Michael Booth 7,364 Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Love this Japanese Doctor!Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up! Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?Q: Is chocolate bad for me?A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!Q: Is swimming good for your figure?A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"AND......for those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NewBasfordlad 3,599 Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Best thing I have read for ages. Colin 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilbraborn 1,594 Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 I reckon it's the crappy weather. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bazza 71 Posted September 13, 2013 Report Share Posted September 13, 2013 I reckon it's the crappy weather. Emigrate Baz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted September 13, 2013 Report Share Posted September 13, 2013 Why can't the English learn how to speak? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilbraborn 1,594 Posted September 13, 2013 Report Share Posted September 13, 2013 Ayup Baz. Too old now. But my dad told me years ago that as he was stationed in Australia in the war, him and my mum were going to go back and live there, but she had serious health problems at the time and the idea just dried up. So I might have been your neighbour if things had turned out differently. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trevor S 2,003 Posted September 13, 2013 Report Share Posted September 13, 2013 Get yourself out here! It will put another ten years on your life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Commo 1,292 Posted September 13, 2013 Report Share Posted September 13, 2013 Aged 66, state pension dependant, little savings. Will you sponsor us Trevor ? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilbraborn 1,594 Posted September 13, 2013 Report Share Posted September 13, 2013 Be no good mate. If everything is that good I'll have nothing to moan about. And that will be the finish of me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfan 14,793 Posted September 13, 2013 Report Share Posted September 13, 2013 I want a Doctor like the Jap one ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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