets.com%252Fsnake-australia-cow.html%3B500%3B417http://www.google.com.au/search?q=rock+python+australia&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=emHXUd-kIe2tiQfCkICIDg&ved=0CDEQsAQ&biw=1920&bih=888#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=NRH5UekBvsuaiM%3A%3B0Yv3ZmgKl2jYjM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.outback-australia-travel-secrets.com%252Fimage-files%252Fsnake-and-cow-not.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.outback-australia-travel-secrets.com%252Fsnake-australia-cow.html%3B500%3B417

That is a wallaby that it was photographed trying to drag out of the water up in north western Australia. Check the length of the snake and observe the rest of it's body along the ledge and out of sight to the right!

Check your oil Sir?...http://www.google.com.au/search?q=rock+python+australia&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=emHXUd-kIe2tiQfCkICIDg&ved=0CDEQsAQ&biw=1920&bih=888#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=rr6ZFhAnCaMvLM%3A%3BerlYFuvhzRUFWM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F24.media.tumblr.com%252Ftumblr_ma1bk9PFJR1qm96yvo1_500.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.tumblr.com%252Ftagged%252Frock%252520python%3B500%3B312

So, Beefsteak, our pythons can grow up to 8.5 metres in length and are not easily house trained, particularly on the Kitty Litter!

One similarity, however, is the ability to crush their opponents....................just like we will with your lot tonight!

[Beefsteak 305]

I must congratulate your team on that nice crushing victory from the Wallabies there

[Beefsteak 305]

Oh no , sorry , that didn't happen did it ?

Some team from the antipodes got their bums kicked by this team of no hoper's from the northern shores

[Beefsteak 305]

You're not singing any more, you're not singing any more .

41 - 16 ring any bells ??

Not that I'm basking in our glory in any way shape or form

[Michael Booth 7,364]

It looks like the knockout punch, Beefsteak.

[sussexred 25]

Bring on the Ashes!

[Trevor S 2,003]

Beefsteak, I could not answer you straight away as I had a mouth full of humble pie.

The same humble pie that I have been eating since watching that pathetic display put on by our lot.

Your team was dominant from the start and provided an example to one and all on how to play the game and win!

Our lot is now saying that the first portion of the game set them back and it was hard to come back from that mistake in the first minute when your lot scored a try and converted from a silly mistake, our failure to go for field goals and the loss of Folau. Poor excuses and Robbie Dean's job is looking unsure this morning!

Congratulations to the British and Irish Lions :tongue: Welsh team for a well deserved win....

Some may say it was a knock out punch...crap! We have just taken the mandatory 8 count and are back on our feet.

Don't get too confident just yet, Beefsteak - quite a few rounds to go before you can claim outright victory

[Beefsteak 305]

Now bring on the ashes.

[Trevor S 2,003]

Good morning Beefsteak.................nice little win for your lot overnight at the tennis. As an Englishman, you must be very proud that a Scot has won the Wimbledon Men's Singles Title.

As they say, practice makes perfect and 77 years of it for your lot has proven it.

I dare say that there will be dancing in the streets, knighthoods, souvenirs with Murray's face plastered all over them, every second conversation concerning Murray.

It must be extremely difficult to believe that Britain has won Wimbledon after so many years out in the strawberries and cream wastelands. Childish wonder would undoubtedly abound among your masses as to what a Scot has managed to achieve.

Australia, having won the Wimbledon title 16 times since 1946 and being runner-up 19 times during the same time frame is now indifferent to such success.

However, congratulations to Murray and his mother and may they long enjoy their spoils of victory.

How much further to Trent Bridge?

[Beefsteak 305]

Hew yew carlin a Englishman , ya sassenach ye !!

Just a great feeling of national pride to to be honest, and I have to admit to having a lump in my throat and a bit of moisture round the eyes as it ended !

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

And it's kind of nice of you to admit your lot are actually a bunch of losers !! I mean to say losing 19 finals is a pretty big embarrassment isn't it ? At least we only lost one in all that time !

[Trevor S 2,003]

So, Beefsteak changes his flag colours to suit the moment!!

And as for 19 losses, that was 19 losses when playing the final at Wimbledon. In other words, old boy, we have played in or won 35 Wimbledon singles finals since 1946.

And your lot....have only just managed to find out where the Wimbledon Centre Court was in the past two years - courtesy of a SCOT.

After 76 years you managed a Runner - Up - courtesy of a SCOT and after 77 years your lot won the title - courtesy of a SCOT

All Hail The Scottish Hero: -

How many hours to go now?????????????????

[Beefsteak 305]

Hold hard serry, hold hard.

Let's put that last Diatribe into context shall we ?

