Bilbraborn 1,594 Posted June 21, 2014 Report Share Posted June 21, 2014 Beans! Beans Good for your heart. The more you eat the more you pass wind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
katyjay 5,091 Posted June 21, 2014 Report Share Posted June 21, 2014 How 'refained' you are! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted June 21, 2014 Report Share Posted June 21, 2014 Hickory dickory dock two mice ran up the clock the clock struck one and there was blood and guts all over the shop.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted June 22, 2014 Report Share Posted June 22, 2014 There was a young man from Tosham. Who got out his b*****ks to wash them. His wife said Jack if you dont put them back I'll tread on the b****rs and squash them Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,736 Posted June 22, 2014 Report Share Posted June 22, 2014 You never find hairs on an egg, You always find hairs on a grape, It's only the hairs on a gooseberry, That stop it becoming a grape! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
funnyhaha 14 Posted June 22, 2014 Report Share Posted June 22, 2014 mrs hunt had a cutty punt, not a cutty punt but a hunt punt cutty. no swearing please Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fernilee567 33 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 I went to the pictures tomorrow got a front seat at the back They gave me plain cake with currants in I ate it & gave it them back yuk! Yuk! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fernilee567 33 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 sometimes high sometimes mighty I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie. now don't get flustered & don't go red - I mean on the clothes line & not in bed.! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trevor S 2,003 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 To sit in solemn silence in a dull dark dock, In a pestilential prison with a life long lock, Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock, From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
denshaw 2,872 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 On a toilet door Here I sit broken hearted Paid a penny and only farted. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,736 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Also on toilet door Here I stand and jump for joy I was here before Kilroy! Sorry to spoil your little joke I was here first, But my pencil broke Kilroy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulus 541 Posted June 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 No use standing on the seat, the crabs in here can jump six feet!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,736 Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 Women, horses and the chestnut tree, All the better for a beating be! Just don't try it boys 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StephenFord 866 Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light... ...himself. It struck him dead - and serves him right. It is the business of the wealthy man To give employment to the artisan. (Hilaire Belloc) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Smiffy49 590 Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 "Are you copperbottoming 'em my man? "No'm. I'm aluminiuming 'em, mum" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilbraborn 1,594 Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 I think this was a war time one but probably applies if you have a water meter. If it's yellow let it mellow If it's brown flush it down. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trevor S 2,003 Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Mary Mary, quite contrary how does your garden grow? "Pretty good since I buried my husband, there in the daisy row." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Little miss muffitt sat on a tuffit Her knickers all tattered and torn. It wasn't the spider that sat down beside her. But little boy blue with the horn. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StephenFord 866 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Naughty little Willie Fraser Found his dad's electric razor; Rugs and mats that once were hairy Now are bald - and so's the canary. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,161 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 There was a young lady of Devises had up at the local assizes for teaching young boys matrimonial joys,...................who can finish it ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 There was a young lady of Devises had up at the local assizes for teaching young boys matrimonial joys,...................who can finish it ? Despite being different sizes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,161 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Good tomlinson,.......but not the one i heard Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomlinson 879 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Good tomlinson,.......but not the one i heard Sorry. I thought it was a challenge. Perhaps challenges like this could be another 'Topic'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,161 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Yes good idea, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,328 Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 I think this was a war time one but probably applies if you have a water meter. If it's yellow let it mellow If it's brown flush it down. My sister's house is on a water meter. It was at her house that I first heard this saying. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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