Annoying Phrases


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Hi Guys. This topic is like well cool innit? I mean like I said to me friend when he turned round n said 'Whats happenin' n I like said 'We is  talkin about people what don't talk proper ok' n he said

Yeah, perhaps what she actually said was, you have sugar in your urine.

Mick,that conjures up all sorts of images about the urine sample you took in the other day   Rog

When my previous employer became strapped for cash, they made a number including myself redundant.

Managing the cost saving exercise, they called "The Moving Forward Project"

When you weren't meeting your target, you had a 'Personal Development Review' meeting with a manger and were given an 'Action Plan'

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Look on the side of many vans and lorries these days. Whatever business they are connected with, they all have Solutions in their name.

Transport Solutions; Storage Solutions; Marketing Solutions; Business Solutions; Financial Solutions; Advertising Solutions etc.

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They are a clever bunch of knowalls aren't they?

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The people I once worked with who thought of themselves as "Blue Sky Thinkers" were in fact dreamers who regarded themselves as superior beings when in fact they were really incapable of doing a proper job and didn't last long.

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Sadly too many of these people survive in industry and commerce without any real purpose.

I have watched them create their own work agendas, which when analysed you can clearly see that if they

were removed there would be no effect on production or in some cases an improvement.

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On the television; the number of reports beginning with the word, "Well---" The times we hear politicians explain something they think simple with the word, "Clearly---", and the times they use the word, "Look---".

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Barristers have there own key phrases in questioning witnesses in the Crown Court.

"Mr.xxxxxx could you help us with this... Q."

and

"I put it to you Mr.xxxxx you are being economical with the truth"

(In am accusing you of being a liar) :)

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"Do you know why I've stopped you mate?"

"Yeah,because you've got sod all else to do driving round in your little police car! And when I want to get chummy with you I'll let you know...in the meantime watch US cop shows where they call people Sir and Madam and learn from it!

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Wilco's checkout staff, "would you like a mobile top-up ?" if I did I'd bleddy ask for one.

Same as Iceland, "do you have an Iceland bonus card ?" No, & I don't bleedin want one either !

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Shop assistants and others who have the habit of responding to, a thank you with the words, "No problem" Silence would be better or,

" you are welcome" which used to be the response.

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Are you going to tidy the coffee table, loft, shed, greenhouse, letter rack, bookcase, CD cabinet, pants & sock draw, tool box, car boot, cloak room, wardrobe, under the stairs etc? You blokes all know who I mean don't you?

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Orange customer service agent last week.

Probably somewhere in Mumbai?

150.... Brr Brr...

"Hello Sir and how are you today?"

"I want to notify you of my new address for this old sim from 1995, I have just found"

Certainly Sir, what is the number?"

"Cant you see it on your screen?"

"No Sir"

"OK... 07971 86654..... Er 07971 86554.., Um 07971 85665... Sorry I am ringing you on it at the moment, I will get the number and ring you back.

"Thank you sir but I can ring you back if you prefer?"

"Do you know the number?"

"No Sir?"

"Then how will you be able to ring me back?

DOH!

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Are you going to tidy the coffee table, loft, shed, greenhouse, letter rack, bookcase, CD cabinet, pants & sock draw, tool box, car boot, cloak room, wardrobe, under the stairs etc? You blokes all know who I mean don't you?

WELL ARE YOU ! ?

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NO, I only make a small effort if we are having company.

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  • 2 years later...

I was in Pets at Home in Daybrook the other day as my daughter needed biscuits for her dog. 

I took the bag to the checkout to be met with...... Have you got a Loyalty Card ?  No, and I don't want one I replied. I was then told the benefits of owning one. I still said no. Would you like to donate 50p for unwanted pets at Christmas? Ok I said. 

How many units of 50p would you like to donate sir ? Well one of course I replied ! Well you can donate as much as you like sir ! 

Just give me the bleddy biscuits for Christs sake. It was like the Spanish Inquisition.

Next time, it'll be Wilkos for the stuff. 

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