Trevor S 2,003 Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet! I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off! Old age is coming at a really bad time! When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation! The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it." I don't have grey hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work. The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes". I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week. I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it! Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound! Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. 13 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Very good Trev.. They all apply to me too! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,429 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Same here!!! Plus, I got some hearing aids so I could hear better. Now I forget to put 'em on. No Kidding. Went out shopping in me carpet slippers a week or two ago. Used to enjoy most hi-tech stuff. Now I tend to find it a frustrating nuisance. Could go on but I've forgotten what about now! 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 The floor seems to be further down these days. Grey hair ? at least I've earned it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 I haven't any crockery or clothes showing anything about old age but I do have two 'Rupert Bear' mugs. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,328 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 I used to be a Morris Dancer - nowadays I get backache just thinking about it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Did you ever fall off the bonnet Compo? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DaveN 1,118 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 You can remember having button flies on your trousersYou keep your old shoes in case they come in handy for gardeningYou don’t remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheatGetting lucky means finding a parking space for your carThe little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wifeYour idea of weightlifting is getting up out of your armchairThe end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere the top of your trousersThe car you bought brand new becomes a vintage oneYoung women open doors for youA sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage doorYou can live without sex but not without spectaclesYou and your teeth don’t sleep togetherYou kiss your wife and she yawns Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 You keep your old clothes hoping they will come back into fashion . Trouble is will they fit you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilbraborn 1,594 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Stop worrying. There was a 98 year old lady on TV this morning who still works as a driving instructor. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,109 Posted May 26, 2016 Report Share Posted May 26, 2016 Grey hair, less of it, saggy bits, failing eyesight, hearing difficulties, more daytime naps, grumpiness, less tolerant, talk too loudly, clueless about the Highway Code, technologically bereft, detest children and babies, old people whom I once derided are now younger than me. Can't take in vast meals, need less alcohol to make me drowsy..... Oh dear I'd better get my weary backside out of bed! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
radfordred 6,284 Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 Apparently theres a very good anger management site, it gets plenty of hits. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trogg 2,020 Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 Quote Age is really brought home to you when talking to grandchildren, I gave the granddaughter a lift in my car recently, she asked me who was the group singing on the radio, the Beatles I replied thinking I have a convert to my type of music. Oh she replies I know about them , we discussed them in history at school last week. She must have seen the expression on my face as she quickly added it was modern history , then never spoke for the rest of the journey. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,337 Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 We were having a conversation at work the other day, three of us all born in that vintage year 1957, about the power cuts which were a regular feature in the days of Ted Heath's premiership. We recalled how certain areas would prepare for the power going off at a certain time in the evening by setting out candles and tuning the radio for favourite programmes as there could be no tv. At bed time, off we went up the wooden hill by candlelight. We were suddenly aware of being stared at incredulously by a young colleague who had clearly never heard of what we were discussing! Makes you feel owd! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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