Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Right,I have re- jigged this theme with some 'in a nutshell' help from the Engineer. Recently I watched a film in which the main character (Owen Wilson) was heavily criticised for being nostalgic." Nostalgia is the denial of the painful present". This upset me somewhat,what are my fellow members thoughts on this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MelissaJKelly 2,124 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I had to write a university paper on this Ian. The thread is on here somewhere. I sometimes think we remember the past better than it was. I enjoy abit of nostalgia though! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfan 14,793 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Give over Ian, I've been on the Hobgoblin all afternoon, will read this post again tomorrow ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,614 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 We are WHO we are partly because of our lives up to now and partly because of our DNA. We all have memories - some good and some bad - and I think it is good to revisit those memories, either to enjoy the good memories or help ourselves come to terms with those which are not so good, maybe by sharing them. I know what I have written isn't strictly about 'nostalgia' which is more of a LONGING for former times and wishing the present could be more like the past, but as long as past memories don't dominate our lives to the extent that we can't move on then I don't see a problem. None of us can go back in time and much in the world has changed, and will continue to change. We really don't have a choice - we're in the here and now and can either accept the things we personally can't change or become MOGS!! I love remembering my past and what the world used to be like through my young/childish eyes, but I can still appreciate today's world (well much of it). For example, if there hadn't been such advances in technology, then I wouldn't be enjoying this site and sharing my feelings I for one don't think that nostalgia holds me back from living my life now or looking to the future. I hope I still have things to offer to make this world a better place 14 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Nostalgia ain't what it used to be. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mercurydancer 1,104 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Margie That is an astoundingly preceptive post. It reflects my views exactly. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeverilPeril 3,292 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 The older we get the more refresher courses we need - roll on the Oct mini meet up Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Booth 7,364 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I was going to add a post to this thread but I don't need to after reading MargieH's post (#4). A really good post, MargieH. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Yes MargieH, you have written what I felt at the time,herself tittered when the subject came up in the film. Personally I think it is claptrap.. but I suppose those thoughts are out there if Melissa wrote a thesis on the subject. I do very much live in the ' now' and have no control of the Main in the future,but I can remember and contribute to my past with some wonderful people!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DJ360 6,736 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Nostalgia ain't what it used to be. Don't worry.. it soon will be... Here, for what it's worth is a little contribution I made to Stuart Frew's 'Tears of a Clown' blog in early 2013: 'To Stuart, and all. Ever since I first found Stuart’s original article on Bestwood, I’ve been following this lovely thread. This though, has also combined with my wider reminiscences of my childhood in the area. I recall spending a lot of my childhood ruing the fact that I didn’t live somewhere more exciting. I longed to live somewhere with sea cliffs and beaches, or somewhere in mountains. It is only in retrospect that I have fully realised what an amazingly varied and interesting area I grew up in. I was raised on Bestwood Estate. Southglade Road to be precise. Back then Southglade faced onto a shallow valley, comprising fallow land split into two fields. The fields were lined with hedges of Hawthorn, also containing blackberries, wild roses, elder etc. Substantial oak trees were also dotted around the field boundaries. I cannot hope to count the hours spent in the confines of those two fields. We played cricket, football, hide and seek etc. We scavenged empty paint drums and corrugated sheets from the Rigley’s Wagon Works embankment, making dens, improvised drum kits and all manner of things which with a bit of imagination became everything from pirate ships to interstellar craft. We built fires, roasted spuds, climbed trees and generally roamed free in ways which seem almost illegal these days. I well recall the sound of Skylarks over those fields in the summer, and wild flowers such as Scabius, Heartsease, ‘Birdseye’ (Speedwell). Scarlet Pimpernel and many others were common. Day flying Burnett Moths were often seen. At the Bulwell Common end of Southglade, was the Leen Valley Railway, which snaked around to Bestwood Colliery. At the other end, was Jarve Goddard’s Farm, nestling beneath Sunrise Hill. Sunrise Hill was well named. The summer sun rose over it. It set over the Leen Valley, investing Bulwell and surroundings with a romance equalling any Mediterranean vista. Over in the distance, across what was then open farmland, could be seen the soil heaps of Bestwood Colliery, with the aerial cableway bringing skipfuls of spoil. Doesn’t sound at all romantic does it? Yet, in context, it was. Also visible was the spire of Emmanuel Church. Back then, an almost isolated chapel. Now, a curiosity on the edge of a modern housing development. Moving just a little way beyond