katyjay 5,091 Posted March 6, 2018 Report Share Posted March 6, 2018 First of all, sorry Compo, I knew it began with a C, got the wrong one to give credit to. And a definite whoopsie to Pam Ayres, I thought I'd read somewhere she'd passed away, Googled it, and found an obit for that name, wrongly assumed it was her. Well, it was early in the morning I did that post, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,328 Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 No need to apologise, Kath - I reckon we've all done it at some point. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
katyjay 5,091 Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 The small town up north we lived in for a long time, rumours would fly around, especially if someone was ill. A bit like Chinese Whispers, the story embellished as it went along. My friend heard about a death of someone she knew well, put a condolence card in the mail only to find the person was not deceased after all. She did this not once, but twice, and both times had to beg the girl in the post office to go and get the card out of the mailbag before it went off. Totally illegal, but small towns get away with such stuff. After that, we told her she had to see the body before passing on any obits to others! 3 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Ha, ha ! It reminds me of the old tale of the general during WW1, who asked his radio operator to 'Send reinforcements, we're going to advance'. When the message passed through various stages, it finally reached its destination as 'Send three and four pence, we're going to a dance'. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mary1947 2,082 Posted October 17, 2019 Report Share Posted October 17, 2019 Just looking though an old mag "Time to Remember" of Nottingham and came across this verse Ye Doctors, who more execution have done. With bolus, and potion, and powder and pill. Than hangman with halter than soldier with gun. Than miser with famine, than lawyer with quill. To dispatch us the quicker, you forbid us malt liquor Till our bodies consume and faces look pale: But mind them who pleases, what cures all diseases, Is a comforting dose of Nottingham Ale. Chorus: Nottingham Ale, boys, Nottingham Ale No liquor on earth is like Nottingham Ale If she take a glass often, there's nothing can soften. The Heart of a woman like Nottingham Ale. I don't know if this is a song or verse can any member throw any light on it ? I have never seen or heard it before. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,328 Posted October 17, 2019 Report Share Posted October 17, 2019 Is it the song "Nottingham Ale"? I used to have a copy of the song on tape but it is long gone. Yes it is! It's the third verse.....Here's the song: https://youtu.be/ZAkCzbdZWCQ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Compo 10,328 Posted January 16, 2020 Report Share Posted January 16, 2020 [Seen elsewhere, author not credited] The outside toilet. In deep midwinter freezing cold, Walked down the path, feeling bold, Needed to go, just couildn't wait, But the wind and rain would not abate. Those powdered walls that made you white, If you should touch them out of fright, When a big black spider came to greet, As you sat upon the cold, hard seat. The sunday paper cut in squares, Waitng to cut your derriere, Hung from a nail on the wall, Something to read whilst in the stall. Alas, the spider's getting near, Making your time there fill with fear, Suspense is interrupting the flow, Should you stay or should you go? Try as you might, it will not come, So grab a square and wipe your bum. With one fast move you're out of there, Brushing cobwebs from your hair. That was terror when I was a lad, So when they put loos inside, I was glad! Just be thankful as you pull that chain, You need not go outside again. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,600 Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 Some good reading in this thread! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
denshaw 2,872 Posted October 10, 2020 Report Share Posted October 10, 2020 There once was a Scotsman named Andy Who went in the pub for a shandy When he lifted his kilt to wipe what he'd spilt the barmaid said crikey that's Andy. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cliff Ton 10,467 Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 A bit of nonsense with a Nottingham connection has been unearthed. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-57699393 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,307 Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 I have never been a fan of Edward Lear. Even as a child, his poetry didn't appeal to me. Philmayfield could do just as well. This site has a Mod named Cliff Ton, Whose attributes go on and on. For its members are rapt At his skills with a map And his arrows are second to none! Or.... You have to feel sorry for Trogg Whose missus treats him like a dog! Keeps him under her thumb. Feeds him Lassie and Chum. Like a princess who's kissed the wrong frog! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
philmayfield 6,139 Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 Gee thanks! Never was a fan of Lear. I have some much more vulgar ones which I find more appealing! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,307 Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 You'll be in bother with Margie if you repeat them here! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,307 Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 Not forgetting our very own Granville... The exploits of our Ben are historic And his capers quite aleatoric. Whilst delivering bread... Or a bird in a shed. There's no female with whom he won't frolic! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,150 Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 There was a young lady from Lincoln, put yer own in from this point. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Oztalgian 3,296 Posted July 6, 2021 Report Share Posted July 6, 2021 I do know a limerick about a lady from Lincoln but it is far too rude for here, about as many of these ***** as words. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Sparrow 10,307 Posted July 6, 2021 Report Share Posted July 6, 2021 Clean version... There was a young lady from Lincoln Whom her Aussie friends thought was fair dinkum. On Witham they'd row But without her in tow Because she was so fat, she'd just sink em! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,150 Posted July 6, 2021 Report Share Posted July 6, 2021 The one I were thinking of, the last line... "And the baby were a sky-blue pinkun"!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Oztalgian 3,296 Posted July 6, 2021 Report Share Posted July 6, 2021 That's the one BK Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beekay 5,150 Posted July 7, 2021 Report Share Posted July 7, 2021 Good on yer Cobber. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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