Firstly claiming we are not allowed to lay claim to Andy Murray as one of 'ours' is a tad like us stopping you lot claiming anyone not from NSW !! He's a fellow countryman (For now) end of !! Admittedly they can't play football/Cricket/rugby etc, but thanks to the money that we contributed via taxes that were then used by the UK sports council to train him , support him and his mother whilst they were living off the state during this period of his life, I'll say we can claim him.

Secondly 'our lot' only just finding where the centre court was in the past two years, perhaps I aught to point out to cyclops down under that we have also won the womens twice in the last 45 years so that's played 4 won 3 lost one, a winning percentage of 75% 'your lot' on the other hand have a win ratio of just 45% making you the

BIG LOSERS

[Trevor S 2,003]

Mr. Beefsteak, Sir,

A big difference between Great Britain and Australia is that Great Britain is made up of the countries of England, Scotland and Wales. Australia is one country, a single entity, standing proud and tall on the world stage. Australian teams are Australians, born and bred in this country or having immigrated and chosen to take up citizenship in the land of Oz.

Australia is unable to call on other countries to provide their sportspersons in order to bolster our chances at winning. We are just 24 million people - how many has Great Britain legally got at the last count?

"Secondly 'our lot' only just finding where the centre court was in the past two years, perhaps I aught to point out to cyclops down under that we have also won the women's twice in the last 45 years so that's played 4 won 3 lost one, a winning percentage of 75% 'your lot' on the other hand have a win ratio of just 45% making you the - BIG LOSERS"

To be honest, I wondered where you were coming from or was it just that you could not count and then I realised.....you have recruited the results of the Women's Singles titles over 45 years, combined it with your Men's Singles titles for the same period and called it played 4 - won 3 - lost 1 so therefore a winning percentage of 75%....Nice Try! There are many accountants relaxing in gaol who tried to fudge the figures like that.

The truth is, over 77 years when combining (if you want) both Men and Women's titles (154) wins and runner-up statistics....GBR = Played 4 - Won 3 - Runner-up 1.......................Australia = Played 46 - Won 21 - Runner-up 25

I suppose you could say, using your flawed reasoning, that over the said 154 (Male and Female) Championships, Australia has played in 30% and won 14% of those one hundred and fifty four finals.

On the other hand, Great Britain (Incorporating England, Wales and Scotland) has managed to play in just 2% of those finals and won 2% (thanks mainly to their women).

Beefsteak, you can add your women to the men's scores to try and gain some credibility but lets face it - your males record at tennis is abysmal. At least your women can play the game and have won 3 titles and been runner-ups on four occasions (Australia 5 - 6 over the same 77 year period). Restrict your combined statistics to just the last 45 years and we still blow you clean out of the water!!!

Let's give this tennis issue away, Beefsteak. It is starting to get boring and I am looking forward to the Ashes tonight.

[Beefsteak 305]

Shot yourself in the footy there matey boy:-

Australia is unable to call on other countries to provide their sportspersons in order to bolster our chances at winning.

Do you not recall what the original topic was about !??

I win you lose !

Now lets wait for this arvo.

[Beefsteak 305]

Well honours just about even in my honest opinion.

I had just got back home from Manchester to see the first Australian wicket fall, and managed (Near enough) to watch the rest of the days play. I didn't realise (until tonights news) that we'd had our usual collapse at the end !

[Trevor S 2,003]

Yes, Beefsteak, I would concede honours are just about even now that you have finished clutching at straws and have faced the inevitable.

Ah ha! the bell just rang for the second round.

The cricket started last night down here and I do not mind telling you that I was initially impressed with the trio of Cook, Root and Trott.

But tell me, what the hell was the purpose of the cricketers walking out and each holding hands with a little kid??? Are we here to play cricket or kindergarten?

However, we are getting the coverage courtesy of Sky Channel Sports on our local free to air TV and the commentators are all English cricketers now on the pension - Hussain, Strauss, Atherton, Holding, Lloyd ad nauseum......biased and boring...fell asleep!

Woke up as Siddle was tearing through your lot - LOL. Thought we had you until it was our turn. Finn and Anderson can bowl - no doubt about that and the ball that got Clark out was a pearler.

Lot of turn for the bowlers and the weather probably played a part in that. Lights turned on shortly into the match and what fancy lights they are!

Our side is still suffering from an old issue - there are no batsmen to support our bowlers. Our bowlers do all the good work and provide our batsmen with a reasonable target and what happens - our so called batsmen fail them.

Probably the turning ball and the calibre of your bowlers had a little to do with it as well.

Should be an interesting match and my money is still on Australia!

[Beefsteak 305]

I know we have the odd foreign born player in our squad , but accusing Holding and Lloyd of being English is tantamount to slander there old chap !

And as I mentioned I was busy doing other things at the start so I didn't see the "Mascot thing" but IMHO if it gets kids that little bit more interested then let them get on with it .

[Beefsteak 305]

Good job you got Agar (Doo doo doo)