tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 At the risk of starting another contentious subject which may well disappear, here we go. Linda Bellingham is about to undergo a very public death. She has cancer and has let everyone know via the media. In the past she has publicized a violent husband and a parent suffering Alzheimer's. Personally, I am not interested. I feel this is for her own family and friends. We all have our poblems, some more than others, and some more severe than Ms Bellingham's. We are all going to die; I doubt our own handling of the situation will be influenced by the experiences of others at the ultimate point but of course there's the aura of 'celeb' about it all, Graham Norton has a drink problem; Stephen Fry is on drugs. Thousands/millions of others suffer similarly. Because of the 'celeb' connection, are we supposed to feel more sorry for these people? The annoying aspect for me is that their wailings are given media space. I feel I want to go to them and say, "Get on with your problems, I'll get on wth mine". Here endeth the first rant! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
radfordred 6,284 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 I would like to give Linda a big hug she's someones Mum. x 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 I would like to give Linda a big hug she's someones Mum. x True, we all have or had a mum but if you're not a 'celeb' is it important? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
radfordred 6,284 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 No need to quote its above we can all see it? Sometimes its best to keep your thoughts to yourself. End of. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 I think it's true our society does put a lot of emphasis on celebrities,any compasion should be aimed at the human element and not because they are in the limelight,after all sometimes the way celebrities illnesses are treated might not be a option for ordinary folk,that is not to say that the treatment we received under the NHS is not generally excellent,at the end of the day death creates real equality ,those left behind create division,and all of us encourage division regardless of our views. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LizzieM 9,519 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Though I've never met Linda Bellingham myself, I do know a close relation of her and as RadfordRed states, I'm sure we would all wish her well in her battle. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MelissaJKelly 2,124 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 I can see where Tomlinson is coming from and you never hear the likes of the ordinary folk with the same problems in the media for people to empathise with. But regardless of that, what Linda Bellingham is going through is tragic whether she be a celebrity or not. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 My post seems to have gone awry. Anyone who suffers anything deserves sympathy. In the main, we can be thankful for the teatment received for what ails us. These points are given. My question is, when suffering whatever, does the 'world' need to know about it? For instance; I go fishing occasionally. Often, when sitting peacefully on the bank, a fellow fisherman, a stranger to me, wanders up and asks, how is the fishing? All perfectly natural but then, in a large majority of cases, I get "I won't be able to fish for a while after today, I have to go and have my hip done", followed by a short medical history. In this way I have heard of prostates, cataracts, other joints and I don't know what all, including similar complaints suffered by close relatives. It used to be said, the main talking point of the English is the weather. No longer the case. It's health. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 I can see where Tomlinson is coming from and you never hear the likes of the ordinary folk with the same problems in the media for people to empathise with. But regardless of that, what Linda Bellingham is going through is tragic whether she be a celebrity or not. Of course it is Melissa. Every situation ending in death is a tragedy for someone but whether celebrity or not, do we want to hear about it if we are not a friend or relative of the person concerned. My next post tries to illustrate my point. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LizzieM 9,519 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 True Tomlinson but we British have become a lot more open with each other. When my Mum was suffering from Cancer 26 years ago no- one, nor she, EVER mentioned the C Word in her company. Yes, we'd openly talk about the weather but never discuss health problems, all too personal and I suppose it was embarrassing. Nowadays if someone has a health problem they share the information with others and I do think that helps the sufferer to cope. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 True Tomlinson but we British have become a lot more open with each other. When my Mum was suffering from Cancer 26 years ago no- one, nor she, EVER mentioned the C Word in her company. Yes, we'd openly talk about the weather but never discuss health problems, all too personal and I suppose it was embarrassing. Nowadays if someone has a health problem they share the information with others and I do think that helps the sufferer to cope. Yes, it's personal, yes it can be embarrassing, yes if shared with FRIENDS AND RELATIVES it can be theraputic but I personally find it irritating to have strangers approaching me with such woes. Linda Bellingham has approached the world of media with her problems. I know of her; I do not know her. To be honest, I'm not sure of her motivation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LizzieM 9,519 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Money from the proceeds of her book. To make sure her kids have enough to survive on when she's gone! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Communication has help us understand every complaint that is going and I find it totally ridiculous to only mention to friends and family ,friendships and families are quite often formed by our ailments ,I for example would be touched to hear of any loss on this site and would like to think that I could give a total stranger .a few moments of my.time when they are at a low ebb,and I hope Tomlinson you are being flippant in suggesting you don't want to know.there is a saying there for the grace of God go I.and I am not religious. