denshaw

Does Bar Mitzvah have to close at 10 PM?

The Moon is actually made of cheese.

Automated voice recognition especially with British Gas. Do you want to report a fault "no" do you want to submit a meter reading "no" please state the reason for your call, no reply, then ring tone appears, wait for 10 mins and then give up. This is after they send you a letter saying they would like to talk to you about your smart meter which is useless.

Black Jacks or Fruit salads, 4 for an old penny. That's 960 for a quid.

I just put Rossems Troost in the translator, it came back as Big Maud.

Stanford street at the back of Sawyers was close by, near the Dungeon club.

The posters are foreign, Dutch?

Phil, you should have chosen a street where no one knew you.

I like that word courting, quite often 2 dogs in the street had to have cold water thrown over them while they were "courting"

Yet again yesterday, a house party in Lenton. 30 people attending, 4 were fined £10,000 each and suspended from university.

If you have a car under warranty does it have to be the main dealer that services it?

I worked in the office block next to the Bowling alley, Barker gate house on the 6th floor.

Can you run?

3/ Newmarket 9/ 8 bells

No problem Jill, my birthdays in July.

Again in Nottingham yesterday, 17 students having a house party. Only 2 fined, I thought students were intelligent.

1/ Prince of wails 2/ Trip to Jerusalem.

Early days and Notts have won 3 out of 4 games, putting them in third place, keep it up lads.

Yesterday in Nottingham 8 people were fined £200 each and 26 people warned about house parties.

Went in the Works bookshop at the weekend, 20 birthday cards for a quid.

There once was a Scotsman named Andy Who went in the pub for a shandy When he lifted his kilt to wipe what he'd spilt the barmaid said crikey that's Andy.

Goodbye Lamouchi. Hello Hughton.

In some areas it's better to put them on the roof, it stops people nickin em.

Were they like Dame Edna's ?

Just waft your arms and up you go, it's easy.