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At the tender age of seven I was "invited" to join the gang on our street. The initiation ceremony was all pretty harmless stuff, standing on one leg, whistling through your fingers etc, until it cam

When I stubbed my toe and broke it, did I say 'Oh dearie me'? When I lost a huge darning needle and found it two days later with my foot necessitating a hospital stay and an op, did I say 'Oh Bother'

People who swear a lot might think they sound angry or 'hard', but it actually comes out comical and stupid. We've all been walking through the city centre when you've overheard this type of conversa

One of the problems with 'bad language' is that words change their meaning over time; 'gay' being a prime example. The dreaded 'c' word has it's origins in meaning a sheath for a knife, or something like that. The 'f' word too was far more acceptable. It seems that the poem/song 'Comin' Through The Rye' by Robby Burns originally read, 'When a body 'f's a body comin' through the rye------ ' and so on. Meanings evolve and I'm sure plenty of us could quote more examples of the acceptable becoming unacceptable.

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When I first started in New South Wales collieries in 1979, it was a crime to swear at a pit or even underground!!! And that regulation dated from 1913!! Imagine big Pommie coal miners saying Stone the crows, I 'it me thumb wiv me 'ammer.

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I remember when trying to make a plough out of some angle iron on the bottom belt of the Black Shale - Deep Soft drift conveyor down Hucknall pit: We should have stopped the belt but didn't. (we'd had a common sense bypass) We lost control of the angle iron & it went through the return end ripping a large gash in the belt before we could stop it. The under-manager called us a bunch of 'dimwitted silly billies' or words to that effect for about 1/4 of an hour. Oh how he ranted & raved &, err, swore, lol..

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I never swore underground.. I just spoke in a foreign language, I think it was known as bad language from the land of the Bads....LOL

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I have never ever heard my father or mother use the f word. I seldom use it myself as I think it is below me.

I despise the swearing when its used as punctuation.

My senior manager is a woman and she uses foul language as it makes (in her mind) her look like an Alan Sugar type of hard, tough manager. She told me to f*** off once when put in an annual leave request. This was in front of an office with several women in it. In an equally loud voice, I said to her that if she was a man and told me to f*** off then I would follow the man into the toilets and become violent. Thats why male managers dont swear at me. Rather more gently I advised her that there are bullying and harrassment laws and being told to f*** off goes over that line. It shocked her as I am normally very quietly spoken and very non-confrontational.

I got the annual leave request.

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It really shows how limited their vocabularly is.

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  • 2 weeks later...

#52. A 'see you next Tuesday' was the sheath for a sharpening-stone - to put an edge on a scythe.

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Remember the words of the great Brian:

GENTLEMEN, NO SWEARING PLEASE

POT..............KETTLE............BLACK

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Benjamin, no knocking Cloughie thank you !

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The true swearers are those who, like most swearers not only stick the word between other words in a sentence, but split the words themselves - example, Wolver ...ing hampton.

Sorry Carni - no disrespect to your home town, just a handy multi-syllable name.

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It f***ing should do!

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I listened to an interwiew with Jasper Carrot a while back and today's comedians came under discussion as to why they swear during their acts. He thinks it is because they have poor material to work with and look for cheap ways of embelishing what they have. Having seen him on stage I certainly can't remember him swearing much. Does a lot of swearing argue a poor vocabulary?

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Watched Steve McQueen in a car chase...he careered off the road into somebodies living room.Sat there in a cloud of dust and just said "Shit!"

Sometimes an expletive says it all...but do agree though some comedians overdo it.

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At the tender age of seven I was "invited" to join the gang on our street.

The initiation ceremony was all pretty harmless stuff, standing on one leg, whistling through your fingers etc, until it came to the part where you had to say some swear words that you knew.

I did know some mild ones, but my brain froze up and I struggled to think of anything to say.

Everyone started laughing so feeling totally embarrassed I burst into tears.

This brought howls of laughter and everyone started to poke fun at me.

The embarrassment turned to anger so without thinking I blurted our "Why don't you all f**k off with your stupid gang"

They all stopped laughing and for a few seconds you could cut the atmosphere with a knife........

The laughter started again, but this time I was bombarded with slaps of approval on the back......

"YOU'RE IN !" came the cry.

I felt guilty all day and later could not bear to look my Mother in the eyes.

That night at bed time she asked what was wrong with me, as I had been "off" all day.

Nothing I said, just feel a little down in the dumps.

The next morning at breakfast I had virtually forgotten about the events of the day before.

On the way to school with my Mother we bumped into one of my friends.

He was also with is Mother, we chatted together as we walked along a few yards in front.

"I think I'm for it when my Dad comes home from work tonight" my friend told me.

I glanced back and noticed a look of surprise on my Mother's face as her mouth dropped open.

Oh no ! I thought, she's found out about me swearing !

At the school gates my Mother took me on one side and said that I was not to associate with my friend out of school.

Apparently his Mother had told my Mother that he had said the words "Flipping Eck" so that he could join a gang.

All that week I kept my head down......

Although not exactly swearing, another event when I was about seven involved me going to the hardware shop.

My Dad was painting the kitchen and wanted to surprise my Mother.

He gave me a note and some money to take with me, a small tin of Dulux white gloss paint, it said.

Wanting to feel grown up now that I was in a gang, I memorised the note.

Inside the shop was very busy, so I waited my turn going over the words in my mind

When it came to my turn and in front of a shop full of people (one of them was my friend's Mother) I made my announcement.....

I solemnly asked if they had any "Durex" as my Mother was out and my Dad was going to surprise her when she came home.

Smiffy

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  • 5 months later...

Re# 68. You mean as in Scunthorpe do you Chulla ? LOL

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