Mole

[Compo 10,328]

Australia, here I come!

[LizzieM 9,512]

We laid a new lawn at a previous house and not long after we stood watching mole hills appear. Had a mole-catcher round who set some traps to no avail. My husband finally decided that enough was enough and went and stood motionless over a mole hill with a sledgehammer in the air. Soon the little sod was at it, soil spilling up onto the lawn. Hubby came down onto the pile of soil with his sledgehammer, just the once. It did the trick, no more wrecking of our new lawn ever again!!

[Compo 10,328]

OUCH!

[Ayupmeducks 1,730]

Many years back before I left the UK, I'd walked into the house after a very long dayshift, I settled down in front of the TV, turned it on and an odd feller I'd never seen had a show, I was just about to turn it over to another channel, we only had three back then, when this weird red headed bean pole put down his guitar and started on about moles, you guessed it "An Evening With Jasper Carrot. He had me in tears how he tackled the mole problem in his lawn.

Although I wouldn't use his method, a 12 gauge shotgun, while sitting on a swivel stool....

[Rob.L 1,090]

Carrott's mole sketch was very much sanitised for TV. His live version was a lot funnier, and had the sort of swear words you'd expect in the circumstances.

[Ayupmeducks 1,730]

I'm dead sure the air was a tad blue while he was reciting it, it was pretty late, that I do recall, so way past kiddies bed time, in fact it was pretty close to my bedtime..

Those were the days when 12, and 16 hour shifts were pretty common to me, I even did a 24 hour shift once, although I doubt the Mines Inspector would have approved.

[mick2me 3,033]

[Bilbraborn 1,594]

I loved his record 'Funky Moped' but it was the 'B' side that was the funniest. A rather rude take off of Magic Roundabout.

[darkazana 1,736]

Still got a copy. And still use the quote "Call that a dog? I've seen more hair on a lavatory brush" And of course "Boing! Time for bed!!"

[plantfit 7,619]

When you see the ground moving in their little runs shove a garden fork into it, I get some bird scaring bangers,light one and shove it down the hole under the mole hill, shock usually kills the little sods

Rog

[jackson 301]

Compo, great photo @ #1.

How could all of you posting on the subject of moles be so hateful towards them?

Why if I was lucky enough to hold one of these sweet, little creatures in my hand, I'd hold it so tight I'd crush it Oh my!!

[Ayupmeducks 1,730]

They make such a mess of the garden... I had a dog who would dig them up and eat them.

[radfordred 6,284]

A mate of mine had a mole removed from his willy he won’t be doing that again.

[Michael Booth 7,364]

Here you are writing about stabbing, sledgehammering and blowing up moles and I've been upset today because I accidently killed a frog with the motor mower.

[Bubblewrap 3,815]

How many moles does it take to make a pair of moleskin trousers?

[darkazana 1,736]

The funniest thing I saw in the fight against moles was my neighbours method. When the mole hill appeared on his manicured lawn (he used to trim it with scissors) He decided to put the hose pipe down the hole to flush the mole out and hit it with a shovel. He was so pleased that he had caught it. Until the next day when his precious lawn collapsed into the flooded mole system

[plantfit 7,619]

Re: post 15. I didn't know moles knew how to make trousers would they know how to use a sewing machine?

Rog

[Smiffy49 590]

Are moles girlfriends called molasses?

Smiffy

[Smiffy49 590]

Are molasses what moles sit on?