those two fields, we would encounter the Great Central Railway mainline at Bulwell Common, in the latter days of steam. Filthy black 9Fs roared through pulling mineral trains. Generally cleaner green ‘Brits’, hauled fish trains through from the east coast, dashing down to Billingsgate. The York-Bournmouth Express, and the ‘Master Cutler’ shot through. Green Arrow, a V2 Class loco of exceptional beauty, was often seen. It now resides in York Railway Museum, awaiting a major repair. Sitting on fields where The Ridgeway is now, watching assorted research aircraft flying over Hucknall Airfield, seemed perfectly normal. It certainly never occurred to me that I was witnessing aviation history in the making.. The whole area was visually exciting. Often, it was far from pretty, but there was just so much happening, and in such variety that in retrospect we were spoiled. I always loved the views. All of them. They seemed to evoke a strange mixture of contentment with place and longing for elsewhere. I’ve never resolved that. Looking from my Mum’s bedroom window out across the Leen Valley, Bulwell seemed very much at ease with itself…. St Mary’s Church standing just proud of the general build, but somehow ‘of a piece’, and not at all aloof. It embraced, rather than dominated, its surroundings. My Dad was born in Bestwood Colliery, as was his Dad. Two other generations went before. On frequent visits to the village, to see my Grandparents who kept the Bestwood Hotel, I was always conscious of a warmth and sense of community, even though I didn’t know a soul in the village save my Grandparents. I get the same feeling when I visit Bestwood now, though I have to admit it is diminished. No doubt younger generations are building their own memories on sights and experiences which occupy the same spaces in which I built mine.. My brother and I worked out that we used to play cricket in the same space now occupied by the bar of the Gala Bingo on Southglade Road. Does that make it better, or worse? We’re all just passing through after all.' Col 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Smashing stuff Col!! Bulwell a med vista..on the ball mate!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,429 Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Great topic! I posted yesterday, early hours of the morning UK time but it disappeared with the thread. Can't remember exactly what I said now but I'll try to bring it back. There have already been some excellent posts. Needless to say I do not agree with the actor's view of nostalgia. I wonder how old he was when he said that? That said, by its very nature it (nostalgia) is more a luxury of the old than the young. When I was in my teens and twenties I was too busy building my life and planning my future to think much about the past. I didn't have much of a past at that point! From the perspective of seventy years I now have a lot to look back on and I enjoy doing it. Nottstalgia has been a tremendous help in this. I do not get into nostalgia because the present is particularly painful. I have had a good life. We never went without food on the table, a roof over our head, and enough money for a few clothes. I had a job for all but a week or two of my life. My generation was spared the horrors of war. The 60s was a time of great optimism and I enjoy reliving some of it in my mind, while my memory still works. I have no illusions about it. however. I know we tend to view the past through rose colored glasses, and things were not all sweetness and light in our day. Just different kinds of problems. That will always be the human condition. Nostalgia is a popular pastime judging by the number of websites devoted to it. I hope that Nottstalgia outlives us all. It is a tremendous store of information growing by the day. Perhaps one day our kids and grandkids will be browsing through here trying to figure out what made the old man the way he was. I hope so anyway. 13 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Brilliant loppylugs,and very true!! I think I am getting and sounding like my Dad more Dad and more. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
terence12 725 Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 loppylugs #12, just about says it all, could not agree more, echoes my sentiments too 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 The pub referred to in post # 10.(Bestwood Hotel) I worked behind the bar there in the early 80's, I lived just across the road in the middle row on Park Road, knew just about everyone in the village & have many happy memories of it. Left 20 years ago & only go to put flowers on Mam & Dads grave in the churchyard & visit the winding engine cafe now & then. Lots of new houses gone up since I left. Still keep in touch with old Bestwood village mates through Facebook.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 In the original post of this subject, Shirley spoke of ' mindfulness' this can be attached to this thread but am unsure about it actual meaning. Does it wipe out short term memory?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Booth 7,364 Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 loppylugs (#12), you started with the words 'Great topic.' The topics and threads are only great because of posts like yours. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,429 Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Thanks Michael. I was thinking about the nostalgia thing as I was dog walking today. I was born in 1944. My memories of Nottingham are of a fairly limited period in its history. From approx' 10 years old when you really start noticing things to about 25 years when I emigrated. So approximately a 15 year period. I like it the way it was back then. I would probably have a hard time navigating it now and I know I would probably not like some of the new buildings that I have seen the photos of here on NS. Those born in the last few years can never have the memories that we have and will probably complain like we do in the future when the buildings that they are now growing up with are replaced. We will not be around to see that. I suppose what I am trying to say is that nostalgia is common to all of us at some point in our lives, but it is also unique to each one of us. its effects will vary. Make some of us sad, mad or glad. or a combination of emotions. However we feel we would be poorer without nostalgia. