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That puerile, vacuous, inane, unfunny, callow, infantile Michael McIntyre (and tautology!)

#247: How about one of these:

This "Taking The Knee" malarkey, before every football match & sporting events, once was enough, but every match, NOW STOP IT 

What?!!!! No socks? I'm even wearing socks in bed these past few nights!

i always do Lizzie,.............cant stand feet.............even my own.

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#211. It must have been a bitter blow, Lizzie, when Hilda Hansen, at the end of your road, closed down. lol

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Too many cooking progs, too many animated films, too much crap about bad weather, too much crap all round.

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  • 4 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I'm off this week with Mrs Red done a bit of lunch time refreshments in town,caught the bus home, why do the Chinese & Asian travelers feel the need to sit on the outside seat with there bag on the inside seat? Taking up two spaces?

Tomorrow all-day ticket on my own, gonna cream a few.

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Gerrum up on't roof where they belong !!!!! LOL

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People who park straddling the white lines in car parks, especially supermarkets.

I wish I had an old banger to park close up to the drivers door so he can't get in..... Tee hee hee.

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Old fogeys who exit shops,but then stand in the doorway nattering.

Drivers who dither at mini roundabouts.

Screaming kids.

That'll do for the moment.

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It is overused to the point where nobody laughs out loud when they say it. In fact, they probably don't even give a shit about what you just wrote. More accurately, the acronym "lol" should be redefined as "Lack of laughter."

_84809551_lol_yellow_thinkstock.jpg

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I've got the T shirt too !

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Number plates where they shift the letters, create spaces and put black screws in odd places and I still don't get what they're trying to make it say; then they get it done in italics. All quite illegal but did anyone ever get done for it?

Tinted windows - just get a van if you've got something to hide.

All reality TV, especially the ones that are far removed from reality and blatantly scripted.

Child-proof lids. I have to use a really sharp knife to cut off the two plastic bits so this 'safety feature' becomes a hazard.

Continuous Payment Authority by default (especially on insurance premia).

Limited stock (so get some more).

Offer must end soon (because we have another identical offer to start).

News items with a shocking headline followed by 'according to [group or body with vested interest]'

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