Chulla 4,946 Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 #122. That's the most subtle humour I've heard in a long while! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 #121, Fly I often wondered what bright spark at Walls or Lyons Maid would title a lolly like that...then again Lollygobble,choc bomb does have a smut factor too!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chulla 4,946 Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 Girl and adjustable spanner - obviously too subtle for for Nottstalgians. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 Heard a black guy telling a girl he lived in LA,when she enquired... Lenton Abbey!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
annswabey 599 Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 Or too subtle for those of us who don't know (or care!) about types of Spanner 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chulla 4,946 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 It helps if you do cryptic crosswords, where a spanner is a bridge, ie, something that goes from one place to another. Also, remember Kenny Everett and his sexy double entendre jokes, such as - Man to Girl " let's get something straight between us". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
annswabey 599 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 First thing I do on a Saturday morning is the Telegraph cryptic crossword - a real exercise for the brain! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin1945 16,161 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 Like to think i'm good at General Knowledge so purchased the'....Telegraph general knowledge crossword book' whilst on Holiday,...not as good as i thought i was,......and i'm hopeless at ;Cryptic'.............sometimes finish the 'Sun' one,easy crossword,...lol. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
annswabey 599 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 I like the Telegraph general knowledge crossword too, Benjamin. It's hard, though - don't think I've ever finished it. If there are any questions about mythology, plants, the Solar System (there always seems to be), I've had it! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BeestonMick 263 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 Girl and adjustable spanner I think my ex-wife would have liked one, she always said I was a spanner and that my attitude needed adjusting! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mick2me 3,033 Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FLY2 10,108 Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 Kids don't talk like that nowadays. It's either straight out of Albert Square, Walford, or downtown Kingston Jamaica. Either should be punishable by tongue extraction ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblewrap 3,815 Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 I think my ex-wife would have liked one, she always said I was a spanner and that my attitude needed adjusting! Was your ex nuts or crackers BM Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rob.L 1,090 Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 I bet it was a wrench when you parted! Hope you managed to adjust. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mick2me 3,033 Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
siddha 825 Posted April 16, 2016 Report Share Posted April 16, 2016 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Manversboy 35 Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 Hi All,  My late mother had an expression "standing around like Joss", by which I think she meant being kept waiting if I was dawdling. Has anyone else come across this or similar? I've looked up "joss" on Google (there are no hits on this site) and it seems to refer to good luck or a lucky charm or figure, especially in China. Why do I want to know? I'm trying to choose a name for a new puppy and Joss came up on a search of dog names. My wife and I rather like it, especially the "good luck" meaning - but how being kept hanging about relates to good luck beats me, though!  Ta for reading this,  MB Quote Link to post Share on other sites
philmayfield 6,144 Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Our daughter"s called Jos - Jocelyn actually! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MargieH 7,600 Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Joss sticks?  Does the dog smell nice?  Our dog when I was little used to like rolling in anything unsavoury or dead - I think he saw it as a mark of respect or something.  One day at Chapel St Leonard's, he rolled in a dead seagull on the beach and we had to hold him under the outside tap on the caravan site to try and wash the smell away...... unsuccessfully, as we didn't think to use any soap or shampoo.  Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Manversboy 35 Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Joss Ackland, the actor, is also called Jocelyn among other first names. Â I've found another reference to Joss being good luck in a short story in "Sea Warfare", by Rudyard Kipling, called "Concerning Joss" in which he talks about the value of good luck in wartime, in his story the war at sea in WW1. Â And Joss also may refer to The Boss or foreman, so "standing around like Joss" may refer to a boss who doesn't do much? Â Smelly dogs! Our last dog, a very furry Beardie, liked deer poo, urrgh! Â MB Â Â Â Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Oztalgian 3,298 Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Manversboy #1 From visits to China, Â Joss is a Chinese religious statue or a house idol so I can see where the expression comes from. Incidentally a Joss Stick is a stick coated with something fragrant and burned before a Joss Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Manversboy 35 Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Oztalgian,  Thanks for that, I can see the connection too now, but odd how it came to be a piece of British slang unless Chinese idols were common souvenirs?  Ta  MB Quote Link to post Share on other sites
colwickite 35 Posted April 27, 2017 Report Share Posted April 27, 2017 Since I do not understand this site or how to use it, I will put this here and hope someone can send it where it needs to be!                     A LESSON IN LINGO!  If your dad said he’ll ‘box yer tabs’, would yo’ know woree meant? Tabs is ‘ears’, box is ‘hit’ so it’s a painful punishment Its for sure you’ve all bought ‘duddoo’s’ wi’ a bronze threp’ny bit, They’re sweeties from a ‘tuffee’ shop; does that make sense of it? No need to mourn when ‘Charlie’s dead’ and nobody shed’s a tear It’s telling you your slip is showing, now that should make it clear. Don’t frahn at ‘ayya-bin-dahn’ it asks ‘Have you been to the match?’ And a small round loaf with a crusty top is colloquially called a ‘batch’ Now, ‘ayya-gorra-wi-ya’ shouldn’t cause you strife. It simply and politely asks, ‘Are you with your wife’? If asked ‘Can I ey ya coggin?’ and with that you cannot grapple, They’re only begging for what remains of your half eaten apple! To the use of that word ‘nunnoo’s’, let’s get you reconciled, It’s simply the gift of pennies that one gives to a child. Ask for a ‘cob’ and I promise you you’ll not be given a horse, Round these parts, it simply means a small bread roll of course! Now, heard from the lips of a woman, ‘Ooh she’s a ‘stuck up cah!’ She’s not a cow in a field of glue; she speaks kinda ‘lah di dah’!                                             When in a pub and someone asks ‘oyya-beeya-sen?’ He’s simply curious as to why you’re on your own again. A knock on the door, you open it, a friend stands there-upon, And asks ‘Oyya ya mashin’?’ don’t be alarmed, just put the kettle on! And a ‘clubman’ isn’t someone suffering crippling of the feet It’s a man who sells stuff at the door and you pay him weak by week. Now ‘teggies’ are children’s teeth and ‘dannies’ their tiny hands In a muddle over ‘laggies’? They’re simply elastic bands. I didn’t write this ditty to imply that you are dumb It’s to help you understand how we talk in Nottingum! 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Merthyr Imp 729 Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Surely it should be 'bat yer tabs'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Pianoman 1,535 Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 And surely tiny hands are 'dandies'? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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