darkazana 1,736 Posted November 2, 2013 Report Share Posted November 2, 2013 Mary had a little boy, his name was Sonny Jim, She put him in the bath tub To see if he could swim, He sank to the bottom, He floated to the top, And Mary in fluster picked him up by his Cockles and mussels 1 and 3 a half If you don't like them you shove them up You ask no questions, Tell no lies I saw a policeman buttoning up his Flies are nasty, Bees are worse This is the end of my little verse! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
funnyhaha 14 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 red, white and blue the dirty kangaroo hid behind the dustbin and did a number two 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fch782c 144 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 Myself and my mum both suffered with asthma and a lot of our relatives were heavy smokers, so my mum wrote the following poem and we framed it an hung it on the wall so it could be seen as soon as people walked through the door. Nobody every commented on the poem but all the smokers were great, and from then on would go into the garden for a smoke or in case of rain they would use the rear porch, and in all the years the sign was displayed nobody ever took offence May we please ask you not to smoke As cigarettes are not a joke They kill fresh air and make a smell And make my family feel unwell So welcome here and please be kind Please leave those cigarettes behind Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 My old man said " Be a Derby fan" I said " F**k off b*****ks you're a t**t". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilboro-lad 294 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 You had to point to the relevant bits of your body when you said this one. "Milk, milk, lemonade, Round the back, chocolate's made." 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 Oh Sir Griswold do not touch me. Oh Sir Griswold do not touch. Oh Sir Griswold do not. Oh Sir Griswold do. Oh Sir Griswold. Oh Sir. Oh. 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,736 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 Mary had a little lamb, She tied it to a pylon, A 1000 volts went up its bum And turned its wool to nylon. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilboro-lad 294 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 Mary had a little lamb, Its fleece was black as charcoal. She took it down the garden path, And kicked it up the 'bottom'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,736 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 Mary had a little lamb, She also had a bear, I've often seen her little lamb. I've never seen her...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bilboro-lad 294 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 Not quite a rhyme but we used to go up the street shouting: "Polish it behind the door". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulus 541 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 Polish it well in the corners....................... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
funnyhaha 14 Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 hickory dickory dock two mice ran up the clock the clock struck one but missed the other b**gger Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StephenFord 866 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 Mary had a little lamb It's fleece was black as soot And into Mary's bread and jam He put his sooty foot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colly0410 1,181 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 Some of the ones we had in the Medders. I'm telling me Mam of you you dirty kangaroo you put me in the dustbin & made me black & blue. Hickory dickory dock two mice ran up the clock the clock stuck one & there was blood & guts all over the shop. Donald Duck did some muck behind the kitchen door Mrs Duck cleaned it up & Donald did some more. There were some rude ones I dare not put on here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mattsdigs 104 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 Si Senor Derdego, Forti lores inna row De's not lores, deys istrux Fulla cowsanensandux. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StephenFord 866 Posted November 7, 2013 Report Share Posted November 7, 2013 AB - DCD goldfish? MNO goldfish. SDR RDL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Limey 242 Posted November 7, 2013 Report Share Posted November 7, 2013 2YsUR 2YsUB ICUR 2Ys4Me 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
carni 10,094 Posted November 7, 2013 Report Share Posted November 7, 2013 It's a long time since i sang this one so the lyrics might be slightly wrong. Ha Ha Ha He He He Elephants nest up a Rhubarb Tree I climbed up and broke the eggs And all the yolk Ran down my legs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,736 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 My Uncle Seamus was one for a stunt He used to go out with his coat back to front A number 10 bus came and knocked Seamus down He could have been saved but they turned his head round! One from my first husbands collection Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkazana 1,736 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 And just for good measure from his repertoire My granny loved porridge, she made loads of the stuff But never could find a pan big enough So she made it in kettle, but couldn't get it out So we took it in turns to sup through the spout. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
... 1,411 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 It were me dad that made the fire It were me mam that made the tea It were me mam and dad that fell in love It were me mam and dad that made me It were me mam and dad that I was proud of It were me mam and dad that were proud of me It were me mam and dad that was there on the birth of our baby It were me mam and dad that baby sat It were me mam and they were a godsend It is me mam and that I do miss,and will till my end. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chulla 4,946 Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 If after singing carols outside of a house there was no response, you could sing the verse, preferably through the letter box, 'Hope you have a turkey hanging on a string, Hope the bogger chokes you for making us sing'. Then run away. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
katyjay 5,091 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 I place my hand apon your head Behold! Ten thousand nits are dead. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Annesleyred1865 137 Posted August 17, 2017 Report Share Posted August 17, 2017 'Newstead Bulldogs fast in a den Daren't come out for the Annesley men!' and of course the other way round if your from Newstead or Mutton Hill etc Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NewBasfordlad 3,599 Posted August 17, 2017 Report Share Posted August 17, 2017 Wimpy's men came down the glen like a load of ballet dancers... One in nine had served his time........the rest were bloody chancers Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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