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DJ360 6,736 Posted October 2, 2015 Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 Agree especially with your last point Loppylugs. I think it's quite normal and natural to look back. It's not all just nostalgia. It's got something to do with trying to make sense of things, putting both yourself and events into some sort of order. I think.... Col 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 2, 2015 Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 Too true Col,I have filed so much away in my brain..this site helps me retrieve memories before I or they hit the shredder. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chulla 4,946 Posted October 2, 2015 Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 You lot had it cushy. This is how it was for me! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loppylugs 8,429 Posted October 2, 2015 Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 Interesting. Thanks for posting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BilboroughShirley 1,120 Posted October 2, 2015 Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 #16 I mentioned "mindfulness" in my post in the original thread because this approach is about appreciating the present moment and looking for positive things about a situation. The aim of my original post was to line up nostalgia with an appreciation of and respect for past history, enjoyment of the present and looking forward to the future in a positive way. Hope this explanation helps. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DJ360 6,736 Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Good stuff. Although I've never been instructed in it, as I understand it, mindfulness is a technique which can help with overcoming psychological issues, though I suppose it's also a way of just 'being'. I certainly find that if I just take time to, for example, smell the air outside, appreciate the changing of the seasons etc., and try to enjoy, or at least accept these things, life is better. Whilst I'm sure it's not an issue for everybody. some of us get caught up in the rush and just forget to breathe.... I don't mind admitting that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for much of my adult life. I wish more people would own up, and that more people who don't suffer, could understand. The most effective help I've had has usually been around Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This helps you to think differently and works on the basis that it is not so much events which are the problem, but the way we choose to interpret and react to them. With a bit of expert help, and some practice, we can get our thoughts back under control. Earlier this year I slipped back into a series of massive anxiety attacks, because my beautiful youngest daughter is travelling frequently to places like Hong Kong, Bangladesh, India etc., and I was getting myself into a right old state over it. Trust me, if you have never suffered from a true anxiety attack, you don't want to. The sense of dread and impending doom is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I was tracking every flight on the internet, texting her frantically if I didn't hear from her exactly when I thought I should etc. It was ridiculous and I knew it, but I also realised I couldn't get out of the mess without help. Fortunately I was able to access help locally and I am now a lot better at dealing with this stuff. I suppose I just needed a 'refresher course'. She's off to HK., Bangladesh etc., in November. I'm not looking forward to it, but I think I'll cope better. There will always be mental health issues, but nobody should ever feel helpless or unsupported. Col 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,614 Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 #24. I suffered for a few months from an 'anxiety state' - that's what it was called at that time (c1972) I can understand completely how you felt DJ360. Even though I knew it wasn't real, I intermittently felt as though something really bad was about to happen - I used the words 'impending doom' to describe the feeling, like you. Sometimes I'd wake in the night and was terrified to move in case that terrible thing happened. At one point I was unable to take our eldest son to school and had to ask a neighbour to do it. I also had 2 other children both under 5 and life was very difficult. The feeling of fear was completely irrational and people asking me "what are you frightened of?" was difficult to answer. My GP prescribed some medication but it just made me sleepy and the underlying fear was still there. I had to stop taking it as I couldn't just doze on the sofa while my 2 little children were alone in the house with me. I finally found the only way to get through it when an anxiety attack started was to just lie there and keep telling myself it wasn't real and would pass in a few minutes just as it always did before. I think it was probably originally brought on by my husband's father dying suddenly at a fairly young agewhich caused me to confront my own mortality and that of my family, but the feelings of desperate fear only came on a few months later, strangely when I was bleeding a radiator and the key broke! Hot water was pouring out, my 2 little children were with me and I had to rush to get a bucket and try and turn the water off. It took about 6 months before these anxiety attacks tailed off. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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