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Communication has help us understand every complaint that is going and I find it totally ridiculous to only mention to friends and family ,friendships and families are quite often formed by our ailments ,I for example would be touched to hear of any loss on this site and would like to think that I could give a total stranger .a few moments of my.time when they are at a low ebb,and I hope Tomlinson you are being flippant in suggesting you don't want to know.there is a saying there for the grace of God go I.and I am not religious. Sorry you consider it 'totally ridiculous'. We don't know every complaint that's going, or going to turn up; not by a long chalk! I think it strange to talk of friends and family being formed by our ailments, unless you speak of a casual acquaintance sat in a doctor's surgery or hospital. I would have thought anyone on this site would be a friend and therefore worthy of sympathy. Would you, meeting a total stranger, unburden yourself re your ailments? I certainly wouldn't. It's happened to me and I don't wish to know it. Why should I? As for 'there but for the grace of God', in itself this is irrelevant if not flippant, not believing in God. Better say, there but for the grace of fate. I'm not religious either so why call upon the grace of something you don't believe in? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Booth 7,364 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 I used to watch Linda Bellingham on Loose Women and always found her to be a really nice lady. I was very sad when I read about her health problems and her intention to end her treatment. Because of the seriousness of her illness she can't be cured so she decided that she'll end her life with dignity. Tomlinson has his views regarding Linda Bellingham, and I will respect this, but I certainly don't agree with him. There are many Nottstalgia Members who have, or had, serious medical problems and they've shared their experiences with us. They've found comfort in doing this and we've been able to learn something from them whilst giving our love and support. Regarding people pouring out their sob stories regarding their health problems: If someone finds they have a serious illness it will dominate their thoughts and lives. If they get into conversation with anyone then it's bound to be mentioned and are we so hard hearted that we can't spend a few moments of our time listening to them. By reading the posts of Nottstalgians I've learned about their different health problems and what to look out for. Linda Bellingham is just doing the same thing and I hope she can enjoy her last days with her family and friends. 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 The reason I said I found you view riddiculous was because if a member of your family was diagnosed with a serious illness and felt they could not tell you ,would you expect the person they told to respond with I don't want to know ,after all we are British and the majority of us ask the question how are you to almost everyone we meet . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Incidentally I do believe that some celebrities are only motivated by fame and fortune and probably have a similar view as yours. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Oh I did not say I did not believe in god,it's religion I don't believe in ,but that's a seperate topic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Once more to the fray! 1. Anyone who has cancer or anything else terminal, or painful, I sympathise with, if I know of it for a reason. They have had very bad luck. 2. What Linda Bellingham decides to do is up to the lady herself. My question is, why report it all to the media; not the first time she has done such a thing. Perhaps it smacks of self indulgence? 3. As I said in a previous post, I would consider anyone on Nottstalgia to be a friend - NOT A STRANGER, and therefore I would have thought free to discuss any problem with, not just medical. I have done something of this nature myself. 4. To pour out one's medical problems to a STRANGER, dominating one's thoughts or not, I cannot understand. Unless asked a direct question I would not mention such a personal thing. Again, I know OF Linda Bellingham, I do not KNOW her. I do not believe she went to the media with her particular problem to show people 'what to look out for'. We have doctors to tell us that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Incidentally I do believe that some celebrities are only motivated by fame and fortune and probably have a similar view as yours. Would you please clarify this post? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 The reason I said I found you view riddiculous was because if a member of your family was diagnosed with a serious illness and felt they could not tell you ,would you expect the person they told to respond with I don't want to know ,after all we are British and the majority of us ask the question how are you to almost everyone we meet . Would you expect a member of your family, or indeed would you yourself, confide in a stranger rather than a member of your family or a friend? Members of my family certainly wouldn't. And if you were to ask me, on being introduced as a stranger, 'How are you'? what would you think of me if I churned out a list of personal symptoms and problems? Not much I would have thought. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Doctors can only diagnose if asked,someone else asked me to get checked I had no symptoms,I have a chance to survive ,under your way of thinking I would probably have died sooner ,I know you would say I am a stranger and that you have to die anyway ,but I am so grateful.to that person and happen to think life is precious and like you would like to see my children,grandchildren grow up. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Oh I did not say I did not believe in god,it's religion I don't believe in ,but that's a seperate topic. On this separate topic, I'm trying to think of a religion without a god of some sort. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted October 12, 2014 Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Tomlinson I meant that people that watch them on tv would be concerned for th however to some celebs, would not give a damn, meaning like you they are strangers and don't want to know. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted October 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2014 Doctors can only diagnose if asked,someone else asked me to get checked I had no symptoms,I have a chance to survive ,under your way of thinking I would probably have died sooner ,I know you would say I am a stranger and that you have to die anyway ,but I am so grateful.to that person and happen to think life is precious and like you would like to see my children,grandchildren grow up. Due to a tragedy in my own circumstances, I have no grandchildren. That said, I have no wish to discuss it further. Again, and again, I put this in capitals. I am talking STRANGERS! A friend or family member may well urge you to see a doctor, all well and good. Again I ask, why are the circumstances of LInda Bellinghams situation advertised throughout the media by the lady herself? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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