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colly0410 last won the day on December 10 2013

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  1. colly0410

    Faith In The Lord.

    If I had to choose a religion I wouldn't know which one to go for. They all seem to offer eternal life if you go with them, but choose the wrong one & that's it = eternal damnation. They could run TV adverts like Tesco & Asda, you could have German Discounter religions offering cheap hail Mary's & holy water. Perhaps they could have a Dutch auction between all the religions offering all their benefits & punishments till one stands out. I think Dave Allen did a sketch about this many years ago....
  2. So climate change protesters are clogging up our roads, they want the UK to have zero CO2 emissions by 2025. How is this possible? We'd have no gas central heating, no petrol or diesel vehicles, only solar, nuclear & wind generated electricity. Cant ever see us being CO2 neutral by 2025 or many decade's after...
  3. colly0410

    Traffic Lights In Notts.

    Wear green tinted glasses then there are no problems with red traffic lights...."Is there a problem officer?" Station road in Hucknall near Tesco is choco-block in rush hour now they've bunged all those traffic lights in, it was a lot free'er flowing when they had the mini roundabouts there...
  4. We were singing a hymn in assembly, I was at the front as it went in size order & I was the smallest in the class: a lad further back had a gormless look on his face & I was laughing at him. I then noticed that Pot Leg Bill (Mr Baines the headmaster) was looking at me, I then tried to look innocent. When the hymn finished Pot Leg said "a boy over there (pointing in my direction) seems to find something funny at the back!" I knew he meant me & smirked, he then launched himself towards me & smacked me straight round my left tab. The whole school burst out laughing. It didn't really hurt but I went bright red with embarrassment & I wanted the floor to swallow me...
  5. Remember reading an article in a motoring magazine that tractors needed extra strong brakes because having big wheels on the back & small on the front it'd be constantly trying to runaway downhill, I was trying to work this out when I noticed it was the 1'st of April edition, lol...
  6. colly0410

    Sense of humour

    I'm afraid I laugh at things when I shouldn't. When I was in the army & saw someone getting a beasting I always found it funny, the NCO would sometimes clock me laughing then I'd get a beasting as well. Once I was put on a charge for laughing on parade & was fined £5, I wasn't laughing then as that was a lot of money in the 70's.... I'll be falling about laughing at sumat on the telly & my wife'll be sat there in stony silence, she can't see the funny side of things like I can, she was born in Hucknall so maybe that explains it, lol.... Mam'd say "you'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute!" How is that possible? Lol...
  7. colly0410

    Cats !

    Well next door went to Mabo yesterday & Shadow-cat has been round here with us all day, only time he went round home was when he came with us to check on mail & food & water for the two budgies..... You're right Rog Pix & Now Shadow-cat rule the roost in this house, lol..
  8. colly0410

    wrong song lyrics

    I always thought Eminem was singing "The Chick Her Name Is Sadie" in The Real Slim Shady song..
  9. colly0410

    Faith In The Lord.

    These threads have a history of drifting Beekay, they often end up about cats, lol...
  10. colly0410

    Faith In The Lord.

    The one that gets me is where Lots wife gets turned into salt for looking back at Sodom. As the human body is mostly water a fair amount of hydrogen would have had to be transmuted via a thermonuclear reaction into sodium & chlorine, I think there would have been a rather large explosion if this happened...
  11. colly0410

    Faith In The Lord.

    Bargain there Phil..
  12. colly0410

    Faith In The Lord.

    I would have asked the RE teacher but he was bad tempered & I was scared of him, He'd already shouted at me for asking if cats went to heaven, he said it was a stupid question...
  13. colly0410

    Faith In The Lord.

    I said to the science teacher "when jesus's heart stopped all his blood would flow to & collect in his legs, & when his heart fired up again after a few days it would be empty & would have to pull a vacuum to get blood up to his brain, how did it do it?" He laughed & never answered my question...
  14. colly0410

    Buses in Mexico...

    First time I went to Malta in 1991 all the buses were 1950's/60's vintage, some old bonneted Bedfords, they sounded like they had petrol engine's to me. Most of the cars were 50's/60's as well. We rented a car (an old escort) for £2 a day, only one headlight worked & no left wiper (& it rained) but it got us there, there was no MOT back then & most cars were old banger's. When I went again in 1997 they'd introduced MOT's & all the old banger's had gone & the buses were newer second hand British models, some still had Brit number plates on them. Think they have modern buses now...
  15. colly0410

    Buses in Mexico...

    I think all those foreign buses are weird as the steering wheel & doors are on the wrong side, unless you're in Malta, Ireland, Oz or Kiwi land.... I quite liked the sound of the Greyhound buses with their V10 2 stroke engines. (I asked the driver about the engine) I traveled from Orlando to Miami on one & sat on the back seat all the way, it was a lot cheaper than the plane. I wonder what sort of engine Mexican buses have?..