Brew

#49 Bovril............... with milk!!! It's the end of civilisation as we know it for sure.

In all probability they are 'crawler bots' not human.

I liked riding upstairs on a bus (I actually proposed on top of a bus) but as a child I'd look to see if the window behind the drive was 'my special one'. These windows had quite a curve to the right and if I stood I could watch the driver drive the bus. Fascinating - I thought bus drivers must be very clever because they could remember exactly how many times to turn the steering wheel to make the bus go round the corner. I loved trolley buses too.

So they are... damn, the senior moments are getting closer together.

Wot no Spangels! or was it Spangles

If you want to see your credit rating just Google 'free credit checks'. use a throw away mail address etc. I remember in the 90's Talbot house needed to upgrade their electrical supply to meet the demand of the computers. We installed two 1200 kVa transformers and cabled them with 1200mm cable, two per phase (the electricians among us will know just how big those monster cables are) and two 11 thousand volt feeds for security. all this just to run a computer system. They needed to shed as much load as possible whilst we did the change over so they fired up their emergency bac

#4086 Haven't worked with pyro for more than forty years but I still have the same cutter as the one in your picture, it makes a great 15mm copper pipe cutter.

Plantfit just stand up straight and say 'look woman, I'm a man and it's what men do ok?' Just make sure you don't reverse the charges when you make the call.

#26 - You mean there some that don't? For goodness sake what is the world coming to? Ee when I were a lad....

Oztalgian try using a VPN to watch out of geographical TV etc. I regularly use one to watch stuff in the US, it's really easy to setup. The only downside is there can be a degree of 'lag' that can make the stream stutter, but it's not often that happens. The way I stop that is to start the programme and then press pause, let the stream download (watch the progress bar) and when it's an inch or so press play and watch with no lag. Advantages include watching US TV series before they get here and the Danish crime series that are shown on the BBC with sub titles I watch with English dialogue

I thought I saw a UFO once. In '70s I was sent to Oxford by work and decided on a very early start in order to there for 7am, down the M1 off at the A45 and follow the road they said, all very much pre satnav, So, it's about 3am and pitch black when it appeared. Hovering about twenty or thirty feet off the ground, spaceship shaped, glowing a bright golden colour and looking really malevolent. I stopped, my heart pounding, mouth suddenly dry and decidedly not a happy bunny. In the true tradition of the daft I thought "don't know what you are or where you're from but I'm coming through

Because he said the flexi was the culprit and likely to happen again I agreed to have it piped in copper tube. It's not £85 for just the first half hour, it's for every half hour or part of. If after 5pm it goes up to £110 (£220 pr hr) but as the call was made before 5 they kept the pre 5 price throughout. The meter was attended to by National Grid free of charge. There was no smell of gas anywhere but the NG guy detected a weeping joint on the meter (outside meter box). He put it down to the sealing compound hardening over time. The drop was half a millibar after three minutes

Central heating not working so called 'the man'. I can come out after bank holiday, the charge is £85 per half hour. Wow, but it's freezing so went ahead. There's a loose wire in the boiler that was reconnected but on testing found a small gas pressure drop (1mb). Leak traced to probable pinhole in flexible pipe feeding hob. How much to repair? £504 sir. Well it's a gas leak it's either fixed there and then or the gas is capped off until it is repaired. OK go ahead. New pipe work fitted, tested and... there's still a gas leak! It's now nearly midnight. Leak traced to the bleddy outside meter!

The two most upsetting words for a man are "Don't" and "Stop" Unless of course they're said together..

You're welcome Margie. Please try to avoid putting coffee/tea into the keyboard that's much more difficult to fix.

Right click on Blank space on Desktop. Select view, select large, medium or small icons ........... or Right click on Blank space on Desktop Select Themes, icons are to the left ...or In Winders 10 RIGHT click as above. Select display settings... go to advanced settings... scroll down to Advanced sizing of text and other items. Use the drop down box to select icons...

On the first visit by my bride to be to meet my parents the gas ran out and it was 'who's got a bob for the meter' None to be had and mam panicking that the food in the fridge will spoil, it was a gas fridge. The date was Apr 1 and no amount explaining would convince the her that the fridge ran on gas and it was not an April Fools prank. This rather spoiled my little scheme. After showing her a gas fridge I had intended telling her the telly ran on gas too.

Or just drive faster so you get there before the petrol runs out.

I went to join the navy once. They said "can you swim"? I said "why?, you got no boats left"? So I tried the army. "Do you want to learn a trade? no.. Do you want to see the world... no.. Oh, why do you want to join the army then... I wanna shoot people... Joking aside I was actually accepted for the officers training malarkey. On the day I had the letter offering a place at uni that evening a major and a colour sergeant in full dress uniform came to the door to sign me up, I'd done the personnel selection tests some weeks previously and passed apparently. Ah a dilemma, Uni

Old lady trying to get on a bus, if I hadn't kicked her sticks away the bugger would have beat me getting on...

Nope, me mam always said dannies when I were little

You're probably right Loppylugs but it was quite awhile ago, I suppose if I'm honest I chickened out.

You're quick Col, veerry quick....

Some time ago I had one these guys call and introduced himself as representing a cavity wall insulation company authorised to offer a Gas board subsidised quote. I rang the Gas Board and yes it was kosher. OK so far so good, £210 for insulating a detached house seemed a good deal so went for it. They said that they will drill holes through the outer brick about a 1.5 metres apart in a grid pattern and fill it with insulation and once inside it meets up. Two hours of horrendous drilling, a truck pumping the stuff in and we're finished. The problem is I'm the sort that checks these things and ha

Plantfit, the garden waste collection charge here is £40, thank ged we don't have a tram